Loved You First

"Was it possible that all the signs, I had convinced myself were just my imagination, actually were real?

I just couldn't help but wonder how long she'd had feelings for him, even if they were subconcious.
I was sure that I loved her first, but at this point I actually didn't know who she loved first."

A few slightly sexual references (not smut, I don't do that)
A few slightly violent scenes
Use of strong language at times
SELF-HARM references in a couple of chapters


23. 'Reunited & Photos'


a short note, I have nothing against Perrie at all, I think she's great and if she makes Zayn happy, then I'm happy :) so don't hate me, for stuff that happens in this :b so finally I was able to write a longer chapter and please let me know what you think..

Enjoy, xoxo M. ;)






Chapter 18

"Reunited & Pictures"

"Harry! Do you have any comments on the Larry picture, that has been circulating twitter?"

One if the journalists asked, and I sort of froze. I really wanted to say, yes it is us and we're in love, but I couldn't. Fortunately, Liam came to my rescue,

"We will not be answering any questions, that don't concern the tour or the current illness of Louis Tomlinson!"

"What is wrong with Louis? Since it is so bad, that you're actually postponing some concerts?" A lady journalist asked, and Zayn replied,

"Louis had a sore throat after the concert last night, and it got worse during the night, so we had a doctor look at him, and he has been diagnosed with a throat infection.

The doctor's orders are for him to, among other things, stay in bed, and hopefully he will be better in a week, and by cutting some free days, we will quickly have the tour back on schedule."

"Zayn, what about your girlfriend, that you announced at your concert yesterday?"

"No questions that don't concern the tour..." Liam started, but Zayn interrupted him,

"It's alright Liam. Yes I have a girlfriend, we have known each other a while now, we've been official for about two weeks, and she is with us on tour. That's all I have to say on the topic right now."

As the boys answered questions about the tour and Louis, i sort of drifted off. It was almost eleven, and I had to be at Piccadilly in a little over an hour. I was nervous, but hopeful about seeing Louis, though I dreaded what would happen. I just hoped our plan would work out. It wasn't the most original plan, and there was a fair chance, it would go wrong, but it was our only chance.

The boys started to wrap up, and as soon as we left the building, I hurried to the car where Officer McGee was waiting.

"So I'll drop you off close to the station, so she doesn't see us, and just do as we planned. You ready for this?" Officer McGee asked me with concern in his voice.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I replied, and after saying goodbye to the boys and Mag who had come out from the bus, we drove off. It occurred to me, that I wasn't actually sure when I would see them again, and fear struck me.


Zayn's P.O.V.

After the press conference, Niall, Liam, Mag and I were sat in the bus, with the officers and detectives, with nothing to do but wait. Everyone was in a foul mood, and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Are we just going to sit here silently and wait?" I asked, looking at the gloomy faces around me.

"What else is there to do Zayn? We're not exactly in a cheerful mood right now." Liam replied clearly annoyed.

"I'm just as upset as the rest of you," I said getting up, "and I'm worried too! But it won't help anyone, that we all just sit here and sulk!"

"So what? You want us to act normal? Sit and play videogames and make jokes, while two of our best friends are out there, and we don't know if they're safe?"

Liam had a clear point, but it wasn't like Louis and Harry would be safer, by us sitting and waiting.

"All I'm saying is, I think it would be best if we all TRY to be positive and hopeful, and not act like zombies." I said, but Liam just ignored me. Niall however jumped on,

"You're right Zayn. Despite how worried I am, I think it would be best for our sanity to cheer up a little while we're waiting. And we need the fans to do that!"

He got up, fetched his laptop and sat down on the couch, as we looked at him curiously.

"Twitcam!" He exclaimed, and I rushed over to him, and sat down next to him, to get started. After announcing it on twitter, we waited a little before starting. Liam didn't join, and Mag was sitting and talking to him, trying to cheer him up.

"Hello everybody!" Niall exclaimed waving, trying to sound cheerful.

