Loved You First

"Was it possible that all the signs, I had convinced myself were just my imagination, actually were real?

I just couldn't help but wonder how long she'd had feelings for him, even if they were subconcious.
I was sure that I loved her first, but at this point I actually didn't know who she loved first."

A few slightly sexual references (not smut, I don't do that)
A few slightly violent scenes
Use of strong language at times
SELF-HARM references in a couple of chapters


54. 'Youtube, Twitter & Christmas'

Chapter 48

"Youtube, Twitter & Christmas"


Mag's P.O.V.

By the time Louis and I got back to the hotel, I was floating on a pink cloud.

After the heartstopping moment on the Eiffel Tower, we had a nice dinner, and I finally saw a different side of him.

A more romantic side, and I loved it.

I really felt like we were actually moving towards something. Even though I had said, I wanted to take it slow, I liked the pace we were moving in and maybe I was finally ready for a relationship.


"Hello everybody!" I said cheerfully as we stepped into the suite.

"Hey!" Zayn replied as the rest of them barely mumbled a "hi".

I noticed they were all huddled around Tally's laptop, except Zayn who was more interested in his phone.

"What's going on?" Louis asked, as we went behind the couch to see the screen over Niall's shoulder.

"We're checking out Tally's old band on Youtube!" Harry answered enthusiastically and Louis and I shared a confused look.

"What band?" I asked, trying to get a better glimpse of the screen.


Tally explained that when she moved to London last summer to persure her acting dreams, she met these guys that had a band and needed a guitarist so she had immediately offered her skills. After playing the guitar solo in Green Day's Boulevard of Broken Dreams they took her in on the spot.


"We played a handful of gigs over the summer, before they had to go back to college. It really was just a summer thing but we had a blast. All these videos are from our biggest gig. We would play covers of Blink 182, Green Day and early McFly. Like all teenage rockbands we also performed Teenage Dirtbag, before you guys by the way, and I convinced them to add a couple of The Script's songs."


I could finally see the screen, and spotted two guys looking very much alike, one of them holding a guitar, the other holding a bass, both with microphones. Behind them was a dark haired girl playing the drums, and next to them a short very familiar girl with bright red hair, black pants, a white tank top and red Doc Martens, playing an electric guitar so fierce she could put Niall to shame.


"That's me with the red hair. The two guys are Jake and Jamie, twins obviously. Jamie is the one with the bass, he had a lighter voice and Jake with the guiter had the deeper voice. The two different voices were really good for Blink 182 and McFly, cause the songs we chose from those two groups were with the deep and the light lead vocals. For Green Day, Jake would take the lead, and Jamie would always take the lead in Teenage Dirtbag. Oh we should hear that one now!" Tally said excitedly, clicking on a new video, and I immediately recognized the intro of "my song" when I was a young teen.


They were actually really good. Tally was amazing on the guitar, maybe even better than Niall and that Jamie had a really cool voice. It was also obvious, when she talked about it, that Tally had been really into the whole thing. I thought a notice something between Tally and Jamie, lingering glances and things like that. After a couple minutes, my suspicions were confirmed.


"So which one did you date again?" Liam asked and my head snapped towards Tally,

"Jamie." Tally replied with a sigh, and it was obvious they had teased her about this little piece of information.

"Of course! Look at him, he's like a Niall clone!" Harry laughed, and I looked closer at the screen. Jamie had brown hair, dyed blonde and blue eyes but besides that I didn't see any Niall resemblance in either of the boys.

"No way! He looks like a male Miley! Wouldn't wanna see him swinging naked on a wrecking ball though!" Louis remarked, and I had to repress a laugh. He really did resemble Miley Cyrus in her latest video.


"Oh stop, he doesn't look like either Miley or Niall! And he's a year older than my pumpkin!" Tally snapped, clicking on a different video.

"Yeah quit bullying my peanut!" Niall said sternly, although I could clearly see he was trying not to smile.

I didn't get a chance to see what the next video was, as my phone started to ring. Camilla.

"I'm gonna take this in my room." I said quickly, walking away as I heard the intro to McFly's Too Close For Comfort.

Dammit Camilla, I love that song!


* * *

Zayn's P.O.V.

"Wow, you're actually really good!" Liam said, as they continued to watch videos, while I just glared at Louis.

As soon as Mag walked through the door, I could tell something had happened, with those dumb lovestruck smiles on their faces. I knew, I should have prevented that date from happening, or at least not have let him take her on the Eiffel Tower alone. It was too much of a romantic setting for something not to happen. Even though I had told Mag otherwise, I was well aware that Louis was pretty damn capable of being romantic.


"Well if we're ever in need of a new guitarist, we know where to go!" Niall said kissing his girlfriend on the cheek.

I scrunched my nose, being secretly jealous because it could have been Mag and I acting all couply.

"Or a drummer, this girl is incredible!" Louis said, while watching them perform Blink 182's All The Small Things. At least that's what Tally said. I wasn't familiar with the song, but I had also noticed that the drums were incredible in all the songs they had played so far, and this one was no exception.


