Like an illusion

Like an illusion (intro)
Intro: You're a 18 years Justin bieber's fan . You graduated from high school 2months ago. You're originally canadian but you live in California. You don't have any friends and cody ,your cousin, is the closest person to you. He's your age and you've been best friends since you were in diapers. He has a crush on you but he's never told u. You think of him as a friend and nothing more.You're suffering from a rare psychological disease . You have illusions from time to time depending on your mood. And it's always related to tour thoughts and feelings. Once you have an illusion You forget about everything around you and just live in the illusion like if it's reality.


16. In pain

"Don't be afraid , i won't let him hurt you , everything is gonna be alright" cody said on the phone. You sighed and pretended feeling alright. After you hung up with him you jumped on your bed and couldn't stop thinking about your dad and what would he do with you. 

"YOU'RE SO FUCKED UP YN . I'M GONNA TEACH YOU HOW TO OBEY" you suddenly heard a loud shouting. "Calm down mr. YDN.. Calm down" you heard the nurses voice getting closer to your room. Suddenly the door opened aggressively and your dad rushed in. His eyes were red, full of anger and you could tell he wasn't up to something good. You got paralysed and you couldn't think or move or anything. He pulled you from your hair getting you off bed to the floor. He started beating you and slapping you and all you could do was scream. The hospital's security came running as they tried to separate him from you. Finally they succeeded and they pulled him outta your room but before he got out he looked at you and said 

furiously, "i'mma teach you how to obey me... I'll come for you YN " . Then he was gone. 

His words were like a bullet that passed thro your chest , they threw terror and fear in your soul and since then you couldn't stop thinking of what he would to you. 


You spent that day crying without stopping , you refused to eat or drink and you just kept crying. At night, you went to the bathroom , you looked at the mirror. You moved your hand slowly across your red cheeks , acknowledging the bruises under your eyes and near your lips. You cried even more as u saw what your dad has done to u , you couldn't bare looking at the mirror for more than 5 seconds then your eyes fell on your arms. You saw your dad's fingers' trace , it was blue. You moved your hand slowly to it and once u touched it a loud moan escaped from between your lips , it hurt a lot. You leaned on the wall behind you and slowly went down to the floor. You curled up in a ball and stuck your face between your knees crying your eyeballs out. 

You felt so weak and you hated that. You were so sad that your own dad has done this to you. You thought that he was supposed to protect you not beat u himself. You were suffering from both physical and psychological pain. You didn't call cody and tell him tho. You just wanted to have time for yourself. 

After few days your dad got in jail and your mom blamed you for that. She even said that you're not her daughter anymore. Her words hurt for just a sec not more. There were no big difference between her difference and her absence. 

Thro that week , not a night had passed without you waking up in the middle of the night screaming from a nightmare. You always saw your dad coming after you to kill you or locking you in a dark room and beating you up. The nightmares were terrifying and you needed someone beside you to hold you , make you feel safe and take care of you. Cody was the one. He was always there , holding you , giving you long warm hugs , making you feel safe . He even slept over for few days when the nightmares were intense. He used to wake up on your screams in the middle of the night , he used to run to you , hold you in his arms and rub your back making you feel safe so that you can go back to sleep. You didn't stay in this condition for more than week. You believe it felt like a year tho.

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