Loved You First

"Was it possible that all the signs, I had convinced myself were just my imagination, actually were real?

I just couldn't help but wonder how long she'd had feelings for him, even if they were subconcious.
I was sure that I loved her first, but at this point I actually didn't know who she loved first."

A few slightly sexual references (not smut, I don't do that)
A few slightly violent scenes
Use of strong language at times
SELF-HARM references in a couple of chapters


24. 'The Inevitable'


pls comment comment comment! xP





Chapter 19

“The Inevitable”

So Perrie was calling Zayn, just as I expected. But I had not expected him, to still have her number. Don't you usually delete your exe's number, when it ends badly? Especially if they cheat on you? I just didn't know what to think, maybe I was just overreacting again, and it wasn't a big deal. I considered calling him on Liam's phone, but I didn't want to disturb him at the moment. However, I wouldn't have to, because my phone started ringing.

"Hey Liam." I said, trying to sound normal.

"No it's me babe, I forgot my phone." Zayn's voice, made me feel so many different things.

It was so amazing, what he had done with the photos, but I was also angry about him having Perrie's number.

"Yeah, I know." That was all I could manage to say, I just couldn't decide how I felt right now.

"Well, we went to that place where we thought Harry would be, but all we found was his clothes in a dumpster, so the police are going to check it for prints, but first we're going to check out the first place he stopped at." Zayn explained, but all I could think about at the moment was Perrie.

"Okay, fine. I hope you'll find them." I replied, and apparently Zayn could hear that I wasn't quite myself.

"Is something wrong babe?" He asked, and I wasn't sure if I should tell him about Perrie, but I decided he had enough on his mind,

"No... It's fine Zayn. I'm just worried about Lou and Harry, I'll be fine... Um, I have to go now, bye."

And then I hung up, before he could reply, and ran downstairs to Niall, who was just putting away his laptop.

"Hey Niall, I'm just gonna go for a walk." I said grabbing my sweater and bag.

"What? Why? I'm going with you then." He replied quickly getting up, but I stopped him,

"I'm sorry Ni, but I just... I need some time alone. And that probably won't happen, when people see you with me."

Apparently he wasn't going to give up,

"Come on Mag, it's me... Nini... If there's something bothering you, you can tell me?"

I stood looking at him for a second, pondering if it was a good idea. I felt so foolish, getting upset over such a little thing, and I didn't need anyone else telling me, that I was overreacting.

"Thanks Niall, but I need some alone time, and one of us has to stay here, sorry." I exclaimed, hurrying out of the bus, before I could see the hurt expression on his face.


Louis' P.O.V.

Harry and I had been left alone in the room, for a while, when we heard a voice exclaiming "fuck" and somebody rushing around, before Serena entered the room holding some rope and... A knife!

"What is going..." I started, but she interrupted me,

"Shut up, and both of you stand up!"

We both stood up quickly, almost falling over, due to our wrists tied behind our backs. She led us over to a large closet, and pushed us in, tying up our legs, and jumping in with us, before closing the door.

"One word or movement, and Curly here is done for it!" She said, holding the knife to Harry's neck, as we heard a knock on the door.

Someone had found us!

Well, maybe it was something else, but it was definitely unexpected, which meant it was our chance of being rescued. I was stood squeezed up in the corner of the closet, Serena in between me and Harry, knife held to his neck, making me almost unable to breathe. Harry had his eyes shut close, trembling, as if expecting a sudden death at any moment. I heard Blair opening the front door, and then a unknown voice,

"Hello miss. Are you Blair Watson? Resident of this apartment?"


Blair replied, asking what this was about, and then a very familiar voice, made my heart leap,

"Have you seen these two boys around the area in the past 24 hours?" Liam sounded so strict, he could have been a police officer himself, and he must have shown her a picture. She was quiet for a moment, before replying innocently,

"Can't say I have... But aren't they in that famous boyband, that are touring at the moment?"

"Yes they are," the police officer replied sternly, "and we have reason to believe they are in this area, mind if we take a look inside?"

I heard, what sounded like, 4 or 5 people enter the apartment, but I had no idea how big this place was. I had never seen anything outside the room.  For a couple minutes we heard them walking around, asking Blair questions, and I noticed Zayn was along too. I knew they would be coming to this room eventually, but I hadn't decided whether to act on it or not.

A little kick and the closet door would open, but could I risk Serena killing Harry? Would she have the guts to kill him? She would go to jail for a long time, but maybe she didn't care, if she was going away for kidnapping anyway. She was definitely mentally ill, according to Blair, and I couldn't risk anything, Harry was too important to me. Losing him would be losing everything. No, I had to find a way to get noticed, without Serena hurting him, and I had to think fast.

