Just Another Dream?

Macy was you're typical High school senior. She's got a group of great friends, Britt, Jen, Tiff, and Gabby. They all are absolutely insane. They also are OB-SESSED with One Direction.
Hopefully you enjoy reading the twists and turns of these 5 girls' senior year. :)

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12. Secrets..

Sooo? See. It's good right? I hope so. Thank you guys all so much. we're at 100 reads!!!  ❤ so omg. I found this game and you pretend to be liam and you get chased by giant spoons, but at game over you get eaten by the spoons o.o here's the link if you'd like to check it out: http://1directiongames.com/liams-spoonful-nightmare.html :) 

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I walk into my house to see my mother on the couch. 

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" she yells.

"I told you, I was going out last night, I told you I was staying over Britt's, and I told you I'd be home early today." I say. "It's like 10:00". 

"So you think you can just do whatever you want? Go where you want?" She continues yelling at me.

"Mom, please calm down. I asked you the other night and you said it was fine as long as I was home before 11." I tell her. 

"Whatever Mace, but you told me you were going out with your friends. Who did you go out with last night?" She asks.

"I went out with Britt and Jen." I say.

"Really?" she asks.

"Yeah, why?" 

"Because Hannah made a Twitter last night." She says. Oh shit. 

"She did?" 

"Yeah, and she told me you had some pictures of you and a boy. And then you had some pictures of them while they were sleeping. Did they spend the night over Brittney's too?" She asks, the vain in her head is like throbbing. She's beyond pissed.

"We were just hanging out and they fell asleep, they never intended to stay. And about that boy, it's Harry Styles, from One Direction. Mom, he's my boyfriend." I say.

"BOYFRIEND?" shit. she's yelling again.

"YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND, ALL YOU DO IS GO OUT. ALL YOU DO IS ASK TO DO THINGS, AND THEN WHEN YOU'RE HOME YOU HIDE UP IN YOUR ROOM. YOU ARE NOT GOING OUT WITH THIS BOY. I FORBID IT." she snaps.

"MOM, I'M 17 YEARS OLD. I ONLY ASK TO GO OUT BECAUSE I HATE BEING HOME, I HATE IT SO MUCH, ALL I DO IS GET YELLED AT. AND ALL I DO IN RETURN IS TAKE IT! IT'S NOT FAIR! YOU GIVE HANNAH AND PJ EVERYTHING THEY WANT. YOU LET THEM DO WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANT TO. BUT YOU'RE SO HARD ON ME. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY?" I shout back. 

"Don't you raise your voice at me. You're ungrateful, you're rude, you're ignorant, but you're also gullible and manipulative. Just like I was. That's why your father treated me the way he did." she says.

"Dad left, yes I know it hurt you, he cheated on you, you cheated on him. You both made mistakes. And you both should be ashamed of yourselves. But I'm not like that. I'm not manipulative. I'm not gullible. I'm smarter than that. I am not you!" I snap.

I suddenly feel a slap across my face. Ouch.. She hit me, she fucking hit me. 

I feel a tear stream down my face. 

"You will not talk to me like that. You're not going to have a boyfriend. And you're not smart. You think you know it all but you don't. As of right now you're a worthless piece of nothing and I can't even look at you." she says.

I go upstairs to my room, slam and lock the door, and cry for a while. I don't even pay attention to the amount of time I'm crying, I just cry and cry and cry. Then I get up and go to my dresser, under a huge pile of books and other items I find my broken CD case. 

I use it when I'm feeling depressed. I use it to make all the pain go away. I use it to cut. 

The world keep bouncing around in my head. "You're not smart." "You're A worthless piece of nothing." 

I take the CD case and go to my hips. I do it there so no one can see. I hide it well in the summer, but that's when I do it most. 

I slide the case back and forth, trying to forget my other pains. I keep going and going. I grab a few tissues to wipe up the blood. Sounds gross. But it's the only thing I can do. Britt knows I used to do it, but she doesn't realize how much worse it's gotten. I cut until I feel the pain is gone. It never truly is though. 

I continue crying and keep cutting... 

I know it's not good, and I've talked so many people out of it. But I tell people I'm there for them to talk to about their problems instead of doing that. But I feel weak when I talk to other people, I don't want to bring them down with my bullshit. 

I go up to the mirror, I hate what I see. All I see is a worthless piece of shit. No one could ever love me, who would love someone so worthless?

I cry more until I can't breathe anymore.

I make myself cry until I get sick, I guess you could call me Bulimic. I didn't used to do it. but then I realized it made me skinny, and all the boys like skinny girls. I'm not noticeably Bulimic, but it's pretty bad.

"1 New Message: Harry❤"

"Hey baby, how are you? We drove past your house because you left your shoes in my car. So I ran up to the door but before I could knock I heard yelling. Call me when you can? xx -Harry"

I text him back quickly: "She knows about us. She 'Forbade' it. I'm not listening to her. Call me please? _Macy<3"

"Of course❤ -Harry"

He calls me and I tell him everything about what just happened. 

"Wow she really said that to you?" He sounds concerned.

"Yep..." I say.

"So are you okay?"  he sounds so worried about me. he's too cute.

"Actually I have something I wanted to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Promise you won't get mad or upset?" I need him. I can't lose him because I tell him my biggest secret.

"I promise." 

"I cut."

The line is quiet for a minute. 

"Harry?" I ask.

"I'm sorry.. I understand if I've scared you off. If you'd like to know the whole reason behind why I started I'll tell you. I'm not going to keep any secrets from you."

"I'm glad you told me babe. But your wrists aren't scarred or anything." he says.

"I do it on my hips so no one can see." I say kind of disappointed in myself.

"Well you don't have to do it any more love. You've got me." I hear the smile in his voice.

"Harry..?"

"Yes?"

"I love you." I say in total confidence. "I know it's a little fast, but I've fallen for you hard."

"Mace, I love you too." He says.

We hang up after talking a little longer and I just lay there for a while, thinking.

Then I hear a knock...

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