Akatsuki Kids

Tobi snuck into Konan’s room, he went through her belongings and found an odd bottle that said in big bold letters DO NOT TOUCH, but knowing Tobi, he grabbed it and went to an Akatsuki meeting with it, during the Akatsuki meeting he opens the bottle and sprays every one of the Akatsuki members with it, turning them all into kids, including him. Now they have a big problem, they don’t have a cure; they all head to Konoha and find refuge while their leader pays a visit to the Fifth Hokage Tsunade. Trouble, drama, and a hint of romance fills the air on Konoha…will they ever find a cure or are stuck as a kid forever.

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2. The Plan

The Akatsuki members now sat in their assigned seats, minus one as an extremely beaten up Tobi lay sprawled on the ground, twitching ever so slightly. Pein stood up in his chair and laced his hands together behind his back; he lifts his chin up and straightened his posture, a deep frown etched on his slightly chubby face.

“Now, my fellow Akatsuki, it seems we’ve been turned into our six year old selves…all thank to Tobi. To add to that, we have no antidote for this,” Pein announced, looking over at each and every one of the Akatsuki members.

“You think we don’t fucking already notice!” Hidan shouted, his voice rising to a slight squeak. Pein turned and glared at him, or what he could muster. Still, it made Hidan shrink back in his chair and stay quiet.

“Yes, I can see that. Now, moving on, I need a few ideas that could possibly turn us back to our original selves,” he said, looking around the room to every Akatsuki member. Some were deep in thought, some just looked away while whistling at it, and some just sat there, arms crossed and blanking looking out in front of them. Pein sweat-dropped that these, by this rate, were never going to be back in our original forms, he thought and turned to his partner Konan.

Konan sat there looking impassive at him, she knew what he was thinking as she stood up from her chair to face the other members, “listen up, we need ideas for us to get back to normal, if you aren’t going to cooperate with us, then you should be more than happy to stay in the forms you are currently in now,” Konan stated. “So, if you have any suggestions at all, we would more than happy to hear it.”

Everyone around the table started looking at each other, daring one or the other to talk first. Then Kisame spoke up, finally breaking the agonizing silence. “Why don’t we just splash water on ourselves, it always worked in the movies,” Kisame suggested, shrugging his shoulders. Everyone slowly turned to him, visibly face palming at the idea he came up with.  “What? You said any suggestions, didn’t that one count?”

“Fine, we’ll try that first, someone go and get a bucket of water,” Pein said. Zetsu was the one to go as he abruptly stood up and walked out of the room, in a few minutes he was back with a small wooden bucket full of water. He walked up to Kisame and threw the bucket of water at him in a bored manner and sat back down in his chair.

Kisame sat there glaring at him as he was now dripping wet with water, “Geez, you could have done it to someone else but me you know,” he growled and grabbed the edge of his shirt and started twisting it around to squeeze as much water out as possible.

“You’re the one to suggest it, so you’re the one to get tested on and by the result of it, I say it was a major fail,” Zetsu replied. Kisame just muttered under his breath about Zetsu being a smartass weed thing and that he should shut his mouth once and a while…even though he rarely talks.

“Okay, any other ideas to share,” Pein asked, looking hopeful at the other members, mainly at Itachi as he is usually the smart one out of the bunch. Itachi just stared back at him, his brows furrowed slightly…then he sighed.

“I have one, but I’m not too fond of what I have to say,” Itachi said.

“And what might it be?” Pein urged, leaning slightly over the table, as if it would allow him to hear Itachi’s opinion better.

“Well, I heard that Tsunade is the fifth Hokage of Konoha, one of the three legendary Sanin, she possess monster strength and has excellent medical skills, if we were to go seek help from her, she might know an antidote for us…or, perhaps make one for us,” Itachi suggested.

“Yeah, but if we even step one foot into Konoha, we would be dead before we know it,” Sasori pointed out. Itachi glared his way, clenching his teeth together.

“Yes, that’s true, but we’re little kids now, not full grown Akatsuki members. So, that will just make us look like we were lost and happened to have stumbled at the front gates of Konoha,” Itachi shot back.

“Haha, yeah but one problem, you came from Konoha, so they would instantly know who you are and suspect something. Plus, who said I of all people wanted to go there, what a pathetic idea, because if you think I’m going there where that pink haired bitch is…then forget it,” Sasori seethed out, hints of anger showing on his slightly chubby, tanned face.

Pein sighed and rubbed the back of his temple, both Sasori and Itachi have good opinions, but seeking Tsunades help sounds like a much better idea than what Kisame came up with, plus its logical as well, Tsunade is a highly trained medical ninja and would be more than qualified to know what is wrong with them and find a cure for it. But…Sasori has a good point; they can’t just blindly walk in Konoha and expect a nice warm welcoming. When the leaf shinobi see Itachi, they would defiantly suspected something and that would blow there cover for sure. What a pain, this is going to be more difficult than he originally thought. Pein began to tune back into the conversation that Itachi and Sasori was having.

“Well at least I didn’t get killed by a pink haired kunoichi that is still at a Chuunin level,” Itachi shot back, slightly enraged at the puppet master before him.

“At least I don’t have a little brother that gets molested by a paedophile like Orochimaru and is…well unfortunately a gay bastard,” Sasori said through thin lips, glaring daggers at Itachi.

“Well…wait, what?”

“Okay, okay that’s enough fighting, let’s stay on the topic about getting ourselves back to normal, then after that you can fight all you want,” Pein interfered. He did not, on any circumstances wants that conversation between them to continue, Itachi still doesn’t know about his little brother seeking for power from the snake Sanin and is currently with him at the moment. That matter is for another time; their real matter is trying to get back to normal.

Both Itachi and Sasori turned away stubbornly and grumbled under their breaths. Pein shook his head at this childish behaviour, figures, you don’t know what to do with them, he thought. “Now, I agree with Itachi’s decision about going to Konoha, it is probably our only option in the matter, but I also agree with Sasori. It’s going to be tricky considering that they would instantly know it is Itachi that is a little kids and add up all the other missing pieces in no time. So, I suggest most of us put on disguises, but only the ones that would make people suspect us too much,” Pein said.

“And who might I ask be the ones to disguise?” Kakuzu asked. Everyone looked around the room, each looking at each other with caution. The air filled with complete empty silence, no-one spoke, no-one dared to anyway. Then everyone turned to Itachi, he looked back at them all with a stoic face, hints of annoyance played across his eyes.

“What?” he asked, forcing down the irritating tone that mingled a little in his deep voice. All the members just looked at him with a ‘you know what’ look, but all Itachi did with slightly glare at them and turned away slightly.

“You know why we’re all looking at you the way we are, you are basically the only one that’s stands out and most likely get noticed and get us all caught,” Pein explained.

“You make it sound like it’s my entire fault.” Itachi mumbled out.

“Because it is,” Sasori whispered to himself, making it sound like he’s coughing. Itachi glared hard at him.

“It’s, not your fault at all, we just want to be cautious so we don’t get killed. Don’t forget, were little kids now, were basically useless as much as I hate to admit it,” Pein said. It’s true; Konan explained what the side effects were to the “perfume” she used to make herself look younger, guess that’s why she doesn’t have any wrinkles.

                                                       Flashback

Deidara was in the middle of beaten the crap out of Tobi, biting his legs, stomping on his face, everything. Everyone else gathered around Pein and Konan, demanding an explanation from the two. Pein looked over at Konan with a curious look.

“So…how long do you think it would take for us to get back to normal, if we do?” Zetsu asked, arms crossed and giving her a hard look that could basically scare you away even if he is a kid.

Konan sweat-dropped and casually rubbed the back of her head. “Well…with short amounts of the potion squirted onto you, it would take about five years to wear off-” she was cut off with Hidan started screaming.

“Five years, FIVE FUCKING YEARS, you got to be kidding me; it will take five years for this fucking thing to wear off!” Hidan yelled out, face beating red and puffs of stream shooting out of his ears.

Deidara heard this and pounded at Tobi more, “great Tobi, just great, not only are we stuck in this kid form and have no cure for it, but we are all stuck in this form for five years yeah!” he hissed at Tobi and grabbed him by the throat and began strangling him.

“It gets worse though, the amount Tobi squirted us with…if a short amount  takes five years, well, the large amount Tobi squirted us with would take about…fifty years,” Konan mumbled out the last bits. Everyone fell silent, Deidara stopped strangling the life out of Tobi, Kisame and Hidan stopped shouting and ranting, Sasori, Itachi and Kakuzu stay quiet and impassive and Pein just stared at Konan like she grew another head or something.

Zetsu shifts his eyes around the room at everyone, he slowly brought his hands to his ears and plugged them so no noise to pass through, and then…“WHAT!!!” everyone yelled out the same time. Deidara furiously turned back around to Tobi and starting pounding at him harder, Kisame and Hidan started screaming and running around the room like mad man, Kakuzu and Sasori stared wide eyed at Konan, cresses of anger shown upon their faces, Itachi closed his eyes and tried to summon his Sharingan and Pein just fell to the floor…he fainted.

Zetsu slowly retracted his hands away from his ears and spoke, “is there any other things we should know about the potion, like…is there any side effects, or that it could kill you by using too much of it?” he asked.

Konan nervously laughed, “It’s not going to kill you, but there are side effects to it,” she replied.

“And what might they be?”

