In Your Eyes

When Harry falls in love with Niall and allows himself to believe that Niall feels the same way, in the heat of the moment, he does something that just may break them.

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1. What is Love

A/N: So this is not my first major piece of writing. I have written a lot of works that I've not shown anyone. I would like to believe that this is one of my better pieces and I hope that you guys enjoy it and give me lots of feedback! –Rochelle xx 

 

It was just one kiss that tipped his world on its side. Just one touch of their lips was enough to change the way Harry saw the world. The way he saw Niall. 

It was kind of ironic, really, how the most intimate of moments could cause the breakdown of Harry and Niall's friendship. Rather clique, too. Harry hated clique, but clique it was. Niall and Harry had been best friends. Harry didn’t know if they still were, but God, he hoped so.

People had started to notice that something was up with the two boys. It would be hard not to. They were always together. Two halves of a whole. Not in the literal sense of the word, or in the soul mate sense of the word, but more like in the splitting-us-up-would-be-like-unintentionally-killing-us sense of the word. They just fit. They were HarryandNiall. Not Niall Horan and Harry Styles separately, but together, they were HarryandNiall. They were just best friends. As tight as brothers.

They never were anything more than friends. At least not until now. Harry really didn’t know what had changed. Niall was still the same Niall. The same Niall he’d eaten sand with in the sand pit when they were five. The same Niall he’d played football with in the seventh grade. The same Niall who had accidentally broken his arm when they were fifteen and the same Niall he’d been put into a band with. He was still the same Niall. But Harry’s feelings toward him had changed.

He didn’t know how, he didn’t know why, and he didn’t know when. But when it came to falling in love, he guessed that to anyone, those terms were practically non-existent.

Harry and Niall were the stereotypical version of best friends, he supposes, if that even made sense.

They watched movies together late at night and cuddled on the couch. They fooled around together and they jokingly hugged and kissed. Or at least it used to be a joke.

Harry didn’t even want to think back to that fateful day when he had ruined everything, but these days, that’s all that was running through his mind. His sub conscious just kept replaying how warm and soft Niall’s lips had felt against his and how it had felt like fireworks were erupting around them, and thinking about it just hurt more.

+

Harry heard the loud rumble of an engine as a familiar car idled in his driveway, and then he flinched at the sharp sound of a door slamming. He wasn’t expecting anyone, let alone Niall, and his green eyes were wide and surprised as he watched Niall’s blonde head of hair bob up and down as he made his way up the porch steps and to the front door, his shoulders slouched and sagging.

He looked horrible, and just that tiny observation filled Harry with so much hope. Hope that maybe Harry wasn’t the only one struggling with their separation. And then Niall was standing on the porch, his shaking hand steadily rising so he could rap his fingers against the soft wood of the door.

Harry’s heart was just about pounding out of his chest, and for a moment he didn’t know what to do. He contemplated just locking himself inside his bedroom and pretending he wasn’t here, because he really didn’t feel like facing Niall right now. But he owed Niall this much, if nothing else, so he gulped in a few deep breaths and steadied himself against the kitchen table. Niall beat his fist impatiently against the door and Harry smiled in spite of himself. That was just like Niall to be impatient even in the most complicated situations.

Harry willed his legs to move so he could open the door for the older boy, but it just wasn’t happening for him. He was glued to the spot, his heart beating erratically and his breathing ragged as he thought of all the possible ways this meeting could play out. He half expected Niall to get tired of waiting and just barge into his house, but he stood corrected.

He ran his hand through his hair in an attempt to calm himself and heard Niall sigh to himself and mutter something unintelligible under his breath. He took a few steps closer to the door, his shoes clicking against the tiles the only sound in the silence since Niall had stopped knocking, and saw Niall retreating toward his car, his eyes visibly watering. It broke Harry’s heart, even though he knew he was the reason for Niall’s tears.

Harry’s heart rate sped up, if that was even possible, and he panicked. He lunged for the door, surprised at how easily his legs were moving now that he needed them to. He hadn’t been particularly pleased, or ready, to see Niall five minutes ago, but now he was desperate to talk to him before he was lost forever, and the door slammed against the frame in his desperation.

Niall didn’t even flinch, and that made Harry sad. Niall had to have heard the door bang open, and maybe he just didn’t want to talk to Harry now. Harry wouldn’t blame him, but maybe all hope of fixing their friendship was lost.

“Niall...” Harry choked through the huge lump in his throat and he almost collapsed into a heap on the ground when Niall didn’t react, only hopping into his car like Harry wasn’t even there.

He reached out to grab onto Niall’s arm for dear life, and when Niall jerked away from his touch, Harry could feel his heart breaking all over again. He felt like he’d been physically zapped by Niall’s rejection, and he was ready to break.

