Almost Is Never Enough

"Don't worry I will catch you if you fall" he smiles.
"Even if I fall in love with you?" I ask him
"Only if you promise to catch me too" he says softly in my ear.

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12. Don't Go...Don't Let Me Go...

My way home was the most painful trip ever, I was sobbing uncontrollably, the tears were falling like a rainy day in London and I can tell you that in London it storms like a bitch.

I run to my room, locking myself up, I honestly don't know what I'm doing...crying over some dumb boy, who would ever want to be with me? 

'Me and Harry are together' those words, those distrustful words were echoing in my mind, and the heartache I was feeling...I couldn't even bring myself to think of anything...I just lean against my room's door and slide until my bum it's the cold ground...my legs automatically hit my chest and my long arms wrap themselves around them...making me burry my face between my arms...

All I could think of was how stupid I was about Harry and how Alex wasn't right for the first time... i should've listen to you...only to you... I whisper to my mind...

'I know' she whispers...

**

I wake up feeling worse than if I was drunk...

'At least you'd be happy if you were drunk' my mind whispers

I shake my head at my thoughts and get up from the floor...

'Ow' I growl

My room was just like yesterday, my school bag dropped in the middle of the floor, my bed perfectly done and everything nice and organized, the only thing that is a mess is me.

My head is hurting, I move to the mirror inside my wardrobe and take a look at myself.

'Awful' I tell myself.

My eyes were surrounded by this big black circles and my lips were shaky and white, my face was pale and my cheeks were reddish from crying...

I huff and walk to the bathroom were I strip down and get in my bathtub taking a long and warm bath...

When I finish this action I walk back to my room again sitting on the right side of my bed taking a look at my nightstand where my book lies along with my phone...

I grab my phone unlock it and gasp.

13 messages of Harry
1 call of Alex
23 calls of Harry

What kind of sorcery is this? 
What does he want from me? 

I didn't want to look at his messages I really didn't...but...oh well.

"We need to talk
-H"

"What Ashley said is not true" 
-H

"I really like you
-H"

All of the messages were the same, but the hatred I feel for Harry, all I can do is delete them, the pain I feel for him, lies, lies, lies. All he did was lie to me, I can't like him anymore, I can't be with him anymore, he's a heartbreaker, and yes I read about it.

And believe me in real life what you feel is way more painful then what you read in books, it's this fear of getting back together, this fear of loving or looking at the person again. And the most painful part is that it was a lie. All a lie.

The kiss. The picnic. But why? It all seemed so real?

Doesn't it always? 

I look at the clock in the screensaver and it hits 7:00 A.M.

I just make my way downstairs, taking my bag with me, and open the door to the outside world...the world were fairytales are only in movies and books.

I text Alex telling her that I'm going to arrive to school late and that she needn't to worry cause everything is alright...she just texts me back saying that she knows what happened and that she will be waiting for me during break time...

I just start walking towards the nearest Starbuck's, thinking of everything that has happened to me, thinking of what a fool I've been, thinking that...oh wait a second is that...oh my god it is...

As soon as I open the Starbuck's door, my gaze locks with the curly haired boy right in front of me...

"Emma" he half smiles, half shouts...

I just ignore him, walking towards the counter...

But I felt his gaze following me all my way there and I also felt him getting near me, provoking my stomach to struggle and my legs to start shaking...he places his lips close to my left ear and whispers...

"I'm sorry" 

And that's when I loose it, I loose it cause all I feel for him, all I can feel for him right now is...hatred. 

"Can we talk outside?" I ask him politely trying to contain myself from screaming at him...

"Yes" he smiles...but little did he know that his smile was soon to disappear...


**

As soon as we get outside, as soon as we are away from everyone, from everyone...he starts being the little liar that he is...

"Emma, me and Ashley we..."

But I cut him off before he lies...

"I don't understand Harry, I really don't, I don't know why you're explaining yourself to me...really I don't we are nothing but friends...oh wait we aren't even that..." I snap...

His expression is blank but he soon starts saying all of his bullshit.

"I like you Emma, I really do, but you don't understand..."

"If you really liked me, the way I liked you..." Ouch"You would never date her" 

He steps closer and I start feeling nervous...

"Liked?" He asks, his emerald green eyes were so intense, so full of sadness... 

Concentrate. Fff...

"I couldn't look him in the eyes and tell him...

"Yeah" I say turning away...

But he grabs my chin and pulls me closer to him with his hand on my hip...

"I know that's not true" he says softly...

I know you know that, but I don't wanna like you Harry that's the problem.

"Well then I will deal with that Harry, cause all I feel for you right now isn't even close to liking" I tell him, not turning my eyes from the cold hard ground...

"You don't mean that.." He mumbles against my hair...

"You're right I don't, but one day I will, please let me go..." I take a step back trying to scape from his embrace...his eyes were shinning like to beautiful diamonds...

"Please Emma" he says taking my arm in his soft hand...

"Bye Harry" I tell him...running away from that horrible place, to the school gates that are just a few blocks away.
 

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