Akatsuki Kids

Tobi snuck into Konan’s room, he went through her belongings and found an odd bottle that said in big bold letters DO NOT TOUCH, but knowing Tobi, he grabbed it and went to an Akatsuki meeting with it, during the Akatsuki meeting he opens the bottle and sprays every one of the Akatsuki members with it, turning them all into kids, including him. Now they have a big problem, they don’t have a cure; they all head to Konoha and find refuge while their leader pays a visit to the Fifth Hokage Tsunade. Trouble, drama, and a hint of romance fills the air on Konoha…will they ever find a cure or are stuck as a kid forever.

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3. Camping Problems

“Ugh, when are we going to get there?” Hidan whined for the seventh time that day. Deidara’s was already twitching all over from the irritation Hidan was causing him. He could just not stop for one second, not one and it was driving Deidara absolutely insane, he was on the brink of knocking the Jashin worshiper in the head.

“We’ll get there when we get there okay?” said Deidara as he was concentrating on motivating the bird a little to the side. He was losing chakra fast, he wasn’t use to carrying nine other people while keeping a steady hold on the bird, it takes a lot of chakra, even lifting the bird off the ground takes more than it should. Damn this kids body and its limitation of chakra, I would have no problem what-so-ever if it wasn’t for the fact that, that stupid basketball head Tobi didn’t spray me with that weird perfume thing, Deidara thought.

Hidan frowned at the answer he got from the bomber expert, he hated flying, probably the third worst thing in the world he didn’t like. It was mainly the heights he didn’t like about flying, it made he feel a little uneasy. He shifts uncomfortable in his spot, bumping Zetsu a bit in the arm. Zetsu turned to him.

“Is there a problem?” Zetsu asked, moving over a bit away from Hidan. But he only stopped about an inch away, any further and he would fall off the bird. He inwardly gulped and remained expressionless.

“No, there is no problem at all, I just fucking want to get off the thing and to the nice hard ground where every second I don’t have to worry about falling to my death,” Hidan replied.

Suddenly the bird wobbled a bit, making Hidan leap onto Zetsu lap, arms tossed around the plant man’s neck into a death grip. Hidan shook a bit, and held tighter as the clay bird wobbled again. Zetsu peered down at him with a scorn look on his face. He wanted to move away but the grip Hidan had on him was like a leech determined to stay on, oh how he felt so uncomfortable.

Pein looked over at Deidara who was trying to stay conscious, his face was pale and he was sweating like there was no tomorrow. His arms and legs trembled and looked ready to collapse any minute. Pein stood uneasily and climbed over Itachi and Kakuzu. They both gave him questioning looks but he ignored it and continued his way to Deidara. He was behind Sasori now, he wasn’t too keened on getting around him, but he reluctantly moved around him.

Sasori stared cautiously at Pein and narrowed his brown eyes at him. He leaned away from him so he could get past. He was slightly nerved by the contacted they made but neither said anything.

Pein sighed in relief once he was away from Sasori,  honestly that guy give me the absolute creeps, even as a kid, Pein thought and ushered over to Deidara’s side. He knelt down and peered at his face, it grown paler than ever, like he’s turning into some ghost or something. Deidara panted heavily and trembled more, the amount of chakra he had was now nearly sucked out of him. Pein gently laid a hand on Deidara’s shoulder; Deidara looked up with a weak face.

“Deidara, I think you should take us down,” Pein said, but Deidara shook his head stubbornly and pushed more chakra into the clay bird.

“No, I can keep going, even if it’s only for a little bit,” Deidara replied, but Pein pulled him away from the bird and turned him to face him.

“Listen, I’m not in the mood to falling to my death and neither is anyone else on this bird, so you either bring us down now or kill us all. What’s it going to be?” Pein hissed out, tightening his grip on Deidara’s arm. He could see that the blonde was thinking it over; sooner or later he complied and slowly moved the bird to the ground. Pein inwardly sighed in relief and thanked the gods that Deidara had listened to him.

