Kiss Me (Louis Tomlinson FanFic)

Emilie never had an easy life. Most of the time, she walked around with a smile on her face, hiding all of the pain. She was blessed when she got accepted into The American Musical & Dramatic Academy in New York. There, she goes through constant struggles, always trying to be her best for everybody. All of her bad habits are recurring until she meets a boy in the courtyard. Cheesy? Yes. But he changes her life in ways she never thought anyone could. And she changes his.

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4. ... LIke You Wanna Be Loved

           After that day, we became practically inseparable. He took me out many times, and his goal for every date was to leave me laughing so hard that I would almost pee my pants. And he was good at it, always telling me funny jokes and stories, or just acting like a goofball. Neither of us talked about our child, except for the basics; like our family and such. It made me wonder if he had a hard life like I did, but I never asked about it. He certainly was charming, always doing and saying the sweetest things. He would sneak up on me and attack me with a million kisses, leaving me with fits of endless giggles.

            His birthday, also known as Christmas Eve, rolled around. I got him gift cards for McDonalds – a significant restaurant in our relationship – and a framed picture of us. I had to give it to him early, due to the fact that we were both not going to be there for the holidays. He was going to England for a few days for his family, and I was going to Colorado to spend some time with James, Ashley, and my aunt. My aunt was very good at picking up on things, and she knew that something had happened that truly made me happy. I explained to everyone that I had a boyfriend, and that we had been dating for a month. I showed pictures and told them about him, smiling the whole times. My aunt liked that he was putting a smile on my face and Ashley liked him because he was British and cute. On the other hand, James threatened to go after him if he ever hurt me, and I didn’t oblige. I knew that I couldn’t judge somebody too early, because that ended poorly for me last time.

            When vacation was over, Louis invited me over for dinner. It must have been take out, because as I said – he cannot cook. When I got there, I saw Chinese – one of my favorites. We ate and told about our vacations, and he told me that he got for his birthday from his family and friends there. After we ate, I took a fortune cookie. ‘Take a chance and trust somebody.’ And my Chinese word on the back? ‘Love.’ So I took that as a message, and decided to tell Louis one of my secrets.

            After he finished his cookie, I ran to his bed and hid under the covers, giggling softly. I could hear his footsteps coming closer, and his chuckling. “Hm, I wonder where Emilie is… She probably went home. Oh well, I guess I’ll go to bed,” he announced, then crawled under the blankets, smiling when he saw me.

            “Now why would I do that?” I asked with a giggle, crawling into his arms once he was settled in.

            He laughed at me and rolled his eyes playfully. “May I help you? I’m trying to go to sleep,” he chuckled, a smug smirk on his face.

            “I want to tell you a secret. So don’t judge me, and don’t tell anyone,” I said softly, looking up at him. He furrowed his eyebrows, then nodded his head and laced our fingers together. I took a deep breath, getting comfortable with my head on his chest. “I’m…uh, I’m bulimic. I have been since the middle of junior year. At first, it was because of stress and stuff, but it started controlling me. And I rarely eat, but when I do, it comes back out. And that’s why it’s so hard to lay with you right now instead of running home to the bathroom,” I explained, closing my eyes softly.

            Louis sighed, not saying anything for a few seconds, just playing with my hair. But he finally sat me up and pulled me into his arms. “Oh, Em… You’re so beautiful in every possible way. You’re so much stronger than that,” he whispered, leaning down to press a soft kiss against my forehead. I nodded a few times, breathing gently as an attempt to calm down and not spaz out over it. A few silent moments passed, until he let out a breath. “Cocaine. I, uh, I’m addicted to it. I have been for a while, and I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble from it. I’ve been to rehab, and I hated it, but I ended up relapsing over this past summer,” he explained, mumbling a few parts as if he was ashamed of it.

            I turned my head to look at him, nodding a few times. “I know. I can smell it on you sometimes,” I said softly, and his face instantly flushed.

