Goin' Nowhere

Because even if it was right in front of her eyes, a large part of Perrie still wanted to believe that Zayn was hers and no one else’s. That those weren’t heart eyes her boyfriend was throwing in his best friend’s direction. Those fleeting touches were nothing more than accidental. A girl can only fool herself for so long, though. So she turned to Eleanor. Eleanor… who’d been fighting the same battle for far longer than she was, seeing the subtle exchanges before she even came into the picture, dealing with the betrayal even if it hurt her because she loved Louis.

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1. Goin' Nowhere

“R-right there, El… Y-yeah, yeah. There.”

A long moan escaped Perrie’s swollen lips as she felt Eleanor thrusting dainty fingers inside her, sending jolts of pleasure through every vein in her tiny body. Arching her back off the bed one last time as she came, the blonde pulled the brunette forward for a final kiss before giving in to the fatigue washing over her. Panting heavily as she laid flat on her back, the smaller girl allowed her eyelids to flutter shut as she felt her lover moving beside her, pulling the covers over their bodies before lying next to her.

It had been quite a while since she had been touched – Zayn always being too tired to be able to do anything except sleep with her whenever he was home – that the stolen moment with the other girl could not have come at a better time.

“I’d almost forgotten what that felt like,” Perrie whispered softly as she turned over to rest her head on Eleanor’s chest.

“What what felt like, babe?” Eleanor asked, unsure of what Perrie was talking about.

A comfortable silence fell over them as the shorter girl buried her nose in the other’s jaw instead, ignoring the question completely as she felt a blush creep up her neck and face, clearly embarrassed that she had voiced her thoughts out loud.

Sometimes, they still didn’t understand how this thing between them had gotten to where it currently was. What had started as a mutual need for comfort had escalated into something more physical... more intimate… in such a short amount of time that even if they tried, neither of the girls would be able to pinpoint how they went from acquaintances to friends to… them.

If Perrie had to take a guess, though, it was probably around the time she and Zayn had finally admitted that they were indeed a couple. From the very first time that he’d brought her to a gathering with the rest of the band, she’d known that something was off. That Zayn had a relationship with Louis that he didn’t have with the rest of the boys.

“It’s in the way they look at each other,” Perrie remembered telling Jade while they were waiting for an interview to start one time.

For a while, she wanted to believe that it was all her imagination. Maybe she was reading too much into things. Maybe they really were just very close friends. Because even if it was right in front of her eyes, a large part of Perrie still wanted to believe that Zayn was hers and no one else’s. That those weren’t heart eyes her boyfriend was throwing in his best friend’s direction. Those fleeting touches were nothing more than accidental.

A girl can only fool herself for so long, though. So she turned to Eleanor.

Eleanor… who’d been fighting the same battle for far longer than she was, seeing the subtle exchanges before she even came into the picture, dealing with the betrayal even if it hurt her because she loved Louis.

She loved Louis and Perrie loved Zayn.

But the two boys would always belong with each other, no matter how much they denied it to the fans, to the other boys, to themselves. Zayn and Louis would always be tied together, and there was nothing neither Eleanor nor Perrie could do.

So they got into this routine. On nights when one would feel lonely, needy, desperate for something – or more accurately, someone – they would go to each other.

It had started out innocently enough – random movie-nights-turned-sleepovers every now and then simply because they both needed the company… the reassurance that they were not alone. But that changed eventually when they both got a little too drunk one night, throwing all sensibilities out the window.

It had been good. But it had also been a onetime thing.

Until it wasn’t.

One go turned to two, to three, to eight… until it just became their thing.

“I think I don’t miss him as much anymore,” Eleanor stated out of nowhere, pressing a kiss on the top of Perrie’s head just because she could. Softly, she ran a hand through the light, messy curls as she breathed in the scent of the one person she’d grown to care for in the last months.

“Yeah?” Perrie responded, more out of habit then anything. She knew Eleanor was just saying that because they were in the moment. They both had the tendency to think they could finally move on whenever they shared these moments. It was a fleeting emotion, but one they did not deny each other the pleasure of feeling.

“Yeah,” Eleanor smiled, pulling the other closer as she finally let sleep take her over.

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