Summer love

The love of his life- One summer- One band- One decision
Niall is writing letters to his former partner Jennifer. He's heartbroken and is trying to explain to Jennifer why he had to do what he did. Niall knows there will never be a good enough explanation, but it's worth a try.

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4. But we have to say goodbye..

Dear Jennifer,

I've been thinking, about the last letter I sent you. I maybe was rushing a bit. Maybe I should have waited to tell you that I love you. I'm really sorry if I offended you or upset you in any way. But, as I said, I've been thinking and maybe we were right to part. Maybe it is time to say goodbye. I won't forget you, I promise ! Since we have parted it has been horrible, but then again it always is. I really hope I didn't hurt you too much. I feel so horrible for doing what I did. Now, without you, it hasn't really done any good but it hasn't made anything worse. Just sadness and depression for weeks and weeks and then that's it ! No injuries, no deaths, no casualties ! I'm not saying that there was no harm done, because there was. I felt it too. I wish I could take it back, really I do. I'm not going to tell you lies just to reassure you, just the truth. You deserve nothing but the truth. I don't know about you but I haven't got a good nights sleep since we parted, I've not been eating much either. I just haven't been hungry, the boys are starting to notice and are worried about me. Louis wants me to see a psychologist ! I just need a opportunity to tell you why I did what I did. I know that for the first two weeks it must have been hard, keeping you a secret, hidden from the world. It was quiet then. But then the media caught on, you got loads of hate and you even had to delete facebook. I'm really sorry, I'm to blame for this, all of it. I should've called you more, cheered you up more and spent more time with you. With the tour and everything it was tricky. Then just as the hate started to die down I was made to choose. I had to choose between my career and you. I, stupidly, chose my career. Did I make the right choice ? I still ask myself from the minute I wake up to the minute I fall asleep. That's the truth, I promise. Now you know the truth I won't have a weight on my shoulders, but I'll still have my conscience with me, doubting me all the time. It's telling me I'm the devil who has destroyed an Angel, torn their wings, I'm a demon, I destroyed you ! I am terribly sorry...

From Niall

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