Skinny Summer

I was fifteen back then, and it was summer. No worries about school or mean girls. I went on a road trip with my dad. He was always a good father, but he didn't know me. No one ever knew me. I lived a life in my head. A girl was haunting me in every reflection.
I felt insane, but I had to hide it. I couldn't tell my dad.

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6. Going to the beach

We had driven for a long time now. Dad didn’t seem tired at all. I was almost falling asleep. I sat by the window and looked outside. We drove in a little town called Køge. It was beautiful; it was filled with old buildings, so I felt like the year was 1800. It was such a pretty, little town!

Dad stopped and parked in front of a hotdog stand. My heart started to beat a bit faster, until he took a map that was under his feet. It was a map of Zealand.

“I have a little surprise, I just need to find out where it’s at”, he said.

He put the map back under his feet, and drove again.

As the window next to me was open, I felt how windy it got. I started to hear seagulls scream near the autocamper.

Suddenly we stopped, but we weren’t on a parking lot. We weren’t even near the road.

I looked out of the window, confused I asked:

“Where are we, dad?”

He got out and opened the door for me. I stepped out and he said:
“Welcome to Køge Beach!”

I was a bit shocked; that beach was not pretty!

There were barely any sand at all, and where there were, it was filled with rocks and seaweed.

“You can go swimming for a while! I’ll check the map and see where we should go next”, he said.

I stood there, on a windy, ugly beach.

I went into the autocamper and found my bikini. I went to the bathroom and put it on.

It was red with white dots on it. I looked in the mirror. The bikini did not help my pale skin one bit. My hair was a mess and I had huge, dark circles on my lower eyelids. A huge role of fat went over my bikini bottom and all the way around. I pulled them up and over the role to cover it. My thighs looked like to logs. They were lying right up against each other, and I hated it. My breasts were way too small. They didn’t fit in on my body at all.

I had freckles covering my nose. I looked gross, and I felt disgusting. I just wanted to cry and stay in bed all day, but I knew I couldn’t do that because of dad.

I took a towel and put it around me, covered my hideous body.

I went out of the bathroom, hurried over to the beach, dropped the towel and walked out to the water.

It was cold, but not too cold. I tried to get as far out as I could.

They water was holding me, like a mother holds a newborn baby; safely and weightless.

That was the only time I had ever felt weightless, like I was small and easy to lift.

I was carried around on the water. I closed my eyes and felt the gentle water right beneath me.

It was heavenly.

“Time to go”, dad shouted after me. Already?

I swam towards land and smoothly landed in the sand. I got up, took the towel and went back to the autocamper.

Dad looked suspiciously at me and said:
“Have you lost weight? You look so skinny.”

I made a nervous laugh and said:

“No, I haven’t.”

 

I got dressed and dried my hair. I sat on the bed and looked at the old magazines my dad had from when he was young. He noticed I was smooching around, took the magazines out of my hands and said:
“Next stop; Næstved” 

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