A life worth living

My life before I ran away looked perfect, a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, a decorated officer as a dad and a stay at home mother. But if you looked closer you could see the imperfections. You would see that the beer in our fridge would only last for a couple of days. You would see my mother, always trying to keep my dad happy. And you would see the burns on my skin, where the cigarettes had left there mark. But you would have to look hard, to see these imperfections. They weren’t on the surface, they where kept hidden like a deep dark secret.

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9. Why the hell do you care?

Leila’s P.O.V

“WHY THE HELL DO YOU CARE?!” I don’t know why I suddenly started to yell, it was a reasonable question. But whenever people start to yell at me, I just go into attack mode. It’s a bad reflect, but it is a reflect. There we were, standing in a dark park, after sundown yelling at each other.  My body was slowly filling with anger, and my face said I didn’t care. At this moment I looked like I was talking to a stranger. Maybe he could sense that, or maybe he just didn’t want to argue, because he suddenly changed. He didn’t look angry or worried, like he did a minute ago. But he looked like he just gave up, like he just didn’t want to waste his time on me. He sat down on the bench, saying nothing. He placed his head in his hands, and he sighed. He sighed, like I was a big idiot who couldn’t see the obvious. I didn’t want to be the one who would break the silence, so I just sat down next to him without saying a word.

The sky was so beautiful, it was so dark blue it was almost black.  With tiny stars glimting down at us. It was cold, but not freezing. Normally I would start a trash can fire, to keep warm but this is not normal. I think we had been sitting there, for about a half hour in complete silence. “I’m going to go back to the ally, come if you want.” I didn’t want to say more, if he wanted to be angry, he could be angry. I didn’t care, or at least that’s what I wanted to think. But still there is something inside me, which desperately wants to say: I’m sorry, please don’t be mad.

But I don’t ask for forgiveness, I don’t care about what people think about me. I shouldn’t care what he thought about me, but for some reason I do.

I stood up, and started to walk towards the ally. I couldn’t hear footsteps behind me, so that means Jason didn’t want to follow me. I started to walk slower, in the hopes that he would follow me. But nothing, I couldn’t hear footsteps. That hurt, that really hurt. I would never admit it, but I was really hurt. I didn’t walk into the ally, I just kept on walking. Suddenly I stood in front of the hotel from this morning, I just kept on walking right up to his hotel room. He opened the door, seconds after I knocked on it. “Just the piece of eye candy I was looking for. You need to be my date to this gala. ” He took another look at me, I guess I looked sad because he said: “You look sad. Smile! I can’t have a depressed looking date to this gala, nobody wants to see that.” Usually I would have smashed his faced, for talking to me like that. But right now I didn’t care, I just smiled. I really am an idiot, aren’t I?

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