            “Oh, God… I’m so sorry, I really do try to hide it,” he told me frantically, hitting himself in the face.

            I shook my head and sat up more, pulling his hand away from his face and into my hand. “Hey, it’s okay,” I said softly, shrugging my shoulders. “I’ll stop if you stop,” I whispered, looking him in the eyes.

            “Really?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows together.

            I nodded a few times, smiling at him. “Sure. They’re both bad and hard to stop, so we should try,” I said softly, and he nodded his head. With that, I smiled and pressed a soft kiss against his lips.

            We talked for the rest of the night, explaining our secrets in a little more detail. I explained that my high school experience wasn’t the best, but I didn’t go into detail. I put in the note that my mom died when I was 12, and he gave me his condolences, then told me that he would have loved to meet her. I ended up falling asleep there in his arms, and he did as well in mine. We didn’t do anything, just slept and kissed a few times. When I woke up, I looked over at him and smiled, then left him a note saying that I had classes. I kissed him, and left.

            Days passed, and New Year’s came around. Louis took me to Times Square and kissed me right at midnight. I felt like so special in that moment, I wanted it to replay over and over again. It did feel magical, and I couldn’t help but smile for the rest of the night. Both of us quit our addictions, no matter how hard it was. I always felt bloated, so I would go for a run. If he felt a craving, we would get ice cream. It seemed like we always had something planned, so we were together almost every day.

            One day, we were lying on my bed in my dorm, talking about life and sharing secrets. “I sing. That’s what I’m here for. I didn’t want to tell you, because then you would have asked me to sing for you,” he explained, shrugging his shoulders.

            I smiled and giggled, nodding a few times. “Yep, I want you to sing for me,” I smirked, sitting up a bit.

            He said he would, but he made me go first. I sang the first song that came to mind, and he smiled throughout it all. When I finished, he sang Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran. Right after I kissed him when he finished, that was established as ‘our song’. After our talent show, we decided to watch a movie. He usually didn’t like chick flicks, but when I put in The Notebook, he smiled and pulled me closer to him. I knew he wasn’t watching the movie, he was watching me. He would wipe the tears off my cheeks with his thumb, and smile whenever I started giggling.

            As the movie came to its last bits, we ended up laying there, both of us half asleep. He kept kissing my head and playing with my hair, while I had his other hand and was playing with his fingers. I sat up a bit and looked at him, then pressed my lips against his. He immediately kissed back, his hands moving to my waist. I dug my fingers through his hair as our kiss became more than just a kiss. His lips and tongue trailed all over my neck, leaving hickies while I returned the favor to him. He pulled me onto his lap and I straddled it, resting there as we had our first hot and heavy make out session on my bed. I didn’t know if it would turn into anything, so I went for it. I started moving my hands up his shirt and he began softly moaning into my ear, but suddenly got up and ran to the bathroom, and didn’t come out for a good 20 minutes.

            I waited for him for the first 10 minutes, but got bored and put on The Titanic. Louis finally came out, his breathing heavy and his face flushed. I knew what he did, but I obviously didn’t want to say anything about it. He went to the kitchen and got soda and a bag of chips, then climbed back into bed and watched the movie with me, completely silent.

            Weeks went by, then months. We remained inseparable, except when we got into small fights. Nina, who was now Jack’s steady girlfriend and my best friend, was always be there for me to help me work it out with Louis. One of us would always end up begging for forgiveness from the other, saying how much we needed each other. It took a day or two for us to get over whatever we were fighting over, but we did.

            One of our fights was prolonged, and I ended up relapsing. I didn’t want to, but my insides were yelling at me, and I felt ugly, fat, and helpless. Unfortunately, Louis was on his way over with roses while I was in the bathroom. He found me and helped me clean up, then yelled at me for doing it. I felt completely stupid, but we talked it out. He spent the night again, holding me and telling me words of encouragement. 

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