The Mermaid Project

Hi my name is Kai.
I am 16 years old.
I was selected for the mermaid project.
It sounded exciting at first, but now...I don't know who I am.

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17. Explenations

 

Jake had gotten me a glass of water. I took constant small sips of it.

"Kai, what happened?" He said softly. I didn't want to tell him. I didn't want him to know. He would hate me. He would block me out forever and I would be alone. I couldn't tell him. If anyone knew. If anyone found out. No, I wouldn't tell him. I couldn't. I shook my head furiously to let him know that I didn't want to talk.

"You know talking is easyer than holding it inside." He said almost whispering.

You would hate me. I thought.

"No I won't." He said. 

"How did you do that?" I asked. I looked up shocked. He smiled at me. 

"I don't know." He shrugged. I looked at him. I was ashamed that he cared so much about me. He didn't deserve me. He knew something was off, maybe he was already on to me. Maybe he put the puzzle pieces together. I was naked, and I came out of Jessie's room. Oh no.

Maybe if I confessed he would forgive me. If I didn't would he think I'm a liar?

"Jake I did something." I said. I couldn't risk looking away from my water.

"Kai, what did you do?" He asked. I glanced up quickly. He had those little innocent eyes. He didn't know. Maybe if I just lied to him and told him that I never loved him, then maybe he could just move on. Find someone else. Forget about me. 

"Kai, you can trust me." He said softly.

"I know." I whispered under my breath.

"I almost..." I couldn't say it.

"I almost slept with Jessie." I said quickly. I looked up. He was hurt I could tell. It almost looked like tears welling up in his eyes.

"Who's Jessie." He asked quietly. He didn't look at me. 

"Jake I'm so sorry." I said. I was trying to catch his glance but he kept facing the floor.

"Answer me!" He shouted.

"Dr. Sidonikov." I replied softly. I deserved his anger. I did a terrible thing. 

"I'm sorry." He spoke quietly. Why was he apologizing?

"I shouldn't have shouted at you." He said.

"No, it's not your fault." I replied.

"If you hate me, I understand." I said. He then looked up at me.

"Kai, you don't get it!" He said. 

"If I hated you, I wouldn't be so angry!" He said. I looked in his eyes. What was he saying? Why was he so angry then? I was relieved that he didn't hate me, but I didn't want him to be angry at me.    

"Kai I..." He cut himself off.

"Kai...I love you."

 

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