When We Run

Your life can change in a heartbeat.
I walked downstairs and when I came back, everyone was dead and everything was over. But I survived and I ran.

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29. 29.

We all sit together in the living room the next day. Evan sits in the corner of the room, scowling at the ground but my mom, Jane, Sam and I all sit on the couch, chatting and laughing. I told them that I was leaving and they all took it well. They understood. It's only early in the morning right now and I'm going to leave when it starts to get dark because I won't be spotted as easily.

The day goes too quick. Way too quick. I want to leave but I'm still kind of dreading it. What if I don't come back? I said my goodbyes. It was hard saying goodbye to Jane even though I've only known her for a couple of days. I'm so grateful to her that I can't describe it.

It was really hard saying goodbye to my mom. We just got each other back and now I might not see her again. We whisper over and over how much we love each other and she tells me to come back and I promise her I will. Never in a million years did I think it would come to this.

Evan doesn't even try and say goodbye so I go from their room into Sam's. It was by far the hardest saying goodbye to Sam. I may not have always appreciated it, but he is my everything. He has seen my at my complete and utter worst and never cares. I still remember when he was a scruffy haired skinny tiny high pitched voiced little twelve year old. I still remember when I was a little innocent twelve year old. I remember when he learned things before me and had to tell me. I remember our sleepovers when eleven pm was late and our Skype calls to each other at three am when we were meant to be asleep. Most of all, I remember him always being there and me always being there for him too.

I pull back from our hug, looking at him. We're suddenly grown up but I can still see how unconditional everything is with us. He gives a weak smile.

"Tell me this isn't the last time I'll see you." I say, a tear slipping down my cheek.

He grins, but there are tears running down his face too. "No way."

I laugh a shaky laugh. "I love you."

He hugs me tight. "I love you too."

I give him one last smile as I walk out of the door and take a minute to just sit down on the couch and cry. What if that was the last time I saw him? What if that was the last time I'll ever see my scrawny, sarcastic, funny best friend?

I sigh, wiping my eyes and getting ready to climb the stairs and leave when I hear one of the bedroom doors open. Evan stands, leaning on the doorway, his shirt off. I still marvel at how beautiful he is, but I try to push the thought out of my head. I just look at him expectantly.

"You're going without a jacket?" is all he says, dryly.

I shrug.

He sighs. "Come on, I'll get you one."

There is not an ounce of care in his voice, but I follow him anyway. I perch on the edge of the bed as he looks for a jacket. It's weird how awkward this is. Neither of us are being our usual selves with each other, we've got this false wall between us. I look at the bed and I can't imagine us both sleeping in there together.

"Here." he says bluntly, chucking me the jacket.

I catch it, getting up and going to the door mumbling a "thanks" on my way out.

"Wait." he says, sounding awkward.

I turn around, raising an eyebrow. "What?"

Suddenly that wall is gone. On his side anyway. He walks over and leans in to kiss me, but the wall isn't gone on my side. I step back.

"It would be easier if we... didn't do that." I don't meet his eye.

"Oh." he sounds dissapointed. The wall returns and he speaks bluntly again. "You're probably right. Bye, I guess."

"Bye." I mumble and rush out of the room, running up the stairs and out into the cold night.

 

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