I turned to Harry, whose eyes were wide open, and looking at me. I knew that look. He was going to do something dangerous, and I couldn't let him. I shook my head slightly, so Serena wouldn't notice, but he just stared at me with a determined look on his face, making tears form in my eyes. He could get himself killed, but in order to stop him, I could get him killed.

I heard footsteps approaching the door, and people entering, walking around the room. Besides this closet, there was a bed, the two chairs, and a window with the curtains drawed. It could easily be a simple bedroom, and I heard Blair explaining,

"Guestroom. I usually never go in here, when I don't have guests, so the curtains are usually closed."

I looked at Harry, who mouthed the words "I love you", but before he could do anything, I took action.

The next minute, always plays in my mind in slow motion. What I did could have gone so terribly wrong, but I knew Harry's alternative would have been worse.

Wrists and legs tied, I had few options, so I turned slowly, pulled my head back, and aimed it straight at Serena's skull, making her drop the knife and tumble slightly forward. Had the closet been a little bigger, she might not have caused the door to push open, making all three of us fall out. The first face I saw was Zayn, a few meters away, eyes wide open with a terrified expression on his face.

What happened next, I will never forget. I looked to the left, where Serena right next to me had retrieved the knife, and came straight at me, a wild look in her eyes. Then pain.

Someone pushed Serena off me, and I didn't notice what happened to them. Somebody else pulled something out of my stomach, but the pain was still crucial. Did I scream? I'm not sure, but inside I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I heard voices. Someone said ambulance, somebody called my name. Somebody was screaming, and someone was crying.

My legs and wrists were untied and I held my hand to my stomach, and saw my white shirt was now a deep red. I saw Harry kneel down beside me, also untied and he took me in his arms. He was bleeding. I heard his sobs, and felt his tears on my hair as he continually kissed the top of my head, saying that he loved me. But the pain was too much, and soon everything went black.


* * *

Harry's P.O.V.

I ran through the hospital doors, right after the paramedics who had Lou on a stretcher. They hadn't let me go with the ambulance, but I had driven with the police car, so we arrived at the same time. Lou had passed out from the pain, before the paramedics arrived, but now I heard him screaming, and the sound cut through my ears and my heart.

"Is he okay? Tell me he is okay!" I shouted at the paramedics running off with him.

"Sir! You will have to wait! If the wound isn't too deep, he should be okay, but you have to wait out here!" One of them replied, and ran off with him, leaving me in the waiting room, where I was soon joined by Zayn, Liam and a nurse.

"Sir, come with me please, you have to get that checked." The nurse said, taking a hold of my arm, but I just stood staring at the doors Lou had just disappeared through.

"I have to wait for him!" I said, not moving.

"Harry, he will be in there for a while, you have to get checked!" Liam said sternly, but I wouldn't move. This was all my fault. He was in there because of me.

"Harry," Zayn approached me, and looked me straight in the eyes, "you've had a rough day, and I know this is hard for you, but standing here won't make Louis any better. That cut in your neck may not be big, but it could be deep, so please just go with the nurse.”

I put my hand up to the side of my neck, and flinched. I had forgotten about that. Serena's knife had managed to cut my neck, before she dropped it. I turned to the nurse, who was looking at me patiently, and I went silently with her.


* * *

The cut on my neck, wasn't deep, so I just got a bandage on, and then I joined the boys again.

"Is he still in there, have you heard any news?" I asked sitting next to Zayn.

"Nothing yet. I called Niall, he is on his way, I couldn't get a hold of Mag yet, but I'll try again soon." He replied, putting his phone away.

"What about Blair and Serena?" I asked, and the boys looked at me curiously, before Liam replied,

"Oh the two girls... The police have taken them in for questioning, and they have to talk to you and Louis when he's okay."

I just nodded, and thought about what I could have done differently. If he had just let me go through with my plan, he would have been fine. Why did he have to be a hero? Why did he have to get hurt? If I hadn't yelled at him, he would never have been taken, this would never have happened.

I left my seat and went to the hospital doors. I heard Liam and Zayn calling me, but I just ignored them, and walked out to the parking lot, falling to my knees, tears rolling down my cheeks.

I couldn't take it anymore. The last month had drained me emotionally. Georgina, Louis not feeling the same, our kiss, Louis not wanting to be with me, Louis getting kidnapped, and now he was hurt, and I didn't know had badly. And on top of this I was on tour and had to go and be happy and energetic on stage. At least our fans would never let us down no matter what. Besides our music, I felt like everything was falling apart around me, and I couldn't do anything about it.


