Loved You First

"Was it possible that all the signs, I had convinced myself were just my imagination, actually were real?

I just couldn't help but wonder how long she'd had feelings for him, even if they were subconcious.
I was sure that I loved her first, but at this point I actually didn't know who she loved first."

*WARNING*
A few slightly sexual references (not smut, I don't do that)
A few slightly violent scenes
Use of strong language at times
SELF-HARM references in a couple of chapters

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8. 'Emotions'

A/N

Okay, so this chapter is sort of divided in two, after the introduction, because this is where we begin to learn two of the main characters feelings, and each “part” will have flashback to help understand. ;)

And if you like, or dislike, please comment specifically what you like, or don’t like.J

Enjoy, xoxo Mag

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Four

“Emotions”

Maggie’s p.o.v.

I couldn’t believe, what Zayn had just explained to me. This stalker thing was insane, she sounded flipping mental. I mean, she actually sent eyelashes! I thought that kind of stuff only happened in movies! It was crazy, and not to mention, totally gross.

“So what are you guys going to do now? I mean since you found you?” I asked quietly, not wanted to think of the fact, that she had mentioned me in her letter.

“Well let’s go see, what the boys have planned.” Zayn answered, standing up so we could join the boys in the other room.

“So I guess that’s what we’ll do?” Liam asked the others, as we approached, and they all nodded.

“What will we be doing now?” Zayn asked, sitting next to Harry, thought I stayed standing there awkwardly.

Liam looked at Harry, who cleared his throat before answering,

“Well for now we’re staying here, because obviously she doesn’t even know what room we’re in, and we’ll have more security called up,” I remembered the security guard by the door, but I hadn’t thought about it, since they were a famous boy band,

“That sounds okay, at least for the moment, but maybe…”

“I wasn’t finished,” Harry interrupted Zayn, and hesitated before continuing,

“We… Um… We think that it would be best, considering the circumstances, if… well… “

“We think Mag should spend the night here, for her own safety.” Liam finished what Harry couldn’t, and my eyes flew open.

What?” I exclaimed, being surprised yet another time this day.

“It’s really for your own safety.” Niall said quietly, and I could hear the fright in his voice,

“The stalker mentioned you, you know, “ Liam added, “and we don’t know how much she knows about you, she might have followed you to you hotel, and knows where you’re staying.”

“Or,” Zayn spoke up, like he just realized something, “Or she might follow you today, and confront or attack you! She’s crazy, we don’t know what she might do, and you have to stay!”’

I was processing this new information, going over the possible consequences if I stayed, and if I didn’t, when my line of thought was interrupted by Harry,

“Louis? You haven’t said a single word, what’s wrong with you?”

 

Louis’ p.o.v. ‘Stole My Heart’

“Louis? You haven’t said a single word, what’s wrong with you?” Harry asked me, and I was awoken from my daze, realizing I had to say something,

“I’m sorry I just… I don’t feel well. This whole situation makes me sick,” I looked at Harry, and Maggie who both looked frightened, “but of course Maggie should stay. For her own safety.”

I fought back the urge to get up and hug her, and comfort her and say everything was going to be okay. My mind sort of drifted off again, as the five others discussed the need of her to pick up a bag, and if sending a guard would be invading her privacy, since he would go through her stuff.

I picked up that Maggie was still a little apprehensive about staying her, as she didn’t want to be a burden, but I knew there was no point in her arguing with the others. Especially if Liam, thought something was sensible. I excused myself to Harry’s room, while they argued on.

Finally having some alone time, I lied down on the bed, going over my thoughts the past week. From the moment I saw Maggie’s scared face after frightening her that day, something inside me changed. Ever since we discovered the stalker a dark cloud hung over all our heads, but when I looked her in the eyes, every dark thought disappeared.

She had an effect on me, I hadn’t experienced before. She was like the opposite of a dementor from Harry Potter.  Her presence made me warm, every bad feeling and thought was sucked out of me, leaving only joy and happiness. But at the same time, I was sad, because she wasn’t mine, and she never would be.

I knew that Zayn was interested in her, as more than a friend, and that meant I could never make a move. One of the most important rules of friendship: never make a move on someone that one of your friends has his eye on. I could see how much Zayn liked her, and it was obvious, there was something on her side to.

Even I thought my feelings were deeper than Zayn’s, I couldn’t do anything about her because he “saw her first”. I didn’t want any of the boys, to know how I felt; I didn’t need pity from anyone. I remembered the exact moment, that I realized just how much I liked this girl.

** Flashback**

One week ago

The last few days with Maggie had been amazing. She was really fun to hang out with, and she actually triggered something in me, that made me come up with even crazier ideas than usual. Like when we decided to take a ride out of town, and Zayn had fallen asleep in the car. We stopped the car, let out Harry, Niall and Liam, then Maggie and I put on ski masks and “accidently” woke up Zayn. It was hilarious; he actually thought he’d been kidnapped.

We got along really well, Mag and I, only as friends of course. We would never be more than that, even though I felt kind of attracted to her, because I knew her and Zayn were on their way to becoming a thing. That day we boys were giving her a real tourist tour of London, and I knew she would love it. This city was full of places, and we would probably, get more crazy ideas.

On our way to the first destination, Westminster Abbey, I was driving and Mag was sitting in front, which had become her seat. We were joking and laughing, like friends do, and I noticed how pretty she looked that day.

Her wavy dark brown hair was loosely braided on one side, she wore very little makeup, but her eyes had a natural shine. They had a really special light brown color, very beautiful. Her cheeks were light pink, and so round and baby like when she smiled that wonderful smile of hers. It lit up a whole room, when she flashed her full smile. She was wearing light pink jeans, and a pretty baby blue shirt that hung loosely on her tanned shoulder. Like always, her colorful outfit was topped with her red vans. I loved how she always dressed casual but pretty and colorful.

