how can i love you now (sequel to tidal wave)

savannah and kylie, two mermaids, now human, face more problems then ever expected

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7. dont tell

savannahs POV

after i beat up kylie i refused to eat for the next to days, i started to get weak, niall kept coming over while zayn was at work and started criticizing me, i just pushed him out, one day he came with their kid tyler

"why do you keep coming back here" i yell at him, the baby asleep in his arms but i didn't care

"to make you feel bad about hurting kylie" he simply says and walks past me into our apartment

"she deserved it, and you could have helped, but you didn't, did you, i wasn't going to hurt your kid, im not that insane" i say, his face drops

"i know, i still feel bad for not holding you back, but then again i get to make you feel bad now" he sets tyler on the couch and walks up to me, i back away, but he backs me into the wall, a corner, shit

"what do you want from me" i ask, he presses his body on mine and puts a hand on my neck, all im thinking is don't rape me, but he pulls me into an empty room and lays me down on the floor, he starts stripping me down, i try to scream, but his lips press on mine

"better not tell or i will kill you" he whispers in my ear when im too weak to scream, he has been going on for almost an hour, then he stops, finally, he gets dressed and leaves, i get dressed and sit on the couch with my pocket knife and a knife sharpener, i have been sharpening it for half an hour when zayn walks in

"hey, what you doin" he says looking at the knife

"preparing for a break-in, just in case when im here alone if someone breaks in i will have this" i say folding the blade back inside the handle and put it on the coffee table

"cool, but why don't you get a gun" he asks, pulling out his, "i keep it in the truck" he says

"they are too loud, its like yelling out the window i just shot at someone" he laughs, i stand up and walk into our bedroom to put the knife away and the sharpener in the kitchen, then i feel my stomach, im aft, how can anyone love me, im ugly, hideous, im a jerk, a murderer, and a mother who just let herself get raped today

"haha, true, but that's good, someone can help" he says, i stand in the kitchen, holding my stomach, in a few days i need to take a test to see if im pregnant with niall's kid, if i am i will kill him, but wait, that would prove i don't deserve to live, i will be locked up in prison for life

ding dong

"ill get it" zayn says and walks to the door, i get cherries out of the freezer and ice cream, chocolate, and make it look like it did when i was still in England with zayn and liam

"hey, im zayn, im looking for savannah" i hear a British accent say, i turn away from the door

"she's in the kitchen, who are you" my new zayn asks

"im zayn malik fro one direction, savannahs ex boyfriend" he says and walks in, i come out of the kitchen

"why did you leave like that" he says, i motion for zayn to leave, he goes next door to niall and kylies

"because i had to get away from kylie, she put so much pressure on me, and she ended moving right next door to me" i say and walk past him to the  living room

"but why couldn't you warn me it was way out here, when niall texted me you were out here i immediately came" he says grabbing me and pulling me in a hug

"because, i couldn't let anyone know i just couldn't" i say and push away

"i don't understand" he says, "i thought we could still be together before i saw that thing" he motions outside to zayn, my new bf

"but i have a kid now, i don't know whose it is, but" i lower my voice and look around, "im trusting you to keep this a secret from everyone" he nods, "niall kinda raped me this morning" i say, his eyes widen

"im  gonna kill him" he says and walks for the door

"no, don't, keep it a secret, you said you would" i block the door

"what do you want me to do, leave it alone so he can do it again" he says

"no, but just don't tell anyone, you know how mad niall would be, he said if i told anyone he would kill me" i say, my eyes tearing up

"i cant let these things happen to you" zayn lowers his voice to  a soft concerning one

"i know, just trust me" i say, he puts a hand to my cheek, i hold it there with mine, i miss his touch, his soft lips, but perrie needs him more than i do

"ok, but" he leans in close, i turn away

"i cant, you deserve perrie, not a bitch like me, a jerk who beat up her best friend like me" i say and walk away

"you beat up kylie" he says surprised, i nod

"i got mad at her for movin here, they could have moved anywhere else in the country, but they moved here", we stare at each other for a while

"i better be going" zayn says, i nod and he leaves with out saying another word

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