Hidden Secrets

Harry and Emily have always been best friends, even when Harry left to fulfill his dream of being a singer but when Harry comes home for the summer will Emily be able to tell him her secret or will it stay hidden forever?

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23. Chapter 23

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Chapter 23

 

It had been two days since the shop incident and I haven’t spoke to Harry since, we had only exchanged a few glances but other than that we had stayed clear of one another. Gemma had tried to get the two of us to talk but it just wasn’t happening apart from tonight.

Harry had planned our ‘date’ or whatever this meal is tonight and hadn’t called it off so I was assuming it was still going ahead which I didn’t mind, we needed to talk anyway.

So here I was getting ready for my meal out with Harry, I decided to wear a skater skirt and white top with my vans and straightened my brown hair.

I was positive this meal would be awkