My Rock

Louis Tomlinson is a senior in college. He’s popular, outgoing, and always willing to help anyone in need. Harry Styles is an introverted sophomore who receives constant harassment and bullying because of who he is. He doesn’t fit in, he’s shy, has no friends, and no real family to confide in; the fact that he’s gay doesn’t help matters. He’s just a blip on everyone’s radar, floating by, but a punching bag to those who loved reminding him how much of a loser he really was. When Harry was hospitalized months before for a suicide attempt, Louis was assigned to him through the Big Brother program. Will Louis be able to help Harry? Will Harry be able to let Louis in?

A/N: This is my fist fic. I give it a trigger warning because it deals with self harm and suicide attempts and thoughts… there is no actual death

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6. 20 questions

Louis was upset. He didn’t want to let Harry know that though. He choked back his own sobs when he noticed that Harry was crying. All he could think of was that this was like freshman year all over again. He thought he was passed the hurt. But honestly, this innocent hit him harder than he realized. When the cab came Harry got in first. Louis stopped and took a final look at his car, letting one tear roll down his cheek before getting into the cab.

                Harry apologized over and over again. He felt absolutely terrible. Louis kept trying to reassure him that it wasn’t Harry’s fault. But little did Louis know that Harry blamed himself and would continue to do so.

                The ride was quite for the first smile or so. Louis hates quiet.  “Hey, smile love. You smile is beautiful.”  Harry couldn’t help but sneak out a giggle and oblige to Louis’s request.

                “There we go” Louis coaxed. He didn’t want things to fall silent again so he started a conversation football. He knew Harry wasn’t good at it but he wanted to talk about something but anything, but that conversation died out fast and the tension was back along with the silence.

                “You know, I was thinking about getting a paint job anyway.” Louis laughed out wittedly.

The cab ride to Harry’s house was all but quiet after that. Harry and Louis  talked about anything and everything.

“Got an idea, let’s play twenty questions.” Louis suggested.

They exchanged a series of questions such as: What’s your favourite colour? favourite sports team? favourite band? and so forth. Harry was getting close to his last question, when one sparked his curiosity.

                “Ok, my turn” Harry hesitates for a moment. “Miss. Teasdale said that she was going to pair me someone whom had a similar story to me. So, what is your story?”

                Louis wasn’t really sure on how to answer this. He wasn’t even sure that he had a story. He hadn’t even Harry’s story, so he didn’t know what to compare it to.

                “Umm, I’m not too sure. I mean I don’t even know your story, so I really don’t know what you wanna know”

                “Well, there had to be a reason that she paired me with you, or the fact that you decided to be a Big Brother.”

                Louis thought about for awhile. He had never told anyone his story before, well except for Miss. Teasdale his freshman year. “Well, my freshman year, I decided to come out. My family took it well except for my step-dad. He said he couldn’t deal with having a gay son. It broke my heart. I took it to heart that I was the reason that my mom and him got a divorce. To this day, I blame myself for ruining her happiness. I went through a really bad depression. I didn’t talk to anyone; I missed tons of school. I just layed in bed and didn’t want to move. I felt like my life was in shambles. That is when I found my love for music. It took me t a place where I could put all my emotions. I started going back to school and things didn’t go well there. I was bullied. I was shoved and knocked down. It got to the point where the gym teachers didn’t want me to go into the locker room when the other boys were changing. It was pointed out to be some kind of freak.”

                Harry started to tear up. “I-I’m so sorry Louis.”

                “Its okay mate, it wasn’t your fault.”

                Harry nodded empathetically and continued to listen to Louis’s story.

                “I remember one day when it was time for gym, I was about to walk in and a guy shoved me into the wall and told me that my kind wasn’t allowed in the there. I slouched down the wall and started crying. I wanted to just be accepted by people. I wanted to be seen for who I was not what I identified as. Not too much longer after the tardy bell rang and the halls were empty, Miss. Teasdale walked over to me. She noticed that I was crying and asked me to join her in her office. I went with her. I sat there and cried for what seemed like hours. Once I finally calmed down, she asked me what was wrong, and I told her. That is when she told me that it was okay and that I was normal and people just were mean. That is when she told me about this new program she was starting. She told me she would pair me up with someone who I could talk to and just hang out with. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but I told her that I would give it a go for her. Just like you, I met him in the library at the end of the day. His name was Aiden. He was only a couple of days older than me.”

                “Aiden Grimshaw?” Harry asked. He had seen him around the school before.

                “Yeah that is him. Do you know him?”

                Harry shook his head. “No, I just heard of him.”

                “Right, okay umm where was I?”

                “Aiden, you just met him in the library”

                “That’s right. We were both new to this program. In the same grade, so we really didn’t know what to expect.  We decided to go on a walk and talk. We just got to know each other. We talked about everything from school to the weather and well of course music. Aiden drew me out of my depression after a couple of weeks. After the year was over I realized that if it wasn’t for him and Miss. Teasdale, I would probably locked away in some loony bin.”

                Harry flinched at that word. He hated it to be exact. He was just hospitalized in an institution last week but would never consider it a loony bin because he didn’t think of himself as crazy.

                Louis noticed the flinch but brushed it off. He didn’t want to pry into Harry’s life just yet.

                “So I decided that I wanted to become a Big Brother and help others out like me. Save them so to speak.”

                The car grew silent after that. Harry was in shock. Louis was really like him. They were both bullied and had a rejection in their family, and both suffered with depression. The only difference was that Harry still had depression and Louis didn’t and Harry self-harmed.

                The silence was getting to Louis. He could tell that Harry was processing his story. That he was letting things stir around in that beautiful head of his.

                “So Harry what is your story?”

                The car pulled up to Harry’s house. Harry just smiled. “That is for another time mate.”

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