The Mommy Porn Effect

Ella, a seemingly normal woman has a very secret life. She could be the girl next to you in lecture or behind you at the store. Only, Ella has been reading, and there is nothing more powerful than words to awaken you.

Through her on/off relationship with Tyler Dobson, and her persistent curiosity, Ella comes to the conclusion; 'It's all about sex.'

Based on a true story.

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6. Chapter 6

            2pm, meet Tyler at the train station, hug, check, kiss, check, rush around like a mad woman without the time to properly greet my long lost boyfriend, check.

            ‘Ella, please calm down, you have hours. Come here.’ Tyler swung me around and my worries flowed out of my body and for just a moment in the busy train station, I noticed the people standing around. People hugging, kissing, and the station was filled with others who had missed their loved ones. I felt overwhelmed and buried my head into Tyler’s chest.

            ‘I’ve missed you so much.’ I looked up into his eyes. He stared back down at me, with the most sincere grin.

            ‘I will calm down once we’re home, we will only have an hour together before I have to start cooking and getting you ready. I’ve just missed you so-‘ I was cut off by Tyler placing his finger firmly on my lips.

            ‘Calm sweetheart. It will be fine.’ His arms loosened around my body and he grabbed my hand, gently caressing my knuckle with his thumb. We started the walk home and I thanked God that I lived in the town center. It would only be 5 minutes until we arrived home.

            I pointed at the great architecture that Eastbourne had to offer, divulging information on its history. The little I knew. This would be Tyler’s first time in Eastbourne and the first time seeing my University home. It had to go perfectly, I needed him to see how adult I was, how mature and ready. The second we arrived through the door, his eyes widened.

            ‘So this is where you’ve been? It’s really beautiful here.’ I knew I had made the right decision in University housing, it was really quite lovely, but hearing Tyler’s voice confirm it made me proudly smile inwardly.

            ‘I’ll give you a tour!’ I smiled and once again took his hand and flew him to the other end of the corridor. The tour lasted a little longer than we had time to justify. At 2:39pm, I pulled him into my room and shut the door. No one was in. I pushed him firmly to the bed. As I watched him fall back, his shirt had lifted ever so slightly, showing his stomach; skinnier than the last time I saw him, flat and toned. Something about Tyler’s body dug its way into my conscious as well as tantalizing my senses. His hair was shorter, but still rough and bedraggled. Hazel eyes pierced through my barriers, and the event was forgotten.

            ‘Come here.’ Tyler sat up and pulled on my arm causing me to fall perfectly on top of him. He stretched his neck to hold his head near mine. His lips touched mine tenderly and I reciprocated, meeting his kiss with equal fervor. His hand gripped at my shoulder, slowly sliding down my arms, pulling me in closer. I felt myself involuntarily grind back against him. Tyler let out a small moan from his lips behind gritted teeth.

            ‘I’ve missed you. Here. Like this, Ella.’ He motioned our bodies entwined, ‘I love you.’

            I fell into his chest, and I felt as if I could stay there forever, but unfortunately I had spotted my clock, and as much as I wished to shut it out, the time was ticking. 2:57pm.

            ‘Tyler…’ He pulled back, knowing what I was about to say.

            ‘I understand, we’ll have plenty of time together once the event is finished.’ Tyler, you are a dream. I swung my leg over him and placed it firmly on the carpet.

            ‘So are you still as great a cook as I remember?’ Winking at Tyler, he laughed.

            ‘Ella, darling, this is your Tyler.’ Exactly, my Tyler.

3:45pm, BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!

            ‘Tyler please!’ I screamed out over the loud beeps. ‘Stop that fire alarm!’ This was not the time, nor place for things to fall apart.

            ‘I’m trying! It’s confusing!’ Tyler fiddled with the odd security box in my doorway, frantically entering codes to silence the alarm. We were not on fire, we had simply been cooking mince for too long, with all windows and doors shut. Living in a block of flats, the alarm had to be loud, in case of an emergency. The sound was deafening.

