Homeless Love (Harry Styles)

Karma is a bitch, but I deserve every single of it. I need to feel the pain I caused on the boy I truly loved. I loved him, still do, but why did I hurt him?

Because I was a selfish bitch.

If getting raped 3 times, getting kidnapped, being homeless in the street of London isn't enough then I don't know what it is. I have no one, if only I had him.

If only...


13. Chapter TEN

DIANA IS PERFECT(insert a heart, im too lazy)

btw ur a lucky bitch if ur name is Diana!

This chapter may be crappy, I hope not.

But yeah, whoa its already chapter 10! :o


After what seem like years, i finally find my clothes. As soon as i slip on Harry came, with a cheeky grin.

"What?" I asked annoyed.

"Nothing" he crossed his arms and lean into the wall.   I sigh and walked past him, throwing the shirt at him. I slip on my boots which were neatly placed in front of the door. I was going to walk but my shoes deciding to trip myself, i waited for the ground to collide with my body  but suddenly 2 strong arms wrapped around my waist. Damn you old and broken boots. I slowly looked up to see beautiful green eyes staring at me, we stared each other what seem like hours. I miss him a lot, his eyes, the way they shine. But my stupid ego and bet had to change everything, i felt a tear building up thinking about when i last time i looked into his eyes was when i told everyone it was dare, they were full of regret.

I snap out, what are you doing Heidi? He doesn't love you anymore.

With help of his forearm i got up.

"T-Thank you" i stutter.

He snap out and smirked again.

"Its okay, i always have girls falling for me" he winked,again.

I scoff disgustedly. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at him.

  "Y-you've changed" i whisper staring at him.

His smirk fell into a frown and looked down.

"You're the one who changed me" Harry whisper, loud enough that i could hear still staring down.

When i heard those words i felt someone put a knife into my heart and slowly twist it. I could feel tear coming, but i quickly blink my eyes to make it disappear. He changed because of me, because of me the Harry i loved is long gone? All my fault.

"I-im so,s-so,so so so sorry." i choke out trembling.

"Of course you are."He scoff.

I don't know why but anger build up. I have no idea why.

"Y-You think im not sorry!?" I snapped and wipe my tear which managed to fell down.

"Please, everyone knows the 'oh so Miss Popular Heidi' is never sorry for anyone." Harry rolled his eyes.

I looked up at him, he had a bored expression while staring behind me.

it was true, like i said i used to be selfish bitch.

"T-that was the old me." I explain.

"Oh really?" He dryly laughed. "I know what you are doing, you are pulling this fucking 'innocent' act so people feel sympathy for you and love you, like i did! And then you will left them broken hearted like you did to me!  god sake i wanted to spend life with you! I spend 2 fucking months crying my eyes out while you were probably partying you're victory! I bet this is another dare to act like a homele-"

"STOP!" I screamed, adrenaline started to come and  i couldn't take it anymore.

  "Do you seriously think being homeless can be a dare?Didn't you though how i felt?! I fucking loved you too Harry! I was too caught up with my shadows! I know what i did was horrible and look where that brought me! I am homeless, no family, no friends!At least you had someone to comfort you, i had no one! The 200$ i got i left on your doorstep, too shamed to keep it! If you don't think that's enough then you must be happy to learn i got raped three times! Three fucking times! I spend the last years regretting everything! I still wear the promise ring hoping that you will forgive me and we will get back like we used to, but who am i kidding? You hate me, like i hate myself." I screamed out all the things that needed to get out, i feel relief.

  "You know what." I shook my head. "I am done." I said.

Without looking at him, i turn around on my heels.Wiping  my tears with my palms, i looked up and a confused Eleanor was standing with hands full of bags. My eyes widen, did she heard our argument?

I hope no.. I walk to her:

  "T-thank you, but i must go." I choke out giving a weak smile.

Opening the door i got outside, we were still in downtown so the street where I live isn't that far. I started to walk, making sure i don't trip over my feet. I need to find some new shoes or a glue.

As much i didn't want to think about Harry, my mind went to him. What he said was true, but except when he said i don't love him. Okay he didn't said that, but that's what he meant. I don't know what i meant by 'done', maybe i am done waiting and loving him or maybe i am done with this cruel world.

"HEIDI!" I was snap out of my thoughts by Eleanor's familiar voice.

I stopped and turn around, El was jogging towards me. How can she run in heels?

  "Wha-t happened? Oh god" she pant putting her hands on her knees.

"O-oh eum. Nothing." I shrug lying.

"Don't lie. I've heard everything but I don't understand and i am curious." El looked up.

Shit, she heard everything.