Once the bird hit the ground, Hidan jumped off almost immediately and scurried away from the retched beast. He began kneeling down and kissing the dirt surface beneath him. “Oh how I missed solid ground,” Hidan praised and spread his whole body out like he was about to make an angel in the muddy ground. Kakuzu shook his head at this and turned away from the disturbing scene. God kill me now, he thought. He was so humiliated; this was his partner, who was making mud angels on the ground, who was supposed to be an S-class criminal in Akatsuki. But right now he is acting like an absolute child…oh wait, he is a child.

Pein and Konan weaved through the entire Akatsuki members and climbed up on a stray rock, making them look more superior. Pein looked down on them all with the utter most serious face he could muster. “Okay Akatsuki, were going to make camp here for the night, then we’ll head off just after sunrise tomorrow, then probably a couple of hours of flying and we would reach Konoha, is that clear?” Pein announced and looked around to everyone. They all nodded. “Okay, Sasori and Zetsu will set up the traps around the area, Kisame and Itachi will get the water, Tobi and Kakuzu will get the food and me and Konan will stay here and set up the shelters.”

“Hey, what about girly here,” Hidan said and pointed at the now slightly sick Deidara who looks like he would vomit any minute, Everyone cringed at the sight of him but turned their full attention to their leader on what he had to say.

“Deidara is useless right now, he basically used all his chakra to fly us this far, so if he exerts himself too much more, he’ll probably die and of course we don’t want that now do we. So he’ll be resting at the time being so he can regain his strength and not look like a horrible prostitute,” Pein explained. Deidara glared at Pein, he was about to open his mouth to protested but he fell over and fell asleep instantly. “Now, get to work, we have about three hours until sundown, that’s when we’ll meet back here, got it?” Pein announced, everyone nodded and rushed to work.

Pein jumped off the rock he was standing on and made his way over to the sleep Deidara sprawled on the ground, Konan came from behind him and gave him a questioning look. “What should we do with him, we can’t exactly leave him here to get eaten while we and everyone else is occupied,” Konan pointed out.

“Yes, I’m aware of that, just place him by that tree over there…” Pein pointed to the tree to his far left, “…and we can get started on putting the tents up,” Pein said, Konan nodded in understanding and dragged the unconscious Deidara to the tree. Once she was there she dumped him there and moved to help Pein.

XXXX

Tobi and Kakuzu wandered through the forest in search for food. But every time they found a deer or a rabbit, Tobi would scare it away. Why did I ever get partnered up with such an idiot like Tobi, Kakuzu thought and sighed loudly, earning the attention of the basketball head idiot. “Don’t Worry Kakuzu, We’ll get that rabbit even if it takes us all day, we won’t give up until we find something for us to eat!” Tobi yelled out enthusiastically and sprint away in hunt for a meal. Kakuzu faced palmed, great, now he scared off all the animals, he thought and slowly towed after Tobi.

XXXX

Sasori and Zetsu were doing no better as Sasori kept ranting about how he hates everything and that he doesn’t want to go to Konoha, Zetsu tried to ignore it but all this talking was starting to grate of his nerves. To think, the emotionless puppet boy can talk like an old granny.

“Why do we have to do this, I never agreed to this at all, I don’t want to go to Konoha, I don’t was to see that pink hair bitch, I don’t want to do anything at all,” Sasori rambled under his breath, crossing his arms over his chest and a deep frown etch on his cute angelic face.

“Do you mind shutting up, god how I wish you were back in your puppet form, then you wouldn’t be so annoying,” Zetsu said, adjusting a hook to one of the traps he had set. Sasori glared at him and stormed over to him.

“What was th-” he was cut off when he stepped on the trap Zetsu had set and flung up a tree and into a cage made of stick and vines. He let out a small yelp and clutched the sticks surrounding him. Well at least something amusing came out of this, Zetsu thought, smirking up that the slightly panicked Sasori who was desperately trying to get free from the cage he was stuck in.