            ‘Tyler, I know you’re trying, but SHUT IT UP.’ My anger was not at him, my anger was not aimed at anyone, for it was no one’s fault, other than mine, but this was the worst time.

            ‘Oh Sam, you’re home!’ I cried out to the older of the Sam’s that I lived with, ‘Do you have any idea how to stop this racket?’ Within a few minutes the beeping had stopped and my ears sighed with relief. Now to hope the food hadn’t burnt in the ruckus. It was perfect. 4 different types of mince; Vegetarian, Hot and spicy, seasoned, and un-seasoned. My Nan was allergic to pepper, half of the guests I was expecting preferred hot food, whilst the other preferred lightly seasoned and I was catering for 2 vegetarians. I found some serving bowls and Tyler helped me set the taco bar, glancing occasional smiles at each other. We worked well together. We sat in the living room once the table was set, plates, cutlery, glasses, wine and beer placed around the room.

4pm, call Mother.

            ‘Where are you?’ I snapped.

            ‘In traffic sweetheart, we’re getting there as fast as we can.’

            ‘Not quick enough! Hurry!’ I was stressed and my tone was less than pleasant.

            4:30pm, call Scott.

            ‘Where on earth are you? I need you here now!’

            ‘Sorry Ella, the roads are jammed!’ My heart dropped. I knew that the traffic excuse must have been truthful.

            ‘It’s ok Scott, just please get here soon.’ I was frantic.

            The doorbell rang, my legs buckled beneath me as I clambered to the door.

            ‘Mum!’ Tears almost filled my eyes from stress. My mother hugged me, and was followed in by my Father, Nan and her husband, and 2 of my aunties.

            ‘Nan’ I smiled, ‘I’ve missed you!’ Tears fell from my Nan’s eyes fell filled with happiness.

            ‘You too baby! I don’t know what to do with you all over the place, I worry so much.’ My Nan had always been an emotional character. She threw her arms around me and held me close to her in a bear hug fashion.

            ‘And Aunty Nina! And Aunty Thimble!’ It had been so long since I had seen them, we weren’t as close as my Nan and I, but it was a shame, because they were wonderful women. Aunty Thimble, actual name Elizabeth, was kooky, and believed in magic; a very spiritual woman. Aunty Nina had lost a son 10 years ago, tragically. It never made her bitter, she shared her love with all children, she was a true role model. I turned to my Mother and Nan.

            ‘Where’s Matthew?’ I shouldn’t have been surprised. Although I loved Matthew, my uncle was not the most dependable.

            ‘He told us to tell you he’s sorry, but he couldn’t make it. He wishes you all the best, and knows it will be perfect.’ My Mum looked me in the eyes and I could see the disbelief, she was not happy with Matthew. The disappointment would not get me down though, I had guests to entertain in a very short amount of time.

            I showed my family through to the living room, a tour would have to wait until next visit. Tyler greeted the familiar faces as they passed through. The food sat waiting, still warm, ready to be devoured.

            ‘Please, please, help yourself to food and drink. I have wine,’ I motioned the wine bottles neatly set out of the coffee table surrounded by wine glasses, ‘Red, White and Rose. Beer for the fella’s and finally food…’ I walked my guests through the different serving bowls ensuring everyone had the right mince.

            5:30pm, Scott and the band have still not arrived. Tyler is not ready and still unaware of my surprise. Seeing my boyfriend in a red dress and sandals I picked out at a charity store, a Marilyn Monroe wig I picked up at the local costume store would certainly cheer me up.

            ‘Oh, Tyler,’ I mocked, ‘Will you accompany me to my bedroom?’ My Nan choked on her wine.  

            ‘Ella!’ My Nan screeched wiping the red wine from her chin.

            ‘Don’t worry Nan, I’m not that rude. We will return soon.’ I lead the way to my bedroom and picked up the satin ribbon from my dress robe. I placed the ribbon around his eyes tightening it behind his head.

            ‘Ella?’ Tyler’s expression held confusion.