"Actually she wasn't our usual drummer. Our usual Stacey, the boys' cousin got really sick two days before this gig but fortunately this friend of hers was visiting over the summer. I think she's originally American but she lives in England, not in London though... Well that's not the point! She was visiting Stacey in London over the summer, and when Stacey got ill she mentioned that her friend was a good drummer, she had been to all our rehearsals and gigs and we really needed someone. As you can see, she turned out to be pretty awesome... I just can't remember her name!" Tally explained, and I scooted over to the screen, widening my eyes as I looked closer.

No, it couldn't possibly be...


"I think it was something with A... Abby... Ally..."


Everyone's eyes turned to me.

"Yes exactly! How did you know that?" Tally asked, and they all looked at me curiously.

"She... Uh... Well she did my tattoo." I stuttered, as everyone turned to my wrist.

It was only just yesterday, I stopped wearing my wristband and I didn't know if anyone, besides Mag and Tally, had even noticed yet.

They all stared for a breath-holding minute, but fortunately Liam grabbed their attention,

"Wait... Is that the same Ada that you talk on the phone with?"

Okay, maybe not so fortunate... Hold on...

"Wha... How do you...?"

I wasn't able to finish my sentence, before he replied,

"When I borrowed your phone to call Skye yesterday, I noticed a lot of in- and outgoing calls to a certain "Ada". I didn't think much of it at the time though."

Everyone's eyes were on me, and I wished I could be anywhere but here at the moment.

"So what's the deal with you two?" He pushed, and I finally pulled myself together to speak,

"Yeah we exchanged numbers, and I talked to her a lot on a friendly basis. She sort of helped me get through... Things."


It was the truth. Ada had helped me back when I tried to get over Mag. She probably prevented me from drowning in depression. I really didn't like the way, Liam implied that there was more than friendship there, though.

I knew perfectly well, whose team he was on, but he had nothing on me. Ada was a friend, a far away friend, and they wouldn't be able to prove anything else. Mostly because there wasn't anything else to prove.


Before anyone could speak again, Mag stepped in looking bewildered and a bit distressed.

"Hey, are you alright?" I asked, before anyone else got the chance.

"Yeah, fine..." she replied looking deep in thought,

"I just talked to Camilla... and my mom."

" Is everything okay?" Tally asked concerned shutting the laptop.

" Well... You guys are all over twitter, but that's normal. People are trending #1DFrenchEscapades... I don,t why they call it escapades, it's nothing unusual just you guys around town and with fans..." Mag drifted off, as she noticed us all staring at her waiting to get to the real point,

"But it seems that everyone is more interested in Louis and I than you guys."

Louis' head snapped up from his phone, and I felt my insides burning as they shared a look.

"What are they saying?" He asked, not removing his gaze from her for even a second.

"All the usual. The thing is most of them thought I was still with Zayn, cause you know we never announced our break-up, and being with you on tour, I naturally spend time with him. Some of them are really confused but most of them are... angry."


It always annoyed me when Mag spoke so openly of our break-up in front of me, but she had no reason to think it would effect me.

But more important was the angry fans. I knew what she meant. They probably thought that she was just using us or something like that, after our money or fame. It was the same story everytime one of us got a girlfriend who wasn't already famous.

There were always those who would hate them, probably just out of jealousy. I mean, they would get angry at us for only dating famous people, and we dated "regular" people they were accused of all sorts of shit! Apparently every single one of them were just "gold diggers" or "desperate for fame". I liked to just focus on our millions of cool fans, who didn't give a rat's ass who we were dating, or who could at least be supportive of our happiness.


"Just ignore whatever they're saying. You know you shouldn't care about haters!" Liam said comforting, and Mag nodded slightly, still deep in thought about something.

"That's not all is it?" I asked and she shook her head sighing.


"For the first time, since we moved from there, my parents are spending Christmas in Thailand. Along with my oldest sister and brother. My other brother is spending this year at his girlfriend, and Melissa and Gabby are going to Gabby's dad this year. Apparently no one even thought about me!"

"But Christmas is like two months from now!" Harry exclaimed, and we looked at him weirdly,


"Uh... Nothing, just thought I would mention it."

Mag looked at Harry, shaking her head slightly before going on,

"So my mom said that they all thought I wouldn't be home for Christmas, and I told her that I would have told them that, but everyone already made plans and bought plane or train tickets. I then asked Camilla, but she's spending it with her fiancé's family. So... I don't know what to do."


Wow, that really sucked. She didn't have anywhere to go for Christmas?

Unless... This was perfect! Now was my chance.

I looked over at Louis, who was about to open his mouth but I quickly beat him to it,

"You can spend Christmas with me... And my family I mean."

Everyone turned to look at me, three of them pissed off, two of them smiling but most importantly Mag, who looked at me hesitantly,

"I don't know, are you sure?" She asked, and I nodded enthusiastically,

"Of course! Mum won't mind, she adores you and so do the girls. It's really not a problem, we would all love to have you!"

Especially me, I added silently.


