I Don't Fall In Love

It was May. I was home from my sophomore year of college and I was jobless and bored as hell. I was job surfing when I stumbled across a hair styling assistant job for One Direction when they were going on their tour in North America. What the fuck. Might as well apply.


12. Everything

Tess's POV

I quickly hopped in the shower to get ready for mine and Harry's "get to know you" sleepover. I was the make up clean off my face and tie my hair into a high pony tail. I change into spandex and an oversized pink vneck. Just on time I head a knock at the door. I skip to go answer it and see Harry standing there in a simple white vneck and sweats. He looks so adorable with his hair kind of disheveled. 

"Styles,"I greet him as I shut the door and walked to the bed room. I jumped onto the middle of the bed and crossed my legs. Harry smirked at me and laid on his back, horizontally, with his arms propping him up. "So!"I begin to say,"tell me everything about you."

We start off with learning about each others families and where we grew up and went to school. Harry told me all about his rise to stardom and I told him all about my rise to college-dom which I wanted to quickly fall out of. 

"Why don't you want to go to college?"Harry asked.

"I just never like school at all. My dream is to just travel around and immerse myself in every culture and then eventually just settle down,maybe start family,"I shrugged. 

We continued to talk about our fears and long lost dreams. I told him about how I've always been the flirty rebel in my family and he said he thinks there something more to me than that. I asked about his tattoos and learned what they all meant. I could feel the conversation getting deeper the the night getting older. I could tell Harry wanted to ask about Luke but I don't think he wanted to test my boundaries. 

"You can ask about him,"I whispered while look at my hands. 

"About who?"Harry asked while sitting up and scooting in front of me. 

"Luke,"I whispered while looking up at him. 

"I just have one question and you don't have to answer it if you don't want to,"Harry explained. I just nodded and he continued,"is he the reason...the reason you said you don't fall in love?" 

I bit my lip and took a deep breath and stared Harry straight into those eyes,"yeah..I guess if I ever did fall in love again I almost feel like I'd be replacing him. Like I just pushed every memory we had together aside. Like he didn't matter at all to me. I guess I've always thought it wouldn't be right,"I started tracing the tattoo I had on my wrist,in memory of him, it was his initials and his birthday and day he died,and showed it to Harry,"I got this the day I got out of the hospital. Most people say wrist tattoos hurt the most but I didn't even feel it. I was probably just still numb, from loosing him."

I didn't even notice I was crying until I felt Harry's finger wipe away tear from my cheek. I hated this feeling. Venerability. But I felt like it was okay to be when I was with Harry, like he wasn't going to do anything to take advantage of it. 

"Lets go to sleep,"Harry suggest while climbing off the bed. I just nodded and crawled over and pulled the duvet over me. I turn on my side and see Harry laying on his back with his hands on his stomach. I jus stare at him until he turns his head to me. "What?"he asks. 

"Nothing,it's just,"I pause, contemplating or if I should finish the sentence,"Luke use to lay exactly like that." 

He smiled at me and I smiled at the memory. I slowly drifted off to sleep. 

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