Dear Agony

I can't even anymore. Seeing them in the hallways, in our classes, at lunch, on Facebook and Instagram, and sometimes through my window when I'm lying around the house. It hurts like hell. I'm friends with them both but lately, it hurts more than usual. The moment I think I'm getting over them, I think of something or I see something, or some idiot says something, and it comes back full force.

(The title comes from the song Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin.)


2. Conjured From the Depths of Satans Mind

After my lunch incident, I'm bombarded with questions as I walk down the halls, "Alex! Where did you go when you left the cafeteria?" "Alex! Are you okay?" "Alex! Why did you and Addison leave the cafeteria?" But the question that hurt the most came from Haley and Kaci, "Alex! Babe, are you okay?" Up until now, Addy had been scaring everyone off with her withering glare but we don't have Art together this semester. I quickly nod at the happy couple and as I feel that familiar tightening start in my lungs, I ask the teacher if I can go to the bathroom. She says yes and as I walk down the hall, I text Addy.

Me - Addy. Emergency. Bathroom. Now. - 12:45 pm

I wait a few minutes and breathe a sigh of relief when she texts me back.

Addy - Otay. I'll be there in a sec. - 12:50 pm

Two minutes later she bursts in and finds me in the handicapped stall bawling my eyes out. She locks the bathroom door and enters the stall with me. She sits beside me and pulls me into her and I wrap my arms around her middle and tell her what happened, ".....a-a-and then I j-j-just c-c-couldn't t-take it a-anymore A-a-a-addy. I-i-i c-couldn't b-b-breathe." After I finish telling her through my sobs, she pulls my closer and I can tell she's crying with me. She's my rock, my bestfriend and I know she hates seeing me like this. If this were because of a guy or anybody else, she'd tell them to leave me the fuck alone and threaten to feed them to her dog, Sapphire, or stab them with her knife. But this is them and she knows I couldn't handle anything happening to them. Sometimes I try to imagine me without her and then I realize what a mess I'd be. I sob into her neck again and she pulls me tighter, murmuring words of comfort into my hair because that's all she can ever do when I get like this.

What feels like two years later, but was probably only maybe an hour or two ,we're standing in front of the mirror fixing our make-up. As we walk out of the bathroom I realize we missed two periods and we only have two more classes left until we can go home. We both have Gym and then our last class of the day, Mrs. Lewis. We walk to her locker, which is right beside mine, where we keep our gym bag. I can hear the whispers as we walk down the hall, no doubt another rumor about us dating. We sneak off to do a lot of stuff; go to the movies, go shopping, go out for lunch. You know, the normal best friend stuff. Since we both play volleyball and run track, we're pretty damn fit if I do say so myself. I always manage to forget we have gym with Kaci. Haley is a teacher's pet so she always gets out of gym - no matter how obvious her excuses are.

As we enter the locker room with Addy's arm around my shoulders, all eyes are on us but, as usual, we ignore it and start changing. Just as we're about to walk out, Kaci shows up; sweaty, sticky, and flushed. She and Haley do this everyday before gym. A quickie in the janitors closet, or in an empty classroom. You can practically smell the sex on her. I bump into her by accident on my way out and she smiles, "Oh, hi Alex." I cringe slightly, ignoring the look on her face as I reply and speed past her, "Oh, hey Kace. Would you excuse me? I'm gonna be late." It's the lamest excuse in the book, I know, but I need to get away. 

I make it to the gym and smile when I see we're playing volleyball. I stand on one side and wait for Addy to come out of the locker room. When she finally does, she has this shocked expression on her face. I ask her, "What's wrong, Addybear?" Then she looks at me, gulps and says, "We need to talk. Like, now." And pulls me off to the locker room, yelling for everybody to clear out. She sits me on a bench and looks me in the eyes before she says, "Al, I hate to have to tell you this but..."

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