Almost Is Never Enough

"Don't worry I will catch you if you fall" he smiles.
"Even if I fall in love with you?" I ask him
"Only if you promise to catch me too" he says softly in my ear.

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1. Prologue

I remember the first time I walked through the door of my mother’s house with you, the first time you met my mom, you were so nervous that I could feel your hand shaking in mine, I could feel your fast breathing against my hair, and your eyes…your eyes were showing tons of mixed feelings, I could feel happiness, love, nerves and then again love, why love? Because this was back in the days when I loved you and you loved me, this was back in the days were we would exchange kisses under that big tree near your house, when the words I love you had a real meaning, when saying that I loved you was the easiest thing on earth and the way you said you loved me back was magical…

I know it’s long gone and that we can’t bring any of this back, if only I could return to your life…but I just can’t, I have to be right there beside you, looking at you suffering because of me and it just pisses me of the fact that I have to look at you and do nothing…

I miss you and I know in your eyes that you miss me too, distance sucks, and the worst part of it all is that we are forever apart, I’m never getting you back, I’m never going to be able to be in your arms, to sleep right next to you, to kiss you good night/morning…

 I miss your irresistible lips and the way you touched my bare skin, I miss our long walks downtown and the way I laughed at your jokes even thought they weren’t funny, how I would feel like a real princess whenever you called me beautiful, how I would always feel loved and yours when you told me that I was your life…

Remember that day when we were on the beach and you told me that we would be together forever? Well I guess forever isn’t for everyone, forever wasn’t for us, because when everything is perfect and your life is all you could’ve asked for, it all happens the other way round…

I left you, but not because I wanted to, I was forced to, but maybe this was meant to be, maybe the only thing we felt for each other was attraction, maybe this was a teenage love that would be forgotten, well maybe I didn’t love you, maybe I do, but maybe you didn’t love me, maybe you do, maybe we are just stuck in reality and we will never be able to dream again.

And the worst part of it all wasn’t losing me, it was losing you…

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