My Rock

Louis Tomlinson is a senior in college. He’s popular, outgoing, and always willing to help anyone in need. Harry Styles is an introverted sophomore who receives constant harassment and bullying because of who he is. He doesn’t fit in, he’s shy, has no friends, and no real family to confide in; the fact that he’s gay doesn’t help matters. He’s just a blip on everyone’s radar, floating by, but a punching bag to those who loved reminding him how much of a loser he really was. When Harry was hospitalized months before for a suicide attempt, Louis was assigned to him through the Big Brother program. Will Louis be able to help Harry? Will Harry be able to let Louis in?

A/N: This is my fist fic. I give it a trigger warning because it deals with self harm and suicide attempts and thoughts… there is no actual death

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12. Wanted to talk to you

A/N: trigger warning in this chapter

                The next day Harry woke up with a smile on his face.  He was still reliving the previous day’s events, and the fact that Louis cared about him made everything ok. Harry grabbed his phone off his bedside table and looked at the message that was on his screen. He read it aloud.

                Good morning mate, have a great day.  ~Louis xx

                Before Harry could exit the message another one came in.

                Meet me by the library before school. I want to talk to you. ~Louis xx

                Harry’s heart began to race.

I knew it wouldn’t last. I knew the world wouldn’t let me be happy. It’s almost like it is not allowed. What possibly could Louis want to talk to me about? He probably doesn’t want to be my Big Brother anymore. He knows how fucked up I am. That has to be it. Harry thought.

                Now that his smile and happiness was gone as quickly as it came, he got up. He walked to his box pulled out the metal and carefully chose a spot that would not be visible to his mum. He carefully made small incisions on his hips. He winced at the pain at first until he saw the trickling of blood come to the surface. Somehow, some way, this made him feel just a tad bit better. He quickly grabbed a towel and hopped in the shower. He cringed as the water hit the fresh wounds on his hips. He never thought he would ever cut himself over a guy, but he did, and the thought of it made the tears that had been welling up in his eyes pour out.

                He arrived at school thirty minutes early so he could get this horrible event over with. He walked into the commons area and saw Louis standing there by the library, wearing a light blue jumper that matched his eyes perfectly with a pair of khaki pants that hugged his bum in the most majestic way. Harry was blown away at how beautiful he looked standing there. He couldn’t take his eyes off of him that was until he saw him chatting it up with some bloke. Harry didn’t know why but it made him extremely jealous. He clenched his fist in anger before calming down and walking over to Louis.

                “Hey Louis” Harry said shyly.

                “Hey Haz” Louis replied before turning to the guy he was talking to. “Stan, you mind giving me and Harry here a minute?”

                “How about let’s take a walk” Louis suggested.

                Harry was terrified. He really didn’t want to lose Louis. All he knew was that he wanted to run. But instead, he obliged and followed Louis out of the building.

                “I have wanted to ask you something since last night.”

                Harry turned to face Louis with a blank expression. Of course he wanted to disown me after last night, he found out one of my biggest secrets.

                There was a moment of complete silence before Louis sighed and continued speaking. “I realized yesterday, when you were here, that something was right. I mean we haven’t known each other for that long. And we did kinda just happen to be put together. But I realized that after our day together last week and then yesterday. Something was missing in my life. I never knew what it was until last night. And Harry please don’t be mad at me or ignore me after I say this, but that something missing was you. I need you in my life Harry. I have never felt more complete than when I am with you. I know I sound crazy. I know you must be thinking this guy is a creeper. I don’t even know him and here he is telling me that he fancies me and wants to be with me. But thing is Harry that it is true. I do fancy you and I do want to be with you. Now I am afraid…”

Harry lunged forward to Louis, pushing him against the wall kissing him. Louis tensed at first from the sudden contact before he relaxed giving into the kiss. Harry pulled away after a few moments and smiled.

“Of losing you” Louis finished then smiled. “What was that for?”

Harry giggled and replied “It was the only way I could shut you up.”

                Louis looked at Harry confused. “So what does this mean?”

                “What do you mean?”

                “I mean, what does this mean for us Harry. Because obviously we fancy each other.”

                “Umm” Harry looked down at the ground. He wanted to be with Louis, but he didn’t want to say it. He didn’t want to have to go through the hell of having to hide a relationship, not only from his mum but also from the people at his school, especially Zack. He knew if he would be in a relationship with Louis that Louis was going to be harassed just like he was. He cared for Louis too much to do that to him. “I don’t know” Harry finally said.

                “Why the hesitation babe?”

                Babe?! Louis just called me babe?! “I just, I just don’t want you to have to experience life the way I do. You are too nice of a person to have to go through the shit. I have already caused you to lose your car and get into a fight, I don’t want to make your life hell, because Louis that would happen.”

                Louis reached out and grabbed Harry by the waist and pulled him close. “Look at me Haz, you have done nothing wrong, you haven’t made my life hell nor could you. If anything you have made me smile when I didn’t want to, you made laugh when I was mad. You have made me just a better person Harry, and that is all I could ask for from you.” Louis pulled Harry a tad bit closer before standing up on his tip toes placing a soft kiss to Harry’s lips.

                “Boyfriend?”

                “Boyfriend” Harry replied before kissing Louis again.

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