Konan lifts her head up to the ceiling a bit and placed her small hand under her chin, deep in thought. “Well…for starters you won’t be able to use any of your Justus,” she said. Everyone turned to her in mild shock.

“What?” Sasori mumbled out, “so what you’re saying is, that I can’t use my chakra strings?” he asked in a slightly panicked way.

“It depends if you already know how to use it when you were at the age that you are now, it includes Ninjutsu, Taijutsu and Genjutsu,” Konan explained. Everyone remained silent; processing all what Konan had told them. Then they all nodded in understanding.

                                                 End of Flashback

“Well, isn’t that it, we just dress up Itachi and get going, I could take you all on my clay bird,” Deidara said, as if it was as simply as that. His blond eyebrow furrowed slightly as he heard Konan sigh tiredly.

“But you’re a child now, you can’t use your clay bird,” she pointed out.

“Who said I couldn’t, I can, I know I can. It’s just…the bird will be a little smaller than usual, because you know…I’m a kid and I don’t have a lot of chakra then I usually would when I was still in my original self,” Deidara said nervously and scratched the back of his head.

“How big can you get the bird to be,” Pein asked.

“Oh don’t worry, the bird will be big enough to fit us all…maybe,” he reassured.

“Then it’s settled, we fly to Konoha on Deidara’s clay bird, once we get there we’ll dress up Itachi so no-one will recognise him. Then I’ll make my way to the tower where I assume the fifth Hokage will be and tell her about our problem, while I’m doing that, you all are going to have to find somewhere to stay and we’ll find a meeting spot for all of us to go to, got it,” Pein said, looking around the room as everyone nodded in understanding. “Good, then let’s head out.”

XXXX

Everyone had piled out of the Akatsuki hideout, Deidara was preparing the bird. Pein and Konan sweat-dropped slightly at the size of the bird, well, at least Deidara got it right about fitting them all on, but it would have to result to everyone squishing together. Kisame and Hidan noticed this and backed away from everyone and also from each other.

“I’m not fucking going on that thing, I don’t want these retards touching me in any way at all,” Hidan stated, crossing his arms over his chest and scolding everyone around him.

“I agree, I can’t stand being close to people, especially all you guys, no offense,” Kisame said.

“Would you rather stay here in you kid forms and wait fifty years for you to return back to normal?” Pein questioned, eyeing the both of them. And of course, it worked, they both sighed and complied.

“The birds all done!” Deidara shouted and jumped around in victory. Yep, he could defiantly pass as a kid, they all thought and sweat-dropped. He rushed over to his partner Sasori and grabbed him by the wrist and started pulling him towards the bird, “you can sit with me at the front,” was all he said. All Sasori did with try and yank his hand away from Deidara’s grip, his face twisted in annoyance.

The two hopped at the front of the bird, Deidara sitting on the birds head while Sasori sat at the neck, then Itachi and Kakuzu hopped on, sitting beside each other at the front part of the bird’s body, Pein and Konan in the middle. Zetsu was in the middled of climbing onto the bird when he turned around, his eyebrow raised as he saw Hidan stand looking glum and annoyed.

“Are you coming, or are you just going to stand there and look pretty?” Zetsu’s white side and black side said, a small smirk playing on his lips.

Hidan scoffed and hesitantly moved over to the bird slowly, then they all jumped slightly when they all heard a bellowing, squeaky voice come from the hideout, they all slowly turned their heads around and saw a flicker of orange move towards them.

“Wait, don’t leave Tobi behind, Tobi has to come to!” Tobi wailed and shouted while frantically waving his hands around in the air and running at top speed at all of them.

They all panicked, Hidan rushed over to the bird and threw himself onto the back of the bird beside Zetsu, then he shouted, “Go, fly, he’s getting closer!” he clutched onto Zetsu’s arm and looked on in panic as Tobi closed in on them.

Deidara pushed as much Chakra as he could in the bird, the clay bird slowly lifted up, but it wasn’t enough as Tobi dived for the bird and latched onto one of its legs. The all groaned and they glared at Deidara.

“What?” Deidara asked in confusion.

They all shook their heads and turned away from him, but Sasori still glared hard at him, pouting slightly in the process. “You have officially doomed us all,” was all he said and shot his head to the side.

Down at the bottom where the legs of the birds were, Tobi clung on for dear life as the bird flew through the sky, he inwardly celebrated in victory for making it on time, any later and he would have been left behind…that wouldn’t have been good. Now all he had to do was keep his grip on the birds legs as long as possible until they decided to land…this was going to be slightly hard, his hands were already sweaty as it is. He nervously laugh in his head and kept a firm hold.

They all sat in content as the bird soared through the sky, but one thing was playing on all their minds…what the Hokage is going to do when they tell her about their situation.

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