I looked up, and saw Mag looking at me curiously, with a worried expression.

"Mag? How did you get here, I thought Zayn couldn't get hold of you?" I asked taking her hand, and pulling myself up.

"Yeah, I've been walking around town for an hour, and Zayn left a message on my phone, to come to the hospital, so I checked the map on my phone, and I was close by so I walked here. What happened? Are you alright? Did you find Lou?"

She asked examining the bandage on my neck, and all her questions made me dizzy.

"Yeah I found him. I'm fine... Zayn can explain everything." I replied, and we walked in to find Liam and Zayn.

* * *

Zayn's P.O.V.

I was talking to Liam, when I heard footsteps down the hall. I turned and saw Harry and Mag, and quickly stood up to go and hug her.

"Babe, how did you get here? Are you with Niall?" I asked taking her hand in mine. When I saw her expression, I was reminded of our conversation, and how strange she had sounded.

"No I got your message, and I was close by. Where's Lou?" She asked curiously looking around avoiding my gaze.

I was about to reply, but was interrupted by a loud yell,


Niall came running in, and jumped on Harry, almost making him fall over.

"Niall, it's only be like five or six hours!" Harry said, releasing himself from the Irish boy.

"But I was so worried about you! What happened to your neck? And Zayn told me that Louis got stabbed..."

"What?!" Mag exclaimed loudly, looking at Niall with wide eyes.

"Oh Mag, how did you..." Niall started, but Mag cut him off,

"Louis got stabbed! Where is he?!" "They're taking care of him babe, don't worry. Just sit, and we'll explain everything." I said calmly, helping her sit down.

Liam and I explained, how we had gone to the first place, which was a dead end, and then going back to the apartment building, where we found Blair's place, and how they had stumbled out of the closet and that girl stabbing Louis, before the police took her away.

Then Harry explained getting picked up, and taken there by this Serena, who apparently was the mastermind. He told us what had happened during those hours, and that they were Georgina's cousins, and then a terrible story that Louis had told him about the three girls.

By the time we were done, and everyone knew pretty much everything, we were all silent. This was a lot for one day, and it was only 6PM. Some of us hadn't slept all night, and the rest only had a few hours. Before anyone could say anything, a doctor came walking towards us.

"Are you all here for Louis Tomlinson?" He asked seriously, and Harry stood up right away,

"How is he?"

The doctor looked so serious, and I was actually truly worried until he finally said,

"Mr. Tomlinson’s condition is stable. The knife didn't hit any major organs, intestines or blood vessels, and the wound isn't very deep. He was very lucky indeed."

We all let out sighs of relief, before the doctor continued,

"He should be able to leave in a few days, and I'll be prescribing him some painkillers. He will be in a lot of pain at first, and he won't be able to be very active for about a month. I understand that you are on tour?" We all nodded.

"Well I'm sorry, but you'll have to postpone for a month, so he can recover properly. And he has to be checked once a week to make sure it isn't infected, so I would advise you to check into a hotel here, or you can go back to London in a few days, and I'll talk to the doctors there."

"We definitely have a lot to talk about then," Liam said, and we all groaned, "but we're very happy, that he is alright. Can we see him?"

We all looked at the doctor hopefully.

"Only two or three of you for now. He may be a bit disoriented, from the morphine, so you can't go in for long."

We all looked around at each other deciding who should go.

"Harry of course you can go," Liam said, and Harry smiled for the first time all day, as Liam continued,

"And I think Mag and Niall should too. They've been in the bus all day, waiting so it's only fair."

The three of them smiled, and hurried off with the doctor. I wanted to see Louis too, but Liam was right. It was only fair.

* * *

Harry's P.O.V.

The three of us walked in, and saw Lou lying in bed with a morphine drop. His hair was all messed up, and he looked so tired, but to me he was perfect.

"Oh look, it's you guys. How lovely of you to come."

I couldn't help but giggle at Morphine-Lou.

"Louis!" Niall exclaimed and went to hug him, but then remembered his wound and just patted his shoulder.

"We missed you so much. You and all your sass!" Niall said, messing up his hair even more.

"I've missed you too leprechaun. And of course Curly and the Macbook. Where are the other two? You know eyebrows and quiffyboy?"

Macbook, eyebrows and quiffyboy? Just how much morphine were they giving him?

"Only three of us were allowed. Are you okay Lou?" I asked, stepping closer and caressing his cheek.

"I'll be fine Haz. Really, I'm lucky to be alive apparently. Blondie could have done some serious damage."

Blondie? So he was even making jokes about the girl who kidnapped us, and attacked him.

