Jake and Amir (A coming out story)

A coming out story.
All hell breaks loose in the College Humor office when Jake and Amir get into a serious fight. Not only are there fists thrown, but also extremely harsh words. Jake does not want to be in the same building as Amir, let alone work across from him, so he asks for a transfer to Los Angeles.
Amir is left by himself, he appears to not care that Jake has left. But inside, he's falling apart.
Just as Amir has been through enough agony, Dick Halifax comes along. A man claiming to be a therapist, who offers to help him come out of his shell (and come out of the closet).


2. Chapter Two - Jake

I go through another fun morning, this time not missing the bus.
I sit across from Amir, working on a new script as usual.

"Can I ask you a question? Stand up so I can see your jeans." He says, holding a notebook with a pencil pressed against it.

"That's not a question..." I reply, resting my chin in the palm of my hand.

"Stand." He repeats.


He groans, and gets off his chair. He walks over and looks at my jeans.

"Mhmm." He says as he writes things down.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask annoyed.

He doesn't answer. He puts the notebook and pencil in his shirt pocket then sits back in his desk.
He places his hands on his desk and stares at me.
I continue scrolling on my computer, waiting for him to look away. I doubt he will, I mean knowing him he could probably sit like that for hours.
I glance down at my computer clock. It's 1:00pm which means I get a break.
I get up from my chair and start to walk to the kitchen. Amir still hasn't moved or said anything.
I walk in and see Sarah, getting coffee.

"Hey Sarah." I say with a smile.

"Oh, hi Jake."

"How're you?" I ask, getting myself some coffee.

"Great, how're-"

"Stop trash talking Jake!" I hear Amir yell from behind me.

I spin around, clenching my jaw.

"Amir. Go away." I say through my teeth.

"No! I will not let this bird chirp at you like that!" He yells.

I look back at Sarah, who is walking away. Great. There goes another opportunity to ask her on a date.
I grab Amir by his shirt.

"Ow." He mumbles.

"Seriously, fuck off. Why do you always have to ruin my chance with Sarah." I say pushing him back.

He stands up straight and flattens his shirt.

"Well, uhm according to this here notebook. You ruin your chances with what's her face." He says taking it out of his pocket.

"Give me that!" I say grabbing it from his hands.

I flip through it,

"These are just drawings of what looks to be fried eggs...and a very detailed drawing of a penis..." I shut it and throw it back at him.

"Geez! Don't throw shit." He says attempting to catch it.

I turn around on my heel and walk away, clutching onto my coffee cup. Probably with a little too much force, because the bottom breaks and the coffee pours out onto the floor.

"Damn." I mutter to myself.

I don't stop though, I just continue walking back to my desk.

After work I head home, taking the subway.  I push through my apartment door and throw my stuff onto the floor.  I hop on to the couch and flick on my t.v.
Eventually I decide I should order pizza, large, pepperoni.

I can hear someone at my door, probably the pizza guy.  I get up off the couch an walk to the door, before I can even put my hand on the knob it flies open.

"Ace and Jocelyn, Ace and Ace and Jocelyn from space and Jocelyn astronaut accountants and they're comin' to your face! If you love that shit say; Na na na na na na na na na!"

Amir sings running in,

"Ace! There is an intergalactic  gas penetrating the earths atmosphere! We have to stop it before it kills off all the earthlings!" He yells holding a video camera.

"Jesus Christ Amir, get out of my apartment!" I shout pushing the camera out of my face.

"Ace! We must board our space ship and head to Earth to stop the gas!" He says  running towards the door.

Just as I think he is about to run out he stops.

"Ace what are you doing! There are people in danger! We must go now!" He runs over to me and grabs my wrist.

"No!" I pull my arm from his weak grip

"What kind of space accountant are you?! C'mon!" He pleads.

I turn around and run into the washroom.

"No!" I hear him yell.

I quickly lock the door and sit on the edge of the bathtub.  I put my head in my hands and listen to him pound the door.

"Ace! Ace! Come on! Ace!" He continues pounding.

"Go away Amir." I say, not lifting my head.

"Who's Amir? I'm Jocelyn, astronaut accountant!" He replies.

After what felt like forever he finally left, or so I thought.

I walk out to see him on the couch eating my pizza.

"Missed a good episode of Downton Abbey." He says, taking a bite from the slice he was holding.

I walk over to him, and grab his arm.

"Hey! What're you doing?!" He screeches.

"Leave." I reply pushing him through the door frame.

I slam the door and put all my locks on it.
I then proceed to see how much pizza he left me.  Three pieces.  I eat them. And then head to bed, not looking forward to work on Monday.


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