Dear Agony

I can't even anymore. Seeing them in the hallways, in our classes, at lunch, on Facebook and Instagram, and sometimes through my window when I'm lying around the house. It hurts like hell. I'm friends with them both but lately, it hurts more than usual. The moment I think I'm getting over them, I think of something or I see something, or some idiot says something, and it comes back full force.

(The title comes from the song Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin.)

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5. "You cheating, lying BITCH!"

(A/N: This chapter is written in Kaci's POV because I got an idea from the girl she's based on. Thank you, love.)

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Kaci's POV

They keep sneaking glances when they think I'm not looking. Who are they, you ask? They just so happen to be my best friend, Jake, and my girlfriend, Haley. Do they honestly think I'm that stupid? They at least like each other. Whenever they look at each other, Haley blushes like a schoolgirl with a crush and Jake gets his signature smirk and that fucking spark in his eye. The spark I know he only gets when he really likes a girl. They look at each other and it's there again, that motherfucking spark. This time in Haley's eyes. I could cry. I clear my throat before standing, "Babe, I'm not feeling too hot. I'm gonna go see the nurse." That apparently snaps her out of whatever best-friend-loving, hormone-induced fantasy she was in and she whips her head towards me as if she had forgotten I was even there. "Sure babe. Feel better." I force a smile for my 'loving' "girlfriend" and "best friend" and walk away. I see Alex on my way out and wave slightly. She returns it but it looks painful. She even tries to smile but it's forced, I can tell. She's looks....hurt. As I walk away, I can't help but wonder what could cause her so much pain...

------------------------------------------ *The next morning* --------------------------------------

I'm walking down the halls when I hear it. I'm always at school at least 45 minutes to an hour early, I am junior class president after all. I stop when I hear a strangely familiar moan and turn in the direction it came from. I creep pass three doors before I come to what seems to be the right one. I slowly open it and gasp at what I see. They pull apart and gape at me in shock. "I FUCKING knew it!! I swear to God I FUCKING KNEW IT!! I just wanted to believe it wasn't true..." I choke on a sob and realize I have tears streaming down my face. Haley tries to wipe away some of the tear but I slap her and scream in her face,my voice dripping with a venom I didn't know I was capable of using, "You lying, cheating BITCH!! How could you??? And with my best friend??"

I turn to look at Jake, and I could kill him right here and now. "And you! How could you? You of all people! You know how I feel about her. I came to you for help a month ago when I thought she might like somebody else and you told me that..." I gasp as realization hits me, she did like somebody else. "Oh my god, it was you. You were the reason why I was crying my eyes out and sobbing until I couldn't breathe!?" They look at me stunned, I haven't used this much profanity in forever. Haley stands in front of me with tears slowly falling from her eyes. She clears her throat and says, "Kaci, baby please. We never meant to hurt-" "Don't give me that shit! 'We never meant to hurt you.' Do you think I'm stupid? Did you think I just wouldn't find out or something Haley?" She looked down at the floor and sniffled, "Well...yeah. We just hoped we could end it before you found." She's openly sobbing right along with me now, the tears glistening on her face with the light from the hallway. "How could you think I wouldn't find out?"

I whipped my head to Jake, who was trying to sneak out. I rushed over and pushed him on the ground as hard as I could, he landed on his butt with a thud. "No! You aren't going anywhere just yet. Not until you answer this one question for me." Jake and Haley both stare at me, looking a little more than scared. Haley breaks the silence, "What is it, babe?" I look them both in the eyes and then spit viciously, "How long?" Jake and Haley both go paler than alabaster. "Kaci...do you really wanna know the answer to that?" I turn on Haley and get in her face, hating the way my voice cracks as I demand the answers that I feel I so rightly deserve, "Yes! Yes! I want to know how long my best friend and my girlfriend have been fucking behind my back!" Jake clears his throat and brushes himself off before taking a small step away from me. "Kaci, now when I tell you this, you have to promise not to do anythi-" I slap him across the face as hard as I can and his eyes go wide as a red mark starts to form on his left cheek. I've never hit him before, not like this, but I'm just so fucking angry that I don't know what to do with myself. "How dare you ask me to promise anything to you right now! Now answer the question or I swear I'll hit you somewhere else." He looks like he just pissed himself and he starts stuttering, "Y-y-you s-s-slapped me. Y-you've n-never hit me b-before." He's crying and I laugh coldly, "Don't you dare try to make this my fault. Now, I'm gonna ask one more time. How long have you been fucking my girlfriend?" He starts sobbing and says, "S-s-since six months after you two started going out." He falls onto his knees, sobs wracking his entire six foot plus frame.

I just stand there in shock. Haley and I have been dating since sixth grade. I wipe my eyes and cheeks furiously and spin on Haley. "You've been fucking my best friend since sixth grade?? Really, Haley?" At this point, I'm murderous. I know the full pain of this will hit me at some point later on and then I'll break down but right now, I'm just pissed off. She slowly nods and I just nod my head and make my way out of the room, making sure to kick Jake in the side where he lays curled into a still-sobbing ball on the floor on my way out. I hear familiar footsteps running down the hall after me but I don't stop. Haley grabs my wrist and spins me around, forcing me to look into those eyes that have been my home for the past five years as she pleads, "Kaci wait! I am so sorry. We can fix this, right? Please tell me that we can fix this." I laugh coldly and step into her personal space as I force myself not to break down.  "Sorry. Doesn't. Cut it. Not this time, not ever. We are done. Don't call me, text me, come to my house, or even look at me ever again." She stares at me uncomprehendingly. "Do you understand me Haley?" She nods quickly and I turn around again, but not before another question hits me. I take a deep breath before asking her, "Did you ever love me?" I hate the way my voice cracks once again, but I need to know if I wasted the past five years of my life on a relationship that was a complete and utter lie. She hesitates before nodding and I laugh without a trace of humor, "Liar. If you loved me, truly loved me, this would've never happened and you wouldn't have hesitated before answering." I wipe my eyes once more and walk away. The last thing I hear before I turn the corner is her calling my name, begging me to forgive her.

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