"Macbook, why you all the way over there?" Lou looked at Mag, who was still standing shyly by the door.

"Hi Louis... I was just waiting..."

"For what?" He asked her chuckling.

"I just... I... I was so worried Lou!" She ran to him, hugging him tightly, being careful not to touch his stomach area.

Louis' face softened up, and the sass was gone, leaving a more emotional expression.

"It's okay Mag, I was only gone for like one day, and I'm fine now really." Louis said softly, and Mag pulled away, smiling slightly, wiping a few tears away.

"The doctor said, you're free to go in a few days, but we have to put the tour on hold for a month." Niall said, and Louis frowned,

"Yeah sorry about that..."

I scoffed loudly,

"What are you talking about Lou? Apologizing! None of this is your fault! None of this would have happened if I hadn't been such a twat, for saying those things..."

I drifted off, noticing the changed expressions of the three people in the room, and remembering exactly what I had said, that made him run out. Niall had the most awkward face ever, Mag looked very uncomfortable, and had stepped back from the bed. Louis' face however was indescribable, and not even morphine could take his mind off this.

"Um... Can I just talk to Lou alone?" I asked, looking down, and Mag and Niall left the room.

"We can talk about this another time you know? If you're not up for it." I said, hoping that he would want to talk now.

"It's fine Harry, we can talk now." He said smiling at me, but I could see the pain in his eyes, the physical pain, and it burned my heart.

"I just wanna know, like how you feel with the whole "us" situation? And about Mag." I said, getting straight to the point.

"Well Harry... When I was alone in that room, I did a lot of thinking, and I realized how worried I was about you, and when she threatened to kill you, I just lost it! I love you Harry, I really do... but I still like Mag. Not like before, I don't... love her in that way, but I just don't want to make any promises yet, until I'm completely over her. I hope you understand."

What Louis said, didn't surprise me, but it still made me sad, I just wanted to be with him, like before. More than before, but I had to respect his feelings.

"It's fine Lou. I understand, and I'm glad that you told me the truth. Just take your time, and focus on recovering, I'll always be here for you." I said with a smile, and just then the nurse came and said I had to leave.

* * *

Zayn's P.O.V.

We decided to check into a hotel close by the hospital, since we would be there for a while, and after a late dinner, Mag and I were lying on the bed in our room after a long day.

We were getting up early to visit Louis, and we also had to go to the police station with Harry, and talk about the tour. We were pretty exhausted, but I noticed that Mag was still in a weird mood.

"Babe, what's wrong? I can tell something is bothering you." I asked turning to her, pushing myself up on my elbow.

She sighed, still not looking at me, and replied,

"Niall and I talked to Tally today, and she told me something," I nodded for her to go on, "her and El met Perrie today, and Perrie said she missed you and wanted you back."

What? Perrie wanted me back, well I knew that, but why would that be bothering her? I told her, that I had no feelings for Perrie.

"And when you were gone and forgot your phone," she continued, "Perrie called. But I just don't understand... why you still have her number listed on your phone."

She turned to look me in the eyes. So that was the problem.

"I don't know... I mean, I never really thought about having her number on my phone..." I replied, but Mag clearly wasn't happy with my answer,

"Well I find that strange Zayn. She cheated on you, and usually when you break up over something like that, you would delete their contact. But I understand you are a busy person, and yet it is weird that in 3 months you didn't once scroll past her in your contacts and delete her?"

Mag was now angry, and sat up staring at me, but I just didn't know what to tell her,

"Babe, honestly there is nothing going on between me and Perrie!" I answered truthfully.

"I know Zayn... But just answer me one thing, did you delete her contact when you broke up?"

There was no way, I could wiggle myself out of this, I couldn't lie to Mag,

"Yes... I did delete her but..."

Mag interrupted me,

"But what Zayn? You deleted her, but now you have her number! Why do you have it, and how did you get it?"

I didn't answer, and she pulled on her sweatshirt, and headed to the door.

"Babe where are you going, it's 10PM!" I asked, and she turned around glaring at me,

"I just have one more question. With that stuff on twitter, and with this... Do you think I'm overreacting?"

She crossed her arms, and waited for my reply, but once again, I didn't know what to say. I understood that she got upset, but I did think maybe she was slightly overreacting.

"Well while you think about that, consider this. We've been together two weeks only. We had one argument, that lasted only a day, but just a couple days later something else pops up. It could be that I am overreacting, but maybe something else is triggering me to do so. So maybe we both should reconsider this, before a third thing comes up." She said, and walked out of the room, leaving me numb.

Did she just break up with me?

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