"Now will you tell me?"   I sigh and nod my head. I need to tell someone and get out of my chest, if i don't tell i am sure Harry will or did he already told someone?

"How about we sit here? And you can tell me?" She point a green bench next to us.   I nod my head.

We walked there and took a seat, she turned to me crossed legs and raised her eyebrows for me to tell her.

"Okay, so as you know me and Harry were in high school together." She nod her head.

"Eum, well i was one of the typical mean & popular girl." I said thinking about the the awful stuff i did including the bet.

"And Harry, h-he was a nerd."

"What!?" Eleanor gasp.

"Yeah, i know hard to believe. Oh i have a picture." I took my heart shaped locket out, i remember putting our picture in it. I open the locket and a picture came of me and him. His arms wrapped around my waist and mine around his shoulder while kissing his cheek. His cheeks were red, i loved when he blushed. I smiled before handing to El.

She stared a little bit before her eyes widen and a grin came on her face.

  "Awh, he-he is just So cute." She said and i smiled nod my head.

"I know."

"He changed so much." I nod my head again.

"You guys look so in love." She softly smiled and gave it back to me.

  "We were." I sigh, closing the the locket back and put back into my shirt.

"So..are you going to continue." El put her elbow on her knee and her face into her hand.

"Yea, well as you know i was popular and that time i had a boyfriend and a friend. One night we were in party, playing truth and dare, i got dare. To date Harry-"

"Did you do it?" She gasp.

"Listen, you will know. So i did, as selfish bitch i was. Eventually i fell in love with him, but i can't tell anyone because i didn't want to lose my popularity."

  I looked at El who was carefully listening.

"One day he got me a promise ring, this one." I pointed my finger.

"Oh god, he gave you this?" She took my hand and examine it, like she did in Starbucks. I nod my head,again.

"Oh that's why you both looked so awkward."

"Anyway, t-the next day i t-told everyone, and I still remember how he looked at me. My heart -broke. T-that day was also my birthday. W-hen i came home, you kn-know after." I was full crying now.

  "Shh,shh. Heidi. Its okay." She put my head on her shoulder.

"I-i regret everything."

"I know." She sigh.

  I finally stopped and pull away. Sniffing i wipe my tear, El looked at me and gave me a sympactally smile.

  "Cmon, let's go." She put her hand on my shoulder.

  "Where?" I asked, sniffling at the end.

"Back to hotel." I stare at her like she is crazy.

"Oh no way, i am not going back."   Her face fell into sadness.

  "Please,Heidi. There's no girl in the hotel, it gets so boring between boys. " she pleaded with a puppy face.

"Aren't girlfriends of other boys?" I asked.

  "Yeah, but Perrie is always on tour and Danielle dancing. There's no one, i was finally happy that you came, pleeease!" She said with still a cute puppy dog face.

"Sorry, El. Thanks for yesterday. But i have to go. He doesn't want me with him, so why should i go back." I put my lips into thin line, trying stop the tears from falling.

  "Well, then i guess.. I-i'll see you soon?" El hopefully ask getting up.

  I nod my head and got up as well. She wrap her arms around me and i did the same to her. We move from left to right. I pull away and softly smile.




It is like midnight i think, and it is freezing. I rub my hands together trying to warm them but failed, i entwined them and bring to my mouth. Leaving warm breath on it. I am back to where i was, my knees to my chest. I looked at the lights coming from the buildings, it is friday in downtown, so it is pretty crowded.   Harry didn't want to get out of my head, i still can't believe i saw him today. It's just so unreal. I sigh scratching my scalps, its been ages since i took a shower. I need a walk. I got up and fold the blanket putting it behind a tree. I plaid my clothes with my hand and started to walk to an unknown place.   I blankly stared at my ripped boots, i've found a glue earlier in the garbage so now i won't trip again. My mind went back again to Harry, how he held me when i was going to fall, i wish i could stay in his arms forever. I remember when he used to hold me, full of love and caring. Something i desire now.


I cant seem to get the font right, sorry.  And I have mistakes, too lazy to edit :/   Oh I know Payzer are not together anymore (cry a river) but I just love Danielle a lot. Its not that I hate Sophia(I think that's her name..woops) but I ship Payzer a lot even though they will never in my wildest dream be back together. Yeeeah I love Sophia...

Today was an weird day, I spend it with my sister and her friends from Uni who are like 20ish. I felt so awkward and weird in front of the 'grown ups' and I am socially awkward, making it much worse. But we ate Arabic food, it was delicious! And when I came back everyone were talking about Diana and I listen to it and cried for a good hour.   Yeahhhh that was my day now I have math homework -.-


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