Mag thought about it for a while and the whole held it's breath until she finally replied,

"Yeah, that would be great... Only if you're sure, it wouldn't be inconvenient?"

"Not at all, I'll call my mom later." I replied with a big grin.

"Well, thanks! It really means a lot!" She said with a smile, and I felt my heart pounding.

Tommo may have gotten Paris, but I got Christmas.

It may be two months away, and a lot could happen, but I'd just have to make sure, nothing too serious happened between her and Fringe Boy.



Louis' P.O.V.


So Bradford Boy thought he was being smug, did he?

He had no idea what had happened between Mag and I.

We were only steps away from finally being together, and he was practically in the bin!

Did he really think she would fall into his arms just because he offered her Christmas before I got that chance?



"Oh Mag, remember how you totally idolized the drummer in Tally's band?" Liam asked, and I felt a smirk creeping onto my face.

"Zayn knows her! She did his tattoo and apparently they're good... friends." He went on, purposely hesitating at the word friends.

"Really?" Mag asked, and I noticed Zayn murdering Liam in his thoughts.

"You remember that you needed a drummer for your girlband? She could totally fit in!" Harry joined in, and I couldn't resist a big smile.

"Oh yeah!" Tally added,

"But we would have to change our name from "The Girlfriends", since she's only a FRIEND."

Oh, Tally. Little naive Tally. Did you really think, we would give up that easily?

"Unless Zayn changes that." I jumped in, and he turnes to me with a vicious oh-you-will-pay look on his face.


"So how come we haven't heard about her before?"Mag asked Zayn curiously.

"There really is nothing to tell, she's just a friend. Not even a real friend... I met her that one time and she was a good listener and really far away from all this, so it was nice to talk to her when I needed distance."


Well played Zayn, but not good enough,

"Well you know, communication is fundamental in a good relationship." I said matter-of-factly and the look on his face was priceless!

"We're just friends okay? Nothing more will come from it!" Zayn's voice was on the edge, but I knew he wouldn't let Mag see how angry this made him, and it made it even more entertaining.

"Never say never, Zaynie!" I finally muttered with a smirk on my face, ending the conversation.



I was hanging out watching TV with Mag, after the others went to their rooms, and Zayn was on the phone with his mother.

It was so nice to just sit there on the couch with her, head on my lap as I ran my fingers through her hair.

Why couldn't we just be a couple?

We both felt the same and we had our couply moments, but I knew that we weren't a couple. I just didn't know why she was still waiting.



Zayn's voice sounded behind me, but I didn't move. Mag, however, sat up as Zayn sat on the couch next to us, and I frowned in her absence.

"So my mum is really looking forward to seeing you again. Apparently she'll be going all in just for your sake!" Zayn smiled at Mag, totally ignoring my presence.

Whatever, I wasn't bothered.

"Great, I can't wait!" Mag replied, and it actually really annoyed me.

"Well, I'm off to my room. I'm too tired to function anymore."

Zayn and I said goodnight to Mag, and she turned facing Zayn first, then me. How symbolic.

"Goodnight Zayn. Goodnight.. Louis." It was obvious that she hadn't been sure whether to say my name or something else. If only it had been something else.

"I... I lo..." She started, and I looked at her intensely, my heart pounding as I waited for her to finish the sentence.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

And my heart fell.


I heard Zayn snickering, and turned to him narrowing my eyes,

"What's so funny, Malik?"

"Nothing... nothing at all, Tomboy."

"So when will you realize that you might as well give up?" I asked, abruptly changing the subject.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Bradford. Mag will never want to get back with you. Wake up and hear the Taylor Swift lyrics! She's accepted you as a friend, yeah but you know I'm the one she wants now. So give it up already!"

I know, I was a bit harsh but I was getting so tired of him! The idea of Mag wanting to be with him again was just stupid as I was really starting to get plain irritated by it!

"My chances are just as big as yours!" He fired back, and I laughed in his face,

"You have got to be kidding! You don't even believe that yourself do you?"

"She's spending Christmas with me!" Zayn said sassily and I rolled my eyes,

"Who cares? It's just Christmas, a time for family, loved ones and FRIENDS. You know what? Mag and I are pretty close to becoming a couple now, so stop being a nuiseance. You lost, okay!"


Zayn and I locked stares in a deathly battle, but no matter how long or hard his stare was, I had still won.

All of Zayn's tricks, talking bad about me, smooth talking his way to her, none of it mattered anymore.

When I declared my love for Mag, I could tell that she knew, I meant every single word... and I could tell that it was what she had been waiting for.

Finally Zayn got up and walked towards his room but stopped and turned around before entering,

"This isn't over yet."



hey babes, this chap might seem irrelevant but it isn't and also I picture the twins Jake & Jamie as Greg Gorenc (one of the treblemakers from Pitch Perfect, i loooove that movie), so yh Jamie is Greg exactly the way he looks in the movie with the brown/blond hair, and Jake just has black hair! :)

anyways, remember to like& fave aand COMMENT!! I REALLY DO LOVE UR COMMENTS!!!

c' ya in a week ;)

xoxo, M. ;)

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