My Rock

Louis Tomlinson is a senior in college. He’s popular, outgoing, and always willing to help anyone in need. Harry Styles is an introverted sophomore who receives constant harassment and bullying because of who he is. He doesn’t fit in, he’s shy, has no friends, and no real family to confide in; the fact that he’s gay doesn’t help matters. He’s just a blip on everyone’s radar, floating by, but a punching bag to those who loved reminding him how much of a loser he really was. When Harry was hospitalized months before for a suicide attempt, Louis was assigned to him through the Big Brother program. Will Louis be able to help Harry? Will Harry be able to let Louis in?

A/N: This is my fist fic. I give it a trigger warning because it deals with self harm and suicide attempts and thoughts… there is no actual death

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1. The note

Sirens can be heard for a half a mile away as the ambulance sores down the street heading to its destination. The house on the corner, the one with the bright red door, in the small town of Holmes Chapel, was where they were headed. A call to 999 was issued from the address just minutes before.  A sixteen year old male was found lying on the bathroom floor covered in blood.

One can only imagine the scene of incident. The boy with curly hair slouched up against the cupboard and sprawled out on the cold hard tile that was now stained with red. His mother hovering over him screaming and crying. The sight was horrific, something as one could be described in a horror film.

The ironic thing is, why the dark hair mother all of a sudden was caring. She never seemed to care about the curly haired boy before. Why was it now that when he was laying on the floor in his own pool of blood that she suddenly cared? He had come to her with his problems before and she would brush them off like they were nothing. Little did she know that they were eating at him. Eating at him to the point where he thought that suicide was his only escape.

A couple of nights ago, the curly headed boy, Harry, tried to confide in his mother, Anne. He went to her  saying that he was depressed and couldn’t take the bullying anymore. Ever since Harry came out he was bullied nonstop. The people whom he thought to be his friends were no longer there, and if they were they used him as a punching bag. He got called every derogatory name that there was. He told himself that it would be okay and that it would pass, but it didn’t. Day after day, week after week, the bullying continued. He didn’t know what else to do so he had to tell Anne. He thought that his mother of all people would be on his side, but she wasn’t. When he came to tell her, Anne just brushed it off and blamed him for his own choices. She told him that it was his fault and he shouldn’t have been gay. She told him that he was doing it to himself and there was no way she could help him out until he changed who he was. But Harry couldn’t. Harry couldn’t tell himself to stop liking other guys. That is who he was. He was gay, and nothing could ever change that. When he realized that his own mother was not even there for him, he knew he was alone, alone to deal with all these feelings for himself. He became so overwhelmed with them all so he made a decision, a decision in which he thought would make things better.

The night he first thought about taking his life was a long and torturous one. He scrolled through his twitter and facebook messages all telling him that he was worthless and just needed to end it. The more he read the more he began to agree. He walked away from the computer grabbed a sheet of paper and began to write the infamous note, the note saying goodbye.

Mom,

I am sorry. I am sorry for all the trouble I caused you. I am sorry for not being the son that you wanted. I am sorry that I did nothing but cause you pain. I am sorry for being gay. I am sorry for making you almost lose your job because of being sent home for fighting. Mom, you don’t have to worry about that anymore. I will no longer be a burden to you and Gemma. I am sorry but I had to do this. There was no other way out. I cant take the harassment and being hit and kicked anymore. Tell Gemma I love her and that I am sorry as well. I love you as well Mom, and this is why I had to do this.

Im sorry

Harry

Harry folded up the paper and stuck it in his pocket. He knew the next day would be the day, the day that would end all the abuse, all the name calling, and most of all , all the self hate.

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