            ‘Wait, I have a surprise. It’s your costume!’ Tyler’s face dropped. He knew me all too well, I always had a flair for the dramatic. I unbuttoned his pressed white shirt and slid it off each arm in turn. I ran my hands down his chest briefly, my knees went weak for a split second before regaining composure. Tyler let out a knowing smile from beneath his blindfold.

            ‘Arms up for Jesus!’ Tyler lifted his arms, his biceps protruding. I slid the red knee-length, plunge neck dress off the hanger on my clothes rail. Slipping it over his head, Tyler giggled.

            ‘What are you putting me in?’ Tyler rightly questioned my actions. As I pulled the dress down over him, I knelt before him and started to remove his trousers, slowly undoing the buttons, and the zip. The trousers fell to the floor and I faced his crotch, he had become hard in the undressing. I rose to my feet without hesitation, now was not the time for sex. I undid the blindfold and let it fall.

            ‘Keep your eye’s closed. I need the blindfold off for this part.’ I took the Marilyn wig out of my drawer where it hid from his wandering eyes. I positioned it perfectly on his head so that a curl of hair fell in front of his face.

            ‘Ella’ Tyler’s voice was stern now.

            ‘Shh,’ I tried my luck, ‘You’ll look beautiful, sweetheart.’ I loved teasing Tyler.

            ‘Can I please open my eyes now?’ He was pleading and as much as I would have loved to carry on my torment, I simply did not have the time.

            ‘Yes.’ I placed him in front of the mirror awaiting his response; would he go mad? Or enjoy it? Please enjoy this.

            ‘Oh, Darling!’ Tyler flipped a limp wrist whilst looking at me squarely. My face visually relaxed. ‘This will be fun!’ I loved Tyler’s sense of humour. He pranced into the living room and I heard the cackling of the witches I called my female family.

            ‘Mum, I trust you to apply Tyler’s- Sorry, Marilyn’s make-up. I’m running late and the boys are not here yet. I will have to set off to the pub now, meet me there at 6:30 for sound checks?’ My Mother nodded still studying Tyler’s outfit, grinning. ‘And Dad, could you give me a lift there and help with carrying the prizes and boxes?’ There were boxes filled of raffle prizes, microphones, and decorations that were to be set out and it was nearing 6pm. It took seconds for my Father to be ready and out of the door, boxes in hand.

            Arriving at Buskers I was greeted by a cheerful Jack.

            ‘The pub is at your disposal Ella, good luck.’ He came in for a hug, and I was not going to refuse him, he was the true savior of this night. I did not want to disappoint him.

            Where was Scott? I started to panic. Luckily family and Tyler had arrived. Tyler earned many confused, amused and wary glimpses from the punters. He loved the attention and ran around the pub flirting with men. Catching glimpses of him myself in my frantic organizing I let myself giggle, this kept me sane. A call from Scott!

            ‘Scott, where are you? I’m going crazy here! You are due on stage in 45 minutes tops! That’s as far as I can hold it off!’

            ‘The traffic is insane Ella, we’re doing our best. We should be there in around 30 – 40 minutes.’ Scott was obviously angered, perhaps they had been arguing in the car, but I did not have the time to deal with any drama.

            ‘Scott, lighten your tone, I do not have time for any arguments, just get here as quick as you can… Oh, and I can’t wait to see you.’ My tone lightened. I couldn’t very well tell him to lighten up if I were shouting at him. I tried to calm myself with a drink of lemonade. Everyone else could get drunk, I would wait for the after party for that.

            Tyler entered stage right.

            ‘Ladies and gentlemen!’ He caught the crowd’s attention immediately, ‘Welcome to tonight’s event, you have a few acts coming up tonight; Annette – a blues singer, Phil- a comedian, and a headlining band – The Schemers, a ska punk band all the way from Bournemouth tonight!’ The audience applauded, but Tyler was not stopping there. ‘Oh sweetie,’ he motioned a lady in the crowd wearing a cream ruffled scarf, ‘That scarf,’ he approached the woman tugging on the end of her scarf, ‘…goes perfectly with this dress don’t you think?’ He pulled the scarf to his dress and the crowd laughed. He returned to the stage and asked the audience, and of course alike any drag act the audience knew better than to disagree with him.