The only thing stopping Harry from breaking into sobs right then and there was the fact that he didn’t want Niall to see him upset and feel bad for something that was entirely out of his control. But then he couldn’t help it anymore. A flood of memories gushed into Harry’s mind. Memories of him and Niall. And the thought of that being over, of no more memories being made between the two; it brought Harry to tears.

God, Harry was such a dick. Why did he have to ruin everything? Why did he have to admit his feelings to Niall? Why did he have to fall in love with Niall in the first place? Maybe it would have been easier, less painful, if Niall had been involved with someone already. Maybe seeing Niall so in love with someone that wasn’t him would help him rid his feelings for Niall. But then Harry realised that he didn’t want that. It would only make things more painful than they already were.

He felt the tears leaking from his eyes and cascading down his cheeks before he even realised he was crying. He felt so weak and stupid, curled on the floor while crying his heart out, but hey, it’s not like he could help it. He tried to quickly wipe away his tears before Niall noticed, but it was already too late. Harry guessed that the loud, animal-like sobs racking his body were what alerted Niall that something was wrong, because then Harry was aware of a presence beside him.

He didn’t react when Niall sat on the hard concrete pavement beside him and wrapped his arms protectively around Harry’s broad shoulders. He just sobbed into Niall’s warm chest and let his salty tears soak into his cotton shirt. He didn’t see the point in fighting it anymore. It was over either way.

They stayed huddled together like that until the sky began to change from a bright blue to various shades of pink and purple and orange.

Harry idly wondered what they must look like to passers-by. His tears had dried by now, leaving his usually bright eyes red and puffy and extremely sore, and he was almost back to normal, except for the constant ache in his heart.

“Niall, you don’t have to do this” Harry began once he was certain that he could actually talk without embarrassing himself.

“Yes. Yes, Harry, I do. We need to talk”

Harry wasn’t sure that he wanted to hear what Niall had to say. He knew what was coming.

If Niall was even just a tad in love with Harry, he wouldn’t have run away like he did when Harry had kissed him, and he wouldn’t have avoided him for two painful weeks, even though Harry couldn’t blame him because he hadn’t made an attempt to talk to Niall either.

“Harry I love you” Niall blurted out and then clapped his hand over his mouth, like the words had slipped out of his mouth before he’d even made the decision to say them out loud.

To say Harry was shocked was an understatement. He knew what he’d been expecting Niall to say, but it sure wasn’t this.

“No, Niall. No, you don’t. At least not in the way I want you to”

“Who are you to tell me that I don’t love you? You don’t know how I feel!” Niall retorted, and the roughness in his voice made him sound angry. Maybe he was.

“Yes, I think I do, Niall. I do know how you feel. Because in the end, how could you love me? You’ve been ignoring me for two weeks, Niall. Two fucking weeks! And don’t tell me your feelings for me have changed since then. Because they clearly haven’t. You don’t just fall in love with someone in the blink of an eye like that” But even as Harry said the words, he knew that they weren’t entirely true, because it had happened to him.

He didn’t know why he was reacting like this. All along all he had wanted was for Niall to love him, and now that Niall was confessing his love for Harry, he couldn’t believe him.

“You don’t know how I feel” Niall muttered again, and then he was untangling himself from Harry’s grip and walking away.

Harry felt like screaming. He wanted to cry again. He’d lost his best friend all over again; for the second time in one day.  He wanted to shout, or sob, or laugh, or just do anything, but he couldn’t. His whole body was frozen in place. Watching Niall walk away from him was like losing a piece of himself.

 

 

He heard Niall whimper his name and as he turned to lock eyes with the older boy, Harry knew that he had been wrong. When he looked into those deep, deep blue eyes that he loved so much, he could see that they were full of love. Love and heartbreak and loss and sincerity. And in that moment, Harry asked himself how he could have been so stupid. Niall loved him, and all the evidence he needed was right in front of him. All he ever had to do was look into Niall’s eyes, and he would see. A million emotions, all crammed into one pair of small blue eyes. He could see it now. Niall loved him. That’s all he ever needed to know.

Harry was sure it couldn’t get any more perfect than this, but obviously he was wrong, because Niall had bounded over and launched himself into Harry’s arms in an instant. Their lips were smashed together and it was the best kiss Harry had ever had. It was even more special than the time they had first kissed on that day two weeks ago that was now just a stepping stone in Harry and Niall’s relationship.

It was better than that because instead of feeling regret and distaste and pure unhappiness in the set of Niall’s lips, there was now trust and want and excitement and, most importantly, love. Pure, uninterrupted love.

“You really love me?” Harry questioned as they both pulled back for air, sweaty foreheads pressed together.

“I really, truly do” Niall classified as he nuzzled his face into Harry’s warm neck, and they both fell back onto the cold, slightly damp grass, gazing up at the glittering stars.

Harry laced his fingers together with Niall’s, and then decided to name a star after him. Niall had become Niall’s, and it felt like an appropriate thing to do. 

 

 

 

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