Like a Slap in the Face

Oliver Wood is an insufferable good-for-nothing twit.
All he does is swagger around, flaunting his Quiddich title and show off his godly good-looks. Wood is the sort of person who is bloody gorgeous and knows it. He isn't afraid to show it off either. And boy does he make an effort of strutting around, sending his petty fan girls winks. He can't keep his self-obsorbed, nosy attitude to himself, either. And the toerag can go die in a hole full of nagging, strict Percy Weasleys and sharp basilisk fangs for all I care.
But don't get me wrong, I love the guy.

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5. Snape?!

"Flint, just get back to work and stop trying to feel me up, you bloody pig!"
I whisper-shouted. Throughout the class, Flint had tried time after time to touch me. At some pointed he had groped my backside, which earned a slap across the face. Professor Sprout didn't even yell at me! In fact, I think the woman smiled. 
I continued to snip at the small bush in front of me, cutting off branches, upon branches, trying to reach the center. But with each snip I made, two branches would grow back.
As I was almost there, a hand touched my thigh. Without thinking, I cast my Alicia Charm on his own plant. 
"Ow!" He shouted, jumping up, bush clamped onto his hand. "Get it off!" Laughing sounded from the students among us, pointing at the dancing Marcus Flint. 
In his struggle with the plant, he had tripped over several students, killed three bushes, destroyed five pots, and earned one big detention. I it was funny watching him attempt to blame it on me. My now-peachy hair had given me quite an innocent look, may I say. 
Ahh...lunch. Glorious food. I'll defiantly need it. After all, I have double potions next with Wood, Slytherins, and bloody Snape. Just dandy. 
Today I sat with my beautiful Alicia, cheery Angelina, and oh-so-innocent Katie. 
"Alright I want the bloody details." Alicia hissed. 
"We hear that you are, indeed, a virgin." Ang stated. 
Katie nodded. "You haven't done the deed?!" 
I majorly face-palmed. Of course the news had been spread so quickly. Ill have to hurt Wood later. 
"Yes, I am." I sighed, stirring my soup around. "My phsycotic bestfriend made sure to let the world know."
"Please tell me you've at least snogged someone." Leesh said, exasperated. 
"Of course." I shrugged. "Remember Kyle Mack?" 
"The douche who broke your heart?"
"Yeah, that one." 
Kats looked at me thoughtfully. "Was he the one Oliver walked in on you with?" 
I felt my face go red at the memory. We had been snogging in a broom closet at half past one. I had both legs wrapped around his waist and it was...quite intimate. His shirt had been askew...and stuff. Leave it to Oliver Robert Wood to walk in on that closet in the middle of the night. His excuse was that he was on his way to the kitchens when he heard strange sounds. 
Despite all his wonderful traits, Oliver can't keep something like that to himself. He found it so halarious. One minute he was teasing Kyle, the next he's getting detention for braking the blokes arm. Apparently, he resorts to muggle violence when angry.
"Yes." I mumbled, crossing my arms. "Anyway...today Flitwick let us invent our own charms." I grinned. "I named mine the 'Alicia Charm'." Leesh gave me a strange look. "It's pretty, pink and vicious." I explained. The girls nodded in understanding. 
"Aye, Strange!" Called a voice. I looked down the table. Of course the bloody voice had to belong to Raquel. "Is it true you've never–"
Before she could finish, I turned my hair a dark red and gave myself black eyes. I opened my mouth slightly, revealing my pointed teeth. 
"Finish that sentence. I dare you." All I got in reply was a high pitched scream. "Anyway," I turned back to my friends, teeth normal, eyes blue and hair a blue, once more. "Oliver is dead by the way. Next time I see that sorry excuse for a Quidditch Captin, I'll tear his eyes out." 
Katie grinned, patting the top of my head. "That's my girl."
Angie just rolled her eyes. "Alright, I'm not bailing you outta detention, though." She shrugged. "You can't go a day without the bloke, let alone kill him. It's not a huge deal, either." 
"The Slytherins sure think it is." Leesh muttered, nodding her head in the direction of them, where they were making very inappropriate noises/guestures. 
"Exactly! Slytherins. It's not a big deal, babe." Ang smiled. I shrugged and gave her one in return. 
"That's still not going to stop me from hurting him." 
"Hurting who?"
Speak of the devil. Oliver skipped up to us girls, throwing his arms lamely around Kats and I. 
"You." Leesh smirked. 
Oliver backed up imeadiately. "Whoa, whoa. What did I do this time?" He asked cautiously. Slowing, I drew out my wand. 
"Take a glance at the Slytherin table, Wood." I hissed. He turned to see the group still making the sounds/guestures. 
"Oh...that." And with that, the giant Quidditch Captin fled the great hall. 
"Idiot..." I muttered, aggressively eating soup. 
After about five minutes of silence, Katie let out a squeal that shook the Great Hall. At once, she lept up and grabbed my arm, towing me away. Well, not before I could latch onto Leesh and Angie too. 
"Kats–where are we–" Angie stuttered, as Katie shoved us into an old, abandoned classroom. 
"Guys...I have another theory!" She cheered, and started dancing. The three of us groaned. 
"Alright," started Alicia, "what's this one about? We've already heard theories about pets, boys, the twins, Quidditch, feet, dating, babies, and Raquel." 
Angelina had begun to massage the bridge if her nose. I just sat on top of an old desk. 
"This one is about relationships." Katie stated. "Delly, I know who you're going to marry!" She declared. "You will fall in love, get married, and have the cutest babies! All of them will be named Katie, and you'll live happily ever after." 
"Oh really? And who's this guy?" Asked Leesh, grinning. I honestly don't even understand how Katie's mind works. We all know that I'll be that old, creepy cat lady, that lives at the end of the street. 
"Guess!"
"Josh Hubburt?"
"Mathew Brown?"
"The Patil guy?"
"Marcus Flint?"
"Kyle Mack?"
"Fred Weasley?"
"George Weasley?"
"Snape?"
I gaped at my friends.
Snape?
Weasley?
Weasley? 
Mack?
Flint?
Snape?
Don't even get me started on the Patil guy. 
"What did you guys eat this morning?" They shared looks. 
"You were all wrong!" Squealed Katie, latching onto Angie's arm. "Wouldn't her and Oliver make cute babies?!"
Imeadiately, my eyes grew wide. 
"That's like saying Fred and George are a cute couple." I said, gagging. "Leesh, back me up, please?"
"Actually...I can see you two together."
"You're crazy. Angie?" 
My black friend shrugged sheepishly. "It would be an adorable book!" Katie started jumping. "The two bestfriends fall in love, but are tragically pulled apart! (Because the story must have some plot!) But then in the end they find eachother and have babies!"
"What is it with you and babies?" Alicia laughed. 
"I really want a Katie Jr, people!" 

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