XXXX

Itachi and Kisame were the only ones that were having success in something as they fortunately found a river nearby and began filling the buckets that they made out of wood and vines. Kisame looked up at his partner, “Hey Itachi?” Kisame called out. Itachi looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. “I was thinking, I wonder how everyone else is doing, and do you think they completely messed up or have they had some success in finding food and setting up traps?” Kisame asked, smirking when Itachi rolled his eyes lightly and returned back to filling the buckets up with water, but not without saying.

“I think their doing just fine,”

XXXX

Pein and Konan finished setting up camp, although it took them longer then they thought in their current condition. They were patiently waiting for everyone else to come back. Tobi and Kakuzu were the first to arrive; Kakuzu had an annoying expression on his face and a wimping Tobi clutching at his head. Pein stood and walked over to them.

“So did you find food for us?” Pein asked. Kakuzu just grunted and held up two dead rabbits and a bucket of slugs. Pein looked at the slugs in disgusted. “Are you really serious, I don’t think anyone would go for something like that, you know that Kakuzu,” Pein pointed out. Kakuzu just grunted again and walked away, leaving Tobi to stand nervously in front of Pein. Pein turned his gaze towards him; his glared was hard and intimidating.

“Ah, Tobi’s so sorry, Tobi will try harder next time!” he said hastily and bowed numerous times. Pein sighed.

Then Zetsu and Sasori came walking in. Hidan looked up from what he was doing and started laughing his guts out. Sasori stood there humiliated, covered in mud and unfortunately slime. He had a lot of scratches and cuts on his cute slightly chubby face and his clothes were shredded. “What happened to you, a little birdie attacked you or something,” Hidan joked and laughed harder.

Sasori’s eye twitched and he took a deep breath. He glared at Hidan and stormed over to where Deidara was laying and sat there with his arms folded and a small pout visible on his face. “Awe, what’s wrong, did I anger the little almighty Sasori,” Hidan laughed out.

“Shut the fuck up!” Sasori squeaked out, his pout deepening into a frown. He looked away, he wasn’t use to so much emotion, if he was still in his normal form, and he would have stayed calm and ignored the Dracula looking bastard.

“Whatever baby face, you can cry all you want, but it’s not going to stop me from making fun of you, since you aren’t a dolly anymore, you can’t hurt me,” Hidan stated with a smirk.

By that statement, Sasori shot up and stormed over to Hidan and held him up by the collar. “I might be a child, but I warn you, I can still beat the shit out of you anywhere, any day…got it,” Sasori hissed.

Pein looked at the two fight with a bored expression, he shook his head lightly and turned to Zetsu, “So how did setting up the traps go?” he asked.

“It went fine, a bit annoying but I survived,” replied Zetsu. Pein nodded.

And finally Kisame and Itachi came back with seven buckets full of fresh glistening water. “Hey, we got the water you asked for, “Kisame said and placed them by the bucket of slugs. He looked at them with a horrific face. “Please don’t tell me we’re going to be eating that,” Kisame said, almost yelled out.

“It was the only thing Tobi and Kakuzu could get, plus there are two rabbits but I decided they were going to be for me and Konan, “Pein replied. “Great,” Kisame muttered and trudged into one of the tents, Itachi following behind.

Pein then turned to Konan, “well this was some camping problem don’t you think,” he said. Konan nodded.

“I’m sure it’s going to all work out, once we get back to our original selves, then everything will be the way they were again,” Konan said calmly. “But for now…” she turned to the rest of the Akatsuki. Sasori was still strangling Hidan to death. Kisame and Itachi were in their tents sleeping, Deidara was still knocked unconscious, Zetsu was standing in the middle of the camp looking like a lost cat, and Kakuzu was chasing after Tobi trying to kill him. Konan turned back to Pein. “Let’s just hope we survive all this.”

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