Thinking about it, she had a very natural look that was unlike Zayn’s usual taste. He liked girls who wore makeup and dressed very stylish like Perrie. Maggie was stylish, but way more casual and cool than chic and fashionable, and any makeup on her was hardly visible. She really didn’t look like any other girl Zayn had been with, and she suited more with someone like Niall… or me. I got a weird feeling in my stomach at that thought. Not a bad feeling, just strange and unfamiliar.

Throughout the day, that feeling increased, every time I talked with Maggie, every time she looked me in the eyes, when we laughed together or when she smiled at me. Whenever she was with Zayn, I caught myself feeling bitter, thinking again that she wasn’t his type. I had no idea what was happening with me. Until our last stop that day.

We arrived at Buckingham Palace, and Maggie pulled me towards the guards.

“Come on Lou, we have to make them laugh! They haven’t caught a chance against me and you together!” saying that, she turned around, smiling, looking me in the eyes and it hit me “bam!” like a bus! I understood the feeling in my stomach, the resentment towards her and Zayn. I was falling in love with my good friend, and when she turned around with that smile, her eyes twinkling, it had been the final blow.

She stole my heart, with just one look.

** End of flashback **

“What’s up Lou? You alright?” Liam asked entering the room, and I sat up, pushing my thoughts aside. We had more important things to think about, than girls we couldn’t have,

“Yeah I’m fine, just needed a minute, so where’s Maggie?”

“She’s in the room with the others. Harry and Zayn convinced her that she didn’t need to pick anything up, because they have everything at this hotel, you know. Towels, pajamas, toothbrushes and all that stuff. Now they’re just discussing, if they should send someone out for Nando’s or not.” Liam chuckled at the last thing he said, and I couldn’t even begin to imagine what Niall’s reasons were for why we needed Nando’s.

 

Zayn’s p.o.v. ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply’

I was happy, that Maggie finally agreed to spend the night with us. That meant we would have all day together and all night, so we could have a movie night or something, but really anything was perfect if she was there.

I started to feel guilty, that I was so happy about this, because the reason why she was staying was actually quite dangerous. Truth was that since Liam mentioned she should spend the night, I hadn’t given Harry a single thought, and now I felt awful about it. He had this crazy psycho after him, and I was more interested in, how much time I could spend with my crush.

Well actually, she was becoming much more of a crush, I was really falling for her. Even though she was different from girls I usually liked, she had really gotten to me. I would usually notice, and fall for, these girls with the whole makeup, model, fashion look, like Perrie, and Mag was the opposite of that. Maybe that’s why I liked her so much.

Perrie had lied to me, betrayed my trust and broken me, and now I had met someone who was totally different. It all started to make sense. Why would I go after someone who reminded me of being hurt?

** Flashback **

Two months ago

“Just leave me alone Perrie, I don’t want to talk to you right now!” I yelled angrily, slamming the bedroom door in her face.

“Zayn please, I’m really sorry! It was a mistake; you know I would never hurt you!” Perrie pleaded, but I didn’t care. Nothing she said could change what she did.

“I was drunk, and I didn’t think about what I was doing, it was just this once…”

“Just this once?” I interrupted her still not opening the door,” haven’t you lied enough Perrie? You really think lying more will help you right now? I told you, Harry told me everything. How he found out, how he confronted you, and how you, under pressure, confessed that “this one mistake” happened three times! With three different guys Perrie! How could you say you love me, and just shit on my feelings?” I now opened the door, and stared in her eyes, that were starting to well up, but I continued,

“You cheated on me. Then you did it again. And then one more time. Then you hid it from me, for weeks, for months, and then my friend found out, and gave you a chance to tell me yourself, but you didn’t care and I had to hear it from my friend! Now you just lied to my face! You what Perrie, if you don’t care about this,” I gestured between me and her,” then neither do I.” I held eye contact with her for ten seconds, before finally saying,” I’m away. Deal with it.” Then I walked away without looking back.

** End of flashback **

I hadn’t talked to Perrie, since that day, and she didn’t try to contact me, so I guess she got the point. It had been hard and painful in the start, but now I was finally ready to move on.

“Zayn, are you okay, you look pretty tense?” Mag looked at me with concern in her eyes, and it made me feel so warm inside.

“Yeah babe, just thinking, I’m fine,” I replied with a smile.

“Well, I have to make a few calls, can I use your room?”

I nodded, and she smiled in reply, before walking away leaving me with my thoughts again. Harry was playing a videogame with Niall, but I didn’t even notice which one, and Liam and Louis were still in Harry’s room. This meant I could really think things over.

When I saw Maggie sitting on that bench in the park, I had been attracted right away, physically. But now after about only two weeks, I already felt another connection with her, on a more emotional level. It was like I needed her around me all the time. Even now, she had been in my room for about five minutes, but I was already looking longingly at the door.

Whenever she wasn’t around me, I felt helpless and empty inside, like she was a part of me that I shouldn’t be without. Every time I heard a love song on the radio, and I would think how it now made perfect sense. I had never felt this way with Perrie; that had been more physical attraction, with a hint of feelings. But with Mag now, everything about her just got to me. When she walked through the room, towards me I lightened up, and when she walked away I felt a little dark cloud over me. When she turned to me while laughing, I swear she looked like an angel, the way her face lit up. Her eyes connected with mine, in such an intense way that I could see her soul. To me, she was just perfect, and I couldn’t imagine ever finding someone like her again.

Now she came out of the room, and as she walked towards me I realized was truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love with her.

 

 

 

 

 

A/N

Okay, so I know not much is happening in these past few chapters, but I really wanna establish everyones feelings, before Things really get started. Be patient, people cause Things are gonna start to fire up soon ;)

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