7th of May

Potentia has just moved. She now lives all alone for the first time. She wants to escape the everyday-life, and just be by herself. Caspian is trying to win her heart, but her past is filled with struggles. Will she ever be able to trust again?

We read the diaries of the broken Potentia and the passionate Caspian.

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5. Big words - Potentia

30th of May

Lots of crazy things are happening in my life. More and more of those flowers are growing and apparently someone has spotted me picking flowers, but I don’t know for how long that person has seen me. A few days ago, I went to get some more flowers. The sun was bright and the birds were once again singing their little hearts out. Next to one of the flowers, I found a note. That surprised me a lot and it still does. I had no idea someone else is living in this forest. It was a red note. I had this burned kind of color. I picked up the note and a few words were written in the middle of the note:

 

You’re beautiful

 

I couldn’t stop smiling. I just couldn’t hold it back. Never in my 20 years of life has anyone ever said that to me. I put the note in my pocket. I will keep it forever. Whoever wrote this note has no idea what they have done. They have no idea of what they’ve made me feel. This note gives me a purpose. I had to keep it cool, so I replied with a note asking how the person would know that instead of thanking the person.

A few hours ago, I went to the circle again. The place where the trees form a circle, and where all the pretty flowers grow. It’s my favorite spot in the whole universe. I didn’t except a note from the person. I didn’t expect an answer that soon, but of all curiosity, I went there anyway. I just wanted to see if I had an answer, and I had. The person had replied, asking me if flowers have a special meaning for me since I pick them a lot. Again, I put the note in my pocket. I will reply tomorrow.

 

31st of May

I’ve just arrived at my kitchen. I went to the forest to leave a note. The note says:

 

The flowers give me comfort. I feel protected when my house is filled with them

 

Am I getting too personal? Am I starting to pour out my heart? I’m starting to tell this person secrets no one else has ever known. I think I’m starting to trust this person, and I don’t know if that is good or bad.

 

15th of June

 

All the stories from your past touch me. I can’t believe what you have been through. You’re really strong. I can’t hold back my curiosity; what’s your name?

 

That’s what the last note I’ve received from the person says.

This person seems to be really interested in me and my life. I wonder if this person also goes to the spot in the forest to pick roses. Why did the person go there to begin with?

This person makes me feel safe. I do feel like I can trust whoever it is, and it feels like we have known each other forever. My drawer next to my bed is filled with notes and letters. This is the closest I have ever gotten to a friendship. It must be time to reveal some more about me.

 

My name is Potentia.

 

16th of June

I’m boiling some water to make a nice cup of tea. I enjoy drinking tea at night.

Right before dinner, I went to the forest once again to find a note. It said that the persons’ name is Caspian, which means he’s a guy. I went home and sat at the kitchen table. It’s a guy? A guy who is actually interested in me? I started doubting everything again. It all suddenly didn’t seem so trustworthy. Is this just another setup to break me down? Is this just going to end like it has always done? I have no idea who this guy is. What does he want?

The water has finished boiling. I will probably sit here all night drinking tea, because I still can’t sleep. I’m exhausted all the time, but I can never sleep.

The wind is rushing through the leaves of the branches outside. The branches bump into the window now and then, making it sound like someone is knocking on it. I look at the flowers. The flowers in the vases are everywhere. They’re taking over my house. It’s like I’m not having lots of flowers, but I live at some flowers house. It doesn’t even feel like I live here anymore.

When I was little, flowers were there to make me feel less lonely. To make me feel like, I had friends. Now, it’s like they’re the big group of popular kids, making sure I’m not part of them. No matter what, I still need more of them.

 

18th of June

Whoever Caspian is, he is someone special. All my life, I have wanted someone to care. I have been close to giving up so many times, but he keeps me going. He is the smile on my face. He is everything good in my life. Even though I can’t stop feeling suspicious, I still do believe in him. He is so convincing. He is my purpose to live. I live because he cares, not because I do. All my life I have cared, but finally someone else does.

 

Every night I look at the stars, but all I see is you

 

That is my favorite letter he has sent me. I then asked him what he sees. He said the most valuable treasure in his life.

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