dying to live *completed *

*warning * suicide attempt, drug abuse, and smoking! Mature readers only.--- Kasey Miller has an abusive step mother. Each day she makes Kasey hate herself more and more. If only some one could stop the pain she feels in her heart everyday. If only someone could destroy the suicide thoughts that wander around her brain. If only someone could make her life worth living .

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3. Chapter 3: I hurt myself today

Chapter 3: i hurt myself today. (based off trailer)

 

It  hurts. He beat me the second he found out about Kyle. I have new bruises to go with my old ones now, and new scars to go with the old ones too. I had to cancel with Kyle and now i'm sitting in my bathroom. My razor in my hand slicing my fingers. Blood runs down my hand and the pain became so unbearable my whole hand went numb. i watch as tears and droplets of blood mix together and fall shakily to the ground, some landing on my legs and arms. When i cancelled with Kyle the nightmare became worse. He laughed and said "Thank god!" i asked him what he meant and if we were in person I'm sure he would have spit on me. "I was dared to ask  you out! why would i go out with an insecure loser like you! Although i understand why you're so insecure in the first place, i would be too if i looked as disgusting as you do." he hung up after that. i tried to call again but he blocked my number. If mom were here she would say its his lost then give me a make over to rub it in his face how pretty i CAN actually be.....THAT'S IT!

I stood up and cleaned up the bloody mess i made. I walked into moms room and grabbed her concealer, make up, face masks and hair products. 

 

*The next day* 

 

For once i felt pretty. The face mask helps a bit with my paleness but i added foundation to

make it better. I had on eyeliner and mascara to make my hazel eyes pop and pink lipgloss to make my lips look fuller. My hair was wavy and hanging down to my shoulders, it had a small bump in the front that i kept up with bobby pins. I used a hair treatment to to take out the split

ends and make my curls bouncy and my hair was its original dark brown with natural light brown highlights. i used concealer to cover up my cuts and had on a gray ramones t-shirt. the front was tucked into my navy blue skirt while the back was out and i wore my moms open toed blue pumps. I had shaved and moisturized my legs already so they were soft and smooth.

i walked into school with my head held high and my purse swung freely in my hand. As i walked people stopped and stared and occasionally a wolf whistle came my way. I opened my locker as i approached it and put my bag in taking out my necessary books. Kyle walked up to me and leaned on the locker next to mine. "So are you new here?" he asked obviously clueless. i laughed throwing my head back. He looked at me confused. "Oh Kasey, i only asked you out for a dare i would NEVER go out with you. does that sound familiar?" Kyle paled. "well for your information, i sadly would NEVER go out with you either." i sent him i smug smirk as i walked to class.

 

i was walking to 3rd period when someone tugged my hair sending my falling on my butt to the floor. "Ow!" i yelled snapping my head around looking for the culprit. "sorry! My bad!" the girl said. " I didn't mean to touch the trash!" i glared at her screamed, "what's your problem?" he stuck up her nose and pursed her lips. "You are. Trying to look all quite for Kyle, then when you finally get him in your hands playing hard to get. You're fake and a phony! You know it to, trying to hide you little cutting scars." she took a wet wipe from her purse and bend down wiping away the concealer. I yanked my arm away hiding the scars from sight by putting my arm against my chest. "fake." she spat before walking away. I ran to the bathroom and into an empty stall, locking the door as it closed. i slid down the wall tears rushing down my face. The thing is they didn't hurt me. I HURT MYSELF today by trying to be someone I'm not. That mean witch maybe cruel but she was telling the truth. I'm a fake phony and will NEVER be 

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