"So I'm sure most of you have heard about Louis being sick, and we're all concerned, but we're sure... He'll be fine soon." I said, having a hard time getting the words out.

"And we're sorry to everyone who was going to the concert today, and the ones that will be delayed, but don't worry, we'll see you soon!" Niall added, and I wondered if the fans noticed the grief in our voices.

"Where is Harry and Liam? Is Louis too sick to get up and join you?" I read one of the questions out loud, and looked at Liam, but he just looked away, so I replied,

"Harry is looking after Louis, he's very sick, so sorry you won't be seeing them today, and Liam will be joining soon." I smirked and Liam just glared at me.

"Harry is taking care of Louis?? Of course he is!" Niall read out loud, and I realized, what I had just said.

"Yes he is at the moment." I added, "we all take turns to look after Louis and keep him company, when he's not resting."

I noticed someone write "good save Zayn!" but chose to ignore that.

"So I can see a lot of you are asking about Zayn's girlfriend..." Niall said, and we looked at Mag, who turned to us with wide eyes, shaking her head.

"Maybe she should join us?" I said smiling, and a lot of people wanted to see her, but she kept shaking her head vigorously.

"Oh looks like she's shy," Niall said teasing her, "everyone who wants to see Mag, shout! No wait... we can't hear you..."

I wasn't actually sure if Niall was joking or being serious, but I just shook my head at him, and walked over to Mag.

"Come on babe, I wanna show you off." I whispered, taking her hand in mine and smiling, making her shiver.

"I'm too shy Zayn, you know that, and it's weird talking to someone I can't see." She said shyly, and I pretended to walk away, but lifted her up by the waist, making her scream, and sat her down next to Niall, trapping her between myself and him. She immediately covered her face, peaking through her fingers.

"Say hi to the viewers Mag!" Niall said removing her hand from her face and waving it at the computer.

"This... is so weird..." Mag said, making me laugh.

"Oh you'll get used to it! It's just like skyping with someone!" Niall said, and we both looked at him weirdly.

"Niall... What...? You usually see the person you're skyping with..." Mag said in a tone as if she was telling him Santa Claus wasn't real, but he seemed unphased, and just replied,

"Yeah, but only if they turn on the camera right?" He chuckled and winked at the viewers. Mag and I just stared at him weirdly, until we finally turned back to the thousands of viewers.

"So anyways, this is Mag! My girlfriend, who some of you might recognize from that picture on twitter. As you can see, she is not Louis' girlfriend. Tell them something about yourself babe!" I said encouraging her, and she waved slightly before talking,

"Um hi... I'm Mag..."

"And I'm Niall!" Niall interrupted, making me slap him across the head, and let Mag continue,

"Yeah so... Mag... That's me... I'm twenty years old, I've known Zayn and the boys for... like one and a half months, and I'm really grateful for this experience, going on tour with them, it's really amazing and... Oh thanks.. Katie Horan!" Mag said replying to a girl writing that she was really pretty. I was happy that some of the fans already liked her, though it was weird, since they had only seen a picture of her and didn't know anything about her.

"But this isn't a Maggie twitcam, so I'll just leave you guys to it!" Mag exclaimed, getting up from her seat, but I pulled her back down,

"You might as well stay babe!"

"Well... Only if Liam gets over her! Come on Liam, please?" Mag asked pouting.

"Lili is upset because Louis is sick, such a typical dad!" I explained with a smirk  and he glared at me, but finally joined us, putting a smile on his face.

* * *

After about one hour, one of the officers motioned for us to come over, and we ended the twitcam, which had gone fairly well. Now it was time to face reality again.

"What's going on?" Liam asked the officer, as we all looked at the computer monitor they had set up.

"Harry's moving." He answered in a very serious tone, and we all watched the green dot move further and further away from Piccadilly Station. Mag was squeezing my hand, and I looked her in the eyes; she was so worried. None of us knew what would happen now.


Harry's P.O.V.

