(Silent)

Rose has been quiet all her life. She has a mysterious past that has something to do with everyone to hate her. But what happens when five new boys move into town and starts to take an interest in her?

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3. Self Discipline

Rose’s POV

I woke up the next morning, and Liam was gone. Suddenly, I heard voices from downstairs. They were quite loud.

“How could you do that, mate? You know we liked her!!”

“Says the ones who were yelling so loud that she cried!”

I couldn’t take this anymore. How could I let myself be so vulnerable? I remember talking last night. Bad Rose. You know better than to talk in front of people. You shouldn’t even be here. You barely know them. They’re just going to play with you. They’ll hurt you even worse than any kid in seventh grade.

The voice in my head was driving me crazy. I think I know how to make her quiet for a while. It usually works. I searched Liam’s room, eventually finding what I was looking for. A pocket knife. I walked to Liam’s bathroom and locked the door.

Bad Rose. I dragged the knife over my other scars. I started to hear the voices of the kids from middle school.

~flashback~

“Hey guys!” I said, sitting down at the lunch table. Everyone started laughing.

“What’s so funny?” I asked; a bit confused. They laughed harder.

“Seriously guys, what’s so funny?” I repeated.

“It’s just, you’re talking”

“You can’t do that”

“Yeah, slut losers like you can't talk”

"Get out of here you ugly slut"

I stood there, speechless. How could the people I’ve been friends with since kindergarten be saying this? Then again, what I did was pretty bad, but it happens to everyone at one point in their life

“That’s better. Keep that up, it's the only way sluts like you will get through life”

~end of flashback~

There were several fresh scars on my wrist now, so I washed the blood off both my arm and the knife. I walked out of the bathroom, and carefully placed the pocket knife exactly where I found it.

I quietly made my way down the stairs, and realized that the boys were still yelling. I could feel more tears coming to my eyes again, and remembered what had happened later on that terrible day.

~flashback~

“How was your day, sweetie?” my mum asked when I walked through the door

“Terrible, some mean kids-” I started.

“WHY HAVEN’T YOU DONE THE DISHES YET?!” my dad yelled from the kitchen to my mum.

“I TOLD YOU TO DO THEM”

“NO YOU DIDN’T, YOU SAID YOU WOULD DO THEM”

“IS THIS ABOUT LAST NIGHT?”

“WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?”

“Mum? Dad?” I asked.

“SHUT UP AND GO TO YOUR ROOM, ROSE!” they yelled simultaneously.

~end of flashback~

They always used to yell at each other over stupid things like that. Every time I tried to say something or if I even walked into the room when they were fighting they would both yell at me to either shut up, go to my room, or both.

I wiped the tears away, and walked into the dining room. The five boys all had their backs turned to me, yelling at each other.

“Um, guys?” I asked quietly. Bad idea, they’re probably going to tell me to shut up. Tears started coming back to my eyes, but I blinked them away.

The room went silent, and they all turned to me. Here it comes.

“Rose, I am so sorry,” Liam said, walking up to me and wrapping me up in a hug. Wait, what??

The other boys mumbled apologies, and I was soon in the middle of a group hug.

“What were you guys yelling about?” I whispered.

“Nothing important,” Louis said.

I looked at them questioningly, but brushed it aside.

“I’ll go make pancakes since its Saturday, Rose, would you like to join me?” Harry asked, breaking the awkward silence.

I nodded, and he grabbed my hand and led me to the kitchen, which was closed off from the dining room. He got out a large glass measuring cup, and a large pan.

“These boys eat a lot, so we need a ton of batter, can you get the ingredients?” he asked. I slowly nodded, but I’ve never made pancakes before, so I had no idea what to look for.

I stood in front of the pantry for about five minutes before feeling Harry come up behind me and stand really close.

“Have you ever made pancakes before?” he asked. I shook my head and looked at my feet. Stupid Rose, who doesn’t know how to make pancakes?

“That’s okay, I’ll show you,” he said.

Well I didn’t see that coming. He reached past me, his face close to mine as he turned to me and grabbed the pancake mix at the same time. He wrapped his arm around my waist, and pulled me over to the sink. Harry filled up the glass measuring cup a little less than halfway, and handed me a smaller plastic measuring cup.

“Put five scoops of batter in the bowl,” he whispered. I did what he said, then grabbed the whisk on the counter.

“You’re stirring wrong, silly, let me help you,” Harry said softly, grabbing my hand that held the whisk.

You’re so stupid Rose, why can’t you even stir right? What is wrong with you? It’s true. I am stupid. Why do these guys like me so much? They’re probably just trying to get close to me so they can just make it hurt more.

I’ll go along with it, but I’m putting a wall up. No more soft hearts.

Harry stirred my hand around, and soon enough, we poured the batter into the pan. After making at least 20 large pancakes, I grabbed the large plate, and brought it out to the rest of the boys.

“Pancakes!” Niall yelled when he saw me. He ran up, grabbed about 8 pancakes, and sat back down, immediately digging into the food. I giggled, and walked over to the table, setting down the plate. The boys attacked it, and there was only one left for me.

I took tiny bites, and only ate about half. Geez Rose, how could you eat so much of that pancake? That will make you so fat. God, what the hell is wrong with you?

The voice in my head was back. But she’s right, I shouldn’t have eaten this much food. Bad Rose.

“Are you going to eat the rest of that?” Niall asked.

I shook my head, and he took the plate.

“Hey, what do you guys want to do today?” Harry asked.

I motioned to the door, and started to head towards it.

“Leaving so soon?” Zayn asked, and I nodded.

“See you on Monday!” Niall said as I waved at them and walked out the door.

I walked down the street, and soon made it to my house. Once I got there, I ran to the bathroom. The voice in my head was screaming at me.

You’re fat and ugly and a slut and a terrible person. Why don’t you just die? You don’t deserve to live. What is wrong with you? There must be no god because he wouldn’t have made a creature as terrible as you.

Why won’t it stop? Is there something wrong with me? I must be insane. Maybe I should put myself out of my misery. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.

I grabbed the knife that I hide in the bottom drawer. One last cut; that’s all I need.

I slid the knife across my wrist, digging harder than ever before. Just in case this wasn’t going to work, I need a back-up. I stumbled over to the medicine cabinet in the kitchen, and took out the sleeping pills. I poured all of them into my hand, and was about to swallow them, when I heard a knock at the door.

“Rose, you left your stuff in my room, its Liam,” I heard from the front door.

“Go away,” I yelled without thinking.

I heard the door open, and Liam yelling my name as I blacked out and collapsed, pills still in my hand.

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