The Mommy Porn Effect

Ella, a seemingly normal woman has a very secret life. She could be the girl next to you in lecture or behind you at the store. Only, Ella has been reading, and there is nothing more powerful than words to awaken you.

Through her on/off relationship with Tyler Dobson, and her persistent curiosity, Ella comes to the conclusion; 'It's all about sex.'

Based on a true story.

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1. Chapter 1

            It had been a week since I last spoke to Tyler. I think that had been the longest I had ever gone. Bile filled my throat at the thought of never seeing him again. How could I have been so senseless? Admittedly Tyler was not perfect, but my actions had caused too much disruption to warrant forgiveness.

            Harry was far from attractive, long straggly hair, badly placed piercings and an awful shade of purple that served as some form of hair colour. I was usually lured in by these sorts of people, but recently; in love with Tyler Smith, I wanted nothing but him. My tall, beautiful, broken man. Harry was nothing in comparison to the warm embrace of Tyler’s arm around my shoulder, gently tracing sweet nothings on my skin with his apt fingers. Why had I been so thoughtless? Whereas Tyler was tall, dark and handsome. A sleek figure with enough muscle to be attractive but not too much to be off putting. Mid-length dark brown hair and a chiseled physique. Not to mention the air of sincerity and mystery that hung from him like a newly fitted suit. I had been extremely lucky. So why had I been such a fool?

            As much as I hated to admit it at the time but my answers weren’t truly out of reach. Tyler and I had not been connecting in months. Years of our relationship, however young we may have been, were still dear to us, and so the pain was all the more raw when we hit our downfall. Tyler’s words echoed in my conscious – ‘Sometimes I think about breaking up with you, but I will never do it.’ What was that supposed to mean? It was the weirdest, most heart-breaking endearment I ever had the misfortune of hearing. The words plagued my thoughts until driving me to my worst regret.

I never blamed Tyler for my mistakes. After all, they were my mistakes and my choices that led me to them. I’m not that sort of girl, which is exactly why I led him to believe they were somewhat worse than they were after the realization that things were not going to be ok again. In any case, who was going to believe the truth? This way he had his person to hate, and blame.

After cheating on Tyler, I called him immediately. I poured out my heart and my deepest regrets. I had never felt so foolish in my life. Considering Tyler’s track record, Tyler was easy on me. He was upset, and wished not to talk to me. Perhaps a break was necessary, but hearing the words broke my heart. However, hearing from Danny did not help situations.

Danny was a fling, a idiotic fling from a couple years back, who confusingly always seemed to date girls with the same name; Leona, which ended up being more trouble than he could have ever imagined. Danny was an idiot. In having confidence issues alongside Leona mark 2, he messaged me on the infamous site; Facebook.


Danny Elroy
23:09
Hi Ella, I was wondering if I could ask you a question?


Ella Grey
23:11
Sure Danny, what’s up?

Completely oblivious to the problems it would cause, I answered his question.


Ella Grey
23:17
No Danny, you were fine.


Danny informed me of Leona Mark 1’s words that had knocked his confidence so badly, making sure to mention something along the lines of never wanting her to find out about our fling due to the mutual disdain we shared for each other.

            Now don’t get me wrong, they were not together at the time; I was never and never will be that girl. In fact I like to think of myself as the exact opposite. I try to be kind, polite and personable. I believe a good deed bragged about is a good deed ruined, and that smiles are infectious and should be shone around the world for no other reason than ‘it’s fun’. Now I may sound all hugs and puppies, head in the clouds young girl, but I have always been a dreamer at heart and see no issue with this whatsoever; it was just a shame that I never loved fully. I protected my heart and left one foot on the ground. My feelings were real and shattering, but at the same time oddly muted. So when Leona Mark 2 hacked Danny’s messages and convinced herself he must be on about her and that he was hiding something from her (me), she showed no hesitation in running off to Tyler, tail between her legs informing him of Danny and I’s deceit.

            Of course Danny and I tried to explain the situation, and I think for a moment, however brief, Tyler believed us. Leona unfortunately did not share the same faith as Danny had not exactly been faithful in the past. For weeks she pushed and pushed Danny for ‘the truth’ or that would be the end. Danny eventually cracked and told her that we had ‘kissed’ just to satisfy her ‘injured party’ persona. Leona Mark 2 ran straight into Tyler’s arm reassuring them that they had been the victims here. Danny made me promise never to bring the situation back up as it took so much to get things back on track for his 2 year long relationship, after all, mine was already over anyway.

            It was about then that I realized, this break was indefinite. Tyler had, rightly, lost all trust in me, even if I did tell him the truth the chances of being believed were slim. He was hurt, and he needed his anger. So I agreed with Danny. I thought to myself what I was doing for the best, so I admitted to cheating on Tyler with Danny, no matter how untrue, and took the consequences; ultimate silent treatment, after the screaming, shouting and crying that is. Tyler, however, seemed unsure he was not going to move on easily, so I did the only thing I saw fit.

            Thanks to movies and my dreamer persona, I had a flair for the dramatic. Instead of talking it out like adults or just leaving him be, I decided to inform him that I never loved him and that he should just move on now and save himself the hassle. Looking back on that day, I feel a fool. I tried to keep a straight face and stop the tears from rushing down my flushed face, my performance was less than adequate. I could see the pain in Tyler’s eyes and he stared intently at the carpeted flooring. This was possibly my biggest mistake yet.

So, so far, girl meets boy, girl loves boy, girl and boy have problems, girl cheats on boy, girl then lies to boy about further cheating, girl then tells boy that she loves she never loved him and to just move on. Ella, you idiot.

            I would love to say that I had the self-control to leave it there. My plan, however dramatic, was in place and my intentions were nonetheless pure. On the other hand, I loved Tyler and I wanted him back. I wanted to hold him and let him know the truth, but it was too late and who would believe me? So my new plan took it’s time in the spotlight; a blog. If I could write a blog, an entry a day about our memories and how much I truly loved Tyler, making him a promise each day, maybe, just maybe, I could convince him to reconsider. Maybe it wouldn’t be over?

            But unforgiving, the time flew past, hours, days and months, and although Tyler could now stomach the sight of me, there was still no hope for anything more. We had begun seeing each other outside of the regular workday on the other hand, and as usual, we were having sex. See, for Tyler and I, this was the norm. Since we had first got together and he had taken my virginity, our relationship seemed to weigh itself more heavily on the sexual side. We were both naturally inquisitive, curious, and adventurous people and our exploits helped shape whom we both are today.

            You may be thinking that Tyler will be the protagonist of this story, but despite my dreaming tendencies, this is unfortunately a true story and there is not, and never will be the white knight on his gallant steed to save the day so please eradicate all assumptions forthwith. Tyler had been no angel himself. Leaving me whilst pregnant for another girl who he decided not to mention when he promised me he was going to 'be there for me', or the multiple of other girls he liked to plan to fuck; I never found out if any of these plans were carried out, or another one of my favorites; offering to take one of his ‘girls’ out on a shopping trip with the money saved to buy our commitment rings before we were to leave for University.

            I had mentioned earlier, that Tyler had a track record of his own. I just preferred to tell you in my own words, my own mistakes, better to hear it now and know that I do not blame Tyler’s mistakes for my own.

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