Officer McGee dropped me off close by Piccadilly at 11.45, so at 12 o' clock, I was standing outside waiting, though I didn't really know what I was waiting for. I hoped she would recognize me, since I was pretty much covering my face and hair, so fans wouldn't come up to me, at this crucial moment. After 5 minutes, I received a text from Lou's number. Of course she was smart enough not to use her own phone. I opened the text, excited and scared at the same time.

"Go to the left until you see the black Hyundai blinking it's lights. Get in the back seat."

I turned left, and walked down the street, until I spotted a black car, with the classic Hyundai symbol in front, and looked closely, noticing the lights blinking. I didn't even hesitate before walking swiftly over to the car, and getting in the back seat with the dark windows. The girl in the drivers seat didn't have straight black hair, but wavy blonde and a typical Georgina hat and sunglasses. As soon as I had got in, the doors were locked.

"Are we being followed?" She asked coolly, and despite the different look, it was the same girl who had called me.

I shook my head, trying to see her in the rearview mirror, but the sunglasses were too big and dark.

"Good." She replied, pulling out to the busy street.

Even if anyone was following us, it would be hard, with all the black cars surrounding us. This girl was smart, and I could only hope she wasn't smart enough to frisk me. The plan had to work.

"Put on that blindfold next to you." She commanded and I did as I was told.

For about an hour we were driving, and at first I thought we might have been wrong, guessing she lived in the city, but then I realized she might be driving around to confuse me. Just like she tried to confuse us by calling from two different phone booths, out of town, far from each other.

Finally the car stopped, and I heard the door open. I was pulled out of the car, and we walked up a bunch of stairs, until I heard a door open, and was pushed in.

"B! I'm here!" The girl yelled, so apparently she wasn't alone. I just wanted to see Louis, make sure he was okay.

"Where's Louis?" I asked impatiently, but she ordered me to shut up, and led me through what I guessed was a hallway. Another door opened, and I was sat on a chair. I heard two girls whisper, and then the door close. I had no idea if they had left, or if I was in the room alone. But then I heard a familiar voice,

"Hello? Is there anyone here?"


Louis' P.O.V.

I had been awake for a couple hours, and been fed a sandwich by Blair, when Serena announced she was going, and would be back in about an hour. I knew she had also been out earlier, and I was really curious what she was up to.

Blair was keeping an eye on me again, but after a while, she suddenly got up, left the room, and came back and blindfolded me. Then I heard the front door, and Serena's voice. I could hear her enter the room, but she wasn't alone. I heard the door close, and wondered if anyone else was in the room, so I called out,

"Hello? Is anywhere here?"

"Louis! Is that you?" I heard Harry's voice from across the room, and I felt a rush through my body.

"Harry! Oh God, what are you doing here?" I asked, happy to have him close, but grieved that he was also captured.

"Well I got a call from whoever took you, saying to come to Piccadilly if I wanted you back, and now here I am. You have no idea how worried I've been Lou! You're not... hurt, are you?" Harry sounded so concerned, and his voice made my heart race, like always.

"No I'm fine... So how much do you know about the situation?" I asked, preparing my self to explain everything.

"Not much really, do you know who took you?" He asked, and I thought to myself that I knew alot more than who it was.

"Yeah, I know," I replied, holding a dramatic pause before continuing,

"Two Sparks sisters. Georgina's freaking cousins! One of them Serena is like the leader, and her sister Blair just obeys orders. Serena's been going out, so I guess she called you. It hasn't been awful, just very boring... I was, also worried what would happen if they got you... Plus... I really missed you Harry!"

I felt a pain in my chest as I said those words, but before he could answer I heard a snigger, and then a voice I loathed,

"Isn't that nice, the two lovers together again? Shame, you can't see each other though. What a clever idea I had!" Serena sad evilly. So she blindfolded us just to make it more painfull. What a bitch!

"Wait! You know..." Harry drifted off, as Serena laughed loudly before replying,

"About you and Louis? I have Louis' phone, I've read every single text between you two! God how could Georgie be so obsessed with such an idiot!"

"Well, now you have this idiot, what are you going to do with me?" Harry asked, and I wondered if he had come here without some plan of getting away.

"I don't know yet, I'm waiting for Georgina's call. So I'm gonna leave you for now. Blair take care of it!" Serena commanded and I heard her leave the room. A minute later my blindfold was removed, and I watched Blair walk over to Harry and removed his.

"Won't Serena be upset?" I asked, but Blair just shrugged and replied,

"Maybe I'm getting tired of her stupid games... But... I'm sorry Harry but you have to change clothes!"

Harry's eyes widened, as Blair took a shirt and pants out of a bag, and gave them to Harry, and untied him.

"Why?" He asked nervously.

"Because Georgina thinks you might have some tracking device on you, and I might be tired of her ideas, but I can't act against her twice in one day!" Blair replied, and turned her back on Harry so he could change.

I didn't really want to watch him change, in the state I was in, so I decided to stare at the floor. When he was finished Blair collected his clothes, and walked out.

"Shit!" Harry exclaimed, and I looked at him curiously.

"Serena was right!" He whispered, loudly enough for me to hear,

"I had a tracking device in my pants, and now she's probably going to drive my clothes off somewhere!"

So he had, had a plan! Too bad, it wouldn't work out. So we were now stuck here, with little hope of being found, great! At least we were together. I looked at Harry, and he was clearly in lack of sleep. Blair had now tied his wrists to the chair again, so all we could do was sit and look at each other, and it hurt me so bad, I just wanted to scream. And I did. At the top of my lungs, making Harry jump in his chair.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Serena exclaimed, barging through the door, "and why are you not blindfolded?" She snarled.

"Because your sister has some humanity!" I replied smirking, making her glare at me.

"Why were you squealing like a pig?" She fired back at me.

"Listen, we're not going anywhere! So can you just untie us, and lock the door instead, before I go crazy!" I exclaimed, hoping she would realise it was unnecessary to keep us tied up.

"You're not tied up because I'm afraid you'll escape!" She said, as if that was the most stupid thing ever, "I sort of enjoy, seeing you two suffer. Being so close to the one you love, but so far away at the same time..." She drifted off, and I knew she was seriously messed up!

"Behave yourself, and maybe later I'll reconsider!" She stated bluntly, and walked out slamming the door.

I looked at Harry, who was staring at me, sadness in his eyes. I had always wished nothing bad would ever happen to the fragile young boy, I cared so much for, but now here we were. Everyone would call Liam "Daddy Direction", cause he was supposedly the most mature and responsible, but noone looked after Harry more than me. Now I had totally messed up, and he was here because of me. Even if we got out of here, safe and unharmed, I would never forgive myself.

"I love you Haz... And I'm sorry." I said, knowing that he knew what I was sorry for. He looked at me, the sadness in his eyes slightly fading as he replied,

"I love you too Lou, and I always will... no matter what."


Maggie's P.O.V.

The green dot that was Harry, moved on the screen, fast enough to presume he was in a car, hopefully on his way to Louis. We waited for about an hour, until he stopped moving. The officer locked the position, and we waited a little longer to be sure.

10 minutes later, the dot started moving again.

"So now what? Why did he stop before?" I asked, hoping he was safe.

"I don't know, but we have to wait till he stops again." The officer answered, and we all groaned.

Another hour passed by, until he stopped, and this time, he didn't move for 15 minutes, so we decided it was time to move.

Well not "we" but the police. One of them stayed by, to get in touch with the rest, if there were any changes.

"I should go along!" Liam exclaimed getting up.

"No I should go along!" Zayn stated, walking towards the door.

"If you're going, so am I!" I said, walking up to Zayn.

"Babe it could be dangerous, you just stay here!" He said sweetly. It was cute that he worried about me, but patronizing at the same time.

"Listen, if any of you go along, you're staying in the car anyways! But we have to go now, and only two of you can come!" One of the officers said, so I gave up and agreed to stay with Niall. But I didn't let Zayn leave without a long passionate kiss, making everyone else cringe.