            It wasn’t long until the wonderful atmosphere I had experienced my first time here was shining through. Friends and family, alongside strangers laughing and applauding in unison.

            My Mother was the first on stage with her karaoke set; she had not yet got a back-up band for her powerful voice. ‘Feeling good’, ‘Cry Me a River’… classics. The audience joined in on choruses and they could not have loved her more.

6:55pm I saw Scott’s face at the door, smoking a cigarette. Relief surged through my body. My Mother had only gone through 2 out of her 5 songs. I made my way to the door.

‘Ella!’ Scott was happy to see me, and he did not understand the emotions rushing through my every limb; anger, frustration, happiness, excited, but most of relief. Scott straightened himself and wore a more reserved manner. ‘I’m sorry we’re so late.’

‘It doesn’t matter, you’re here now, and just on time.’ Seeing Scott reminded me why I had done this, for them, and it was my job as the planner to leave space for mishaps, and I had done so. This was certainly something I could write about in the follow up essay.

The night was met with well-behaved antics, a brilliant atmosphere, the kind you only experience in your Nan’s home; warm and welcoming. The night was perfect, everything I envisioned; it was magical, and it was over all too quickly.

The end of the night was near, Tyler stood on the stage for the last time.

‘Good night my lovelies, you have been amazing, and I hope you have enjoyed yourself at tonight’s Children in Need event. It would not have been possible to make this money, without you, the performers and most of all…’ Tyler paused for dramatic effect. Please don’t pull me up there, please Tyler, please. I pleaded with my eyes once more but resistance was futile. ‘Ella! Our very own event organizer, who put this event together with no money, no help, and only a few days at her disposal. Come on up!’ If looks could kill Tyler would have collapsed on the stage, but alas, he stood, and so would I. ‘Can I hear it for Ella?’ This is ridiculous and way over the top. I repeated the words trying to hold onto my anger as the crowd applauded my efforts, it was rather nice actually, fulfilling. I hated Tyler for knowing how to make me grin like a Cheshire Cat, in season.

 

The boys were to leave following day, early. They had tidied the apartment before I had even woke. The pounding in my head made it evident I was hung over. How long had I slept? I woke alone, Tyler had been tidying too. As I left my bedroom I glanced across the hallway and across into the kitchen – spotless. I was more than grateful, I had not been looking forward to the tidy up. Tyler waltzed past me, still dazed I stumbled on my feet as he planted a chased kiss on my cheek.

‘Wakey, wakey, darling.’ He was happy. What was the time? I checked the clock; 11:12am. It was not exactly late but the pounding in my head told me I had a long day ahead. Stills of the night flooded my mind, my memory slowly returning. The boys were running around with boxes on their head impersonating red Indians, they broke my masher. Hannah was here, with her boyfriend. He had come down for the event. I briefly remembered chatting to him on the balcony whilst enjoying a cigarette.

‘Where are the boys?’ I questioned the quietness of the flat.

‘They’re in the living room. Minus, Scott and Kyle, they’re on the balcony having a cigarette.’

I made my way to the balcony and greeted my friends there. Kyle was a great friend. We only really got to know each other towards the end of college, but we had clicked. It was the sort of friendship that blossomed so quickly that you were scared that it may also die as quick, but so far, it showed no signs of wilting.

‘Hi Ella,’ they both smiled at me, ‘I had a great time last night, you can definitely throw a party.’ Kyle’s voice croaked; he looked as well for wear as I felt. I searched the deepest depths of my memory to reassure myself I had not done anything too stupid. ‘You look tired, we’re leaving soon, you can go back to bed I’m sure.’ Kyle winked as Tyler entered the kitchen. I couldn’t help the smile that graced my face as I realized Tyler had not taken his make-up off last night.

 

With my first major assignment over with University life became the norm, I settled and got used to my home away from home. I wasn’t sure how to feel when the Christmas holidays approached closer each day. Of course, I was excited, and seeing Tyler again after our wonderful weekend together was long and eagerly awaited, not to mention my parents, pets and friends. Something did not feel right however, and no matter how much I racked my brain, I could not place my finger on just what had me so worked up.

