Like an illusion

Like an illusion (intro)
Intro: You're a 18 years Justin bieber's fan . You graduated from high school 2months ago. You're originally canadian but you live in California. You don't have any friends and cody ,your cousin, is the closest person to you. He's your age and you've been best friends since you were in diapers. He has a crush on you but he's never told u. You think of him as a friend and nothing more.You're suffering from a rare psychological disease . You have illusions from time to time depending on your mood. And it's always related to tour thoughts and feelings. Once you have an illusion You forget about everything around you and just live in the illusion like if it's reality.


30. Fear


your PoV;

I stood there thinking for what seemed like forever. The night was getting darker and the wind was blowing hard. The sound of the tree branches being moved by the wind and the leaves being flown and sent away .. It was all scaring me. 

The cold breeze hit my body sending goosebumps all over my arms. I crossed my arms rubbing them with my palms in attempt to get warmer. 

Finally , i gathered all my courage and decided to step inside. I took a deep breath and swallowed my fears then my legs moved forward taking small steps inside. 

I stood there studying the place , it was pretty hard to do so as the park was dark and the only light was the moons light, my eyes did its best scanning each and every corner. After that i was sure i was the only one in the park. I saw a swing and i thought why not go sit there ..

I walked to it and sat on there. My right hand holding the rope and my head resting on it while my feet were on the ground moving the swing slowly back and forth. 

After about 5min i relaxed and my fears were kinda gone. I started rewinding my whole day. I had flashback from today's morning. I saw how much happy and excited i was when cody gave me the tickets. Then i saw how much disappointed and sad i became by the end of the day. Tears gathered in my eyes and started streaming down my face slowly. 

I was feeling sad , hurt , disappointed , self pity ... Should i complete ? Or that's enough ? 

I also had that strange feeling of fear, it wasn't because of being alone at night , it was because of something i thought i got rid of it. Yeah it's because of my ILLUSIONS. 

Every time i got depressed or sad , i'd start having illusions and right then , i couldn't be more depressed. I wasn't sure Sam would let me stay at his place if i got illusions again , he'll probably send me back to the hospital and i would spend the rest of my life there. I was so afraid. I didn't want this to happen, i didn't want to stay depressed in order to avoid having illusions but it wasn't in my hands . I couldn't control my emotions and feelings. 

I was staring at the ground when i heard footsteps. My heart skipped a beat and i got paralyzed. The swing isn't moving anymore and it's all silent. My heart beating and the footsteps were all that could be heard. 

I raised my head a little but i immediately regretted it. I saw a tall figure , obviously it was a guy, a well muscled one. I couldn't see his features in the dark. Unluckily, the swing was right in front of the park's entrance. 

My mind was blocked and i couldn't think straight. What if he's some sort of a kidnapper or a drunk guy ? He could kill me or rape me. Fear was running in my veins again. 

I was actually surprised when he made his way to a bench in the corner. His back was facing me. I sighed in relief silently. Now i'm sure he's not gonna hurt me , i mean he had the chance to do so few seconds ago but he didn't. 

He started mumbling things like "i'm an asshole.. I don't deserve them" and other things but i couldn't understand it. The guy was blaming himself. I made sure to stay silent so that he won't notice my presence. 

After about 15 min of my silence and his nonsense mumbling .. You won't believe it but i started feeling sleepy. I'm a human .. We need to sleep. I thought of waiting for him to leave then i could go and sleep on that bench. I couldn't go back home , i didn't know how would cody react after what i've done to him.

*phone ringing* 
"Shit" i mumbled under my breath as i quickly grabbed my phone outta my pocket and closed it not bothering to look at the caller ID. I was sure then that he had heard it and noticed me. 

Unfortunately, i was right. I heard footsteps coming closer and closer. I was so scared and there was nothing left in my hand to do about it. I just held the robes tight with both my hands , lowered my head as if i was staring at the ground but instead, i shut them tight. 

I was tensed , Super nervous and scared. The footsteps kept coming closer and closer then it stopped. I guess he was right in front of me. I was about to wet my pants from frighten. Shit ! It seemed like a horror movie. 

"H-hi" the guy said. Wait ... This voice. This's familiar .. No no this couldn't be him. I raised my head opening my eyes slowly only to look at ... Him. Oh. My. God !!

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