I knew they would be gone for a couple hours, but I was too worried to be bored, I just paced back and forth the little space on the bus.

"Hey Mag," Niall said cheerfully, which was weird considering the circumstances, "I'm gonna skype with Tally, you wanna join? You got along really well, when she came backstage in London, right?"

I nodded in response. Tally was so sweet, and I decided it wasn't healthy for me to go worrying all the time.

"Hi Niall! And Mag, how's everything going?" Tally said with a smile, her goldenbrown hair surrounding her round face. Apparently Niall hadn't told her what had happened. Management made it clear, that noone besides the band and police were to know about the kidnapping.

"Hey Tally! It's great to see you, we're doing okay, it's hard with Lou being sick." Niall answered, clearly uncomfortable about lying to her.

"Oh yeah, I heard about that, is he okay? Are people upset about the concerts?" She asked, truly concerned.

"He's... hanging in there... Liam and Harry went to pick up some medicine, for the pain... in his throat. And Zayn is watching him right now." I replied this time, so Niall didn't have to lie too much.

"Yeah, and the fans are supportive as usual, they're worried about Lou, and they know that they will all get their concerts." Niall added, this time telling the truth.

"Oh well, I really hope he gets better soon! Um... I really miss you... guys." Tally said blushing, and I knew she was shy about saying she missed Niall in front of me.

"It's okay Talls, I know you miss Niall, and he misses you very much!" I said smiling, making both of them blush.

We went on talking for a while, about random stuff, and Niall was excited to hear she might come to one of the Dublin gigs, if it wasn't too delayed, as she would be going there soon.

Suddenly her face turned serious,

"Um by the way, Mag, I met someone earlier today, and... Well, I thought I should tell you." She said hesitating with a uncomfortable expression, before continuing, "El and I went to lunch, and Perrie was at the same place. We ignored her at first, because of you know, what she did to Zayn... But she came up to us, and said that she really missed him, and it was the biggest mistake of her life, and wanted to get back together..."

Both Niall's and my eyes and mouth were wide open but she went on,

"So of course we reminded her that he has a girlfriend, and then she got pissed and said shit like you didn't deserve him, and she would win him back, because they belonged together. So then I said, it was really weird to cheat on someone you belonged with, and then she just glared at us and walked away. I just thought I should tell you."

"When did this happen?" I asked, still slightly in a state of shock.

"Well it's almost 4PM, so about two hours ago." She replied.

Zayn had been gone half an hour, and Perrie hadn't called while he was here. I knew he had the same number, as when they were a couple, so she definitely had the chance.

"Well she hasn't called him, so maybe she changed her mind." I suggested, but Tally was far from convinced,

"I doubt that. It sounded like she was waiting for the right time. You should tell Zayn." She said, and I just nodded and excused myself, so she could talk to Niall alone.

I wanted to talk to Tally, to cheer up, but she had added to my worries.

Louis was kidnapped, Harry might be too. Liam and my boyfriend were on a, maybe dangerous, rescuing mission, that could be a dead end. And my boyfriend's, famous, talented, beautiful ex was on a mission of her own.


I went upstairs to be alone with my thoughts for a while. My dream had turned into a nightmare and it was all my fault. If I hadn't shown up in the first place, there wouldn't have been any problems between Harry and Louis.

Louis wouldn't be confused, Harry wouldn't be sad, Louis wouldn't have run out and got kidnapped, the tour wouldn't be affected, and both the boys would be safe and sound touring with their perfect group. Instead everything was fucked up.

Perrie was right, I didn't deserve Zayn, neither did she, after she cheated on him, but he deserved better than me. Some common messed up girl who brings nothing but trouble and drama, and overreacts over little things. All the boys were better off without me.

I didn't even notice that my tears had started to fall, and suddenly I noticed something. Zayn's suitcase was up here, open, and there was a book in it, I hadn't seen before.

I walked over, and noticed it was a photoalbum. A beautiful leatherbound one. On the front was a gold engraving of the day we met, and our initials in a heart. I opened it up. On the first page was written, in a handwriting, I knew well,

"For the best two months of my life, and the girl who made it happen".

I quickly skimmed through the album, and noticed it was full of pictures from our first month together, all taken on his phone, which he must have got developed. Was he going to give this to me as a present on our two month "anniversary for meeting each other"? It was the sweetest thing, anyone had done for me. I went back to the first page, and looked at the picture under the writing. It was taken that first day, we went paintballing, by one of the employees there. We were all in our white suits covered in paint, smiling, but not looking at the camera, and I told Zayn that day what a great picture it was. But when I looked closer, I noticed things I hadn't seen before. Liam was standing at the far right, arms crossed proudly, the only one looking at the camera. It really was like he was a father, and we were the silly kids.

Next to him was Niall, clearly laughing in Louis' direction, which wasn't unusual either. But then there was the four of us.

 I noticed how Harry was gripping Louis waist, as if trying to pull him closer, and I saw the longing in his eyes as he smiled at Lou, who was looking the other direction.

On the far left stood Zayn, arms around my shoulders, huge grin on his face, and the same longing in his eyes as he looked at me.

In between Harry and Zayn stood Lou and I. Arms linked like two children, our heads facing each other, eyes locked on each other, both with smiles that reached our eyes, which were merely small slits. I had never noticed that. Harry holding on to Lou, staring at him longingly, Zayn doing the same with me, and then me and Lou smiling at each other.

 I decided not to analyze and turned to some other pictures. From the tourist day, from bowling, from gokarting, from karaoke night, from the park. A few silly random pictures from the hotel. Harry and Niall dressed in my clothes. Louis, just waking up, Liam cooking and stuff like that. Then there were pictures of Zayn and I. Some that he took himself, and some taken by others, like at El's party.

I noticed that almost all the group pictures shared something. Harry and Zayn were either holding tight on to me and Lou and/or looking at us longingly, but Lou and I were oblivious and were always laughing with each other. It was strange, because on the pictures without Lou, I was deeply into Zayn.

Then the mood in the pictures changed. The first few days at Harry's and Lou's had pictures similar to the previous, but something in them changed. Harry was still holding onto Louis, but his look was more possesive than longing. Zayn's grip on me was not clingy, but just loving. Louis' smile had faded slightly, and his eyes were filled with loss. I had turned all my focus on Zayn, and I realized what had triggered this change. The night Louis kissed me, and I turned him down, and discovered my true feelings for Zayn.

I turned to the last picture. It was taken backstage after the first London gig, the boys had just come off stage and Zayns arms were wrapped around my waist as we faced each other smiling, eyes full of love. Tally took that picture on my phone, and I had sent it to Zayn.

There were empty spaces for more pictures, and I realized there was still two weeks left until our "anniversary", so he had planned on filling it up. I wondered how that would turn out now.

I turned to the end of the book, noticing something folded up, and stuck in the last empty "pocket". I took it out, unfolded it, and when I realized it was a poem, I folded it again. I wasn't meant to see any of this, it was a present. Something he had worked on, every minute we were apart, and I ruined the surprise.

I was about to put the poem back in its place when I was startled by a sound, and closed the album shut, the poem slipping under the couch, that his suitcase was on.

It was a phone ringing, and I recognized the ringtone One Direction's Kiss You. Zayn had chosen it as his ringtone, because it was the song I was listening to, when he first saw he. He could be so cheesy sometimes. I searched for his phone, and found it under the sweater he was wearing earlier. The phone had stopped ringing, and I opened it to check missed calls, smiling for a second at the wallpaper of me and Niall happily holding the "extra cheese pizza" box from karaoke night. The memory of that made me laugh, but my smile vanished when I checked missed calls.

I wasn't surprised at who was calling, but I had expected a number, not a name. A name would only come up if you had the number saved on your phone, and I thought this persons number would be deleted. In stead every letter shined brightly, burning my eyes, dancing around as if teasing me.


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