Tyler and I had been speaking less and less, I chalked it down to the amount of work we had to complete before we could head home. He was most likely just as fidgety as me for getting home and seeing each other. I knew I would miss Hannah, we had really gotten to know each other in our first term. We met up every Friday for an exercise day, which ultimately resulted in pizza, wine and a film.

I felt my independence slipping away as my Father helped me with my bags at the train station. Southampton was not as beautiful as charming little Eastbourne. I was no longer hostess, but the child who lived off her parents again, no job. My warm reception as I walked through the door to my house was inclusive of my 3 dogs, my Mother and Father.

‘Hello Hon, it’s so nice to have you back, we have all your favorite food stocked.’ My Mother greeted me, the sentiment was more than friendly but I felt suppressed. I did my own food shopping now, and bought healthier food than my parents would stock.

‘Thank you Mama, I’m going to take my bags upstairs. I’m really tired from the journey.’ I shrugged off the peculiar feeling and picked up my bags. I reached my bedroom door and nostalgia flooded through me. Everything was the same, I opened the door to be faced with a ‘Surprise’ banner. My parents had sneaked up behind me.

‘Surprise! Take a look!’ My Mother’s voice screeched. After pulling the banner off my face, I took in my room. My purple walls, were now cream, my matching purple carpet; stained from years of use, was now a wooden floor. My black and white floral bedspread now a cream quilt with red flowers on the surface with patterned pillows decorating the frame of the bed - that was new too. My eyes glanced around at my wooden storage units, wardrobe, dressing table and drawers, still the same, but a rug, matching my new quilt laid perfectly straight on my floor.

‘What do you think?’ The excitement in my Mother’s voice was evident, but I was too tired to give her the response she so desperately craved, I would have to fake it. I put on my best grin, noticing my attempt was less than believable I decided to cover my mouth instead and attempt the shocked response instead.

‘Oh wow! Mama! This must have taken you so long!’

‘Not too long, but you needed a new room, and you earned it. Our little university student is home and she needs a room befitting herself.’ My Mother’s words brought a genuine smile to my face and I lowered my hands.

‘Thank you Mama. It’s perfect!’

‘I’ll let you get accustomed to it, it’s a lot to take in. Unpack and we’ll have a family dinner tonight.’ With that she turned on her heel and flounced out of the room proud of herself, my Father following.

I sat on my bed and slumped my luggage onto the new rug. The room had taken me by surprise, I had looked forward to getting back into my room, I was appreciative, but all I could think of was the memories that had been painted over and destroyed with the old room. The moment I was gone, they made my room a guest room. It reminded me of a hotel room, and after all, that’s all it would be to me now. My parents attempt at welcoming me home couldn’t have made me feel less at home. I tried to shake my despair to no avail. I wanted my room. I told myself, Tyler would be back tomorrow, and I’ll see him soon, and Amelia. It had been too long.

The ring I bought Tyler a few weeks back in return for mine sat staring at me with pride of place on my bedside table. I would be giving him this very soon. I was uneasy about what method to use in the giving of the ring; women do not buy men rings. Would he like it?

The day passed all too slowly until I could climb into my newly fitted bed. The room was too bright to sleep, but I was determined to get a good night before Tyler cane back.

9am I fell out of my bed and checked my phone, nothing. The morning would continue the same way; once every hour checking my phone. 2pm reached and my day had been uneventful. I gave in to my wants and texted Tyler.

 

To: Tyler

From: Ella

 

Hi Sweetie, I’m at home and I have a new room! Can’t wait to see you, the holidays could not have come slower xxx

 

I lied, of course. I wanted Tyler to see me happy and eager. I was eager to give him his ring, despite my worries. The days went slow following my text, no reply. Amelia visited, she told me of things that had happened between our friends and within the village in my absence, but my attention was wholeheartedly stolen by my phone screen. I felt guilty, but my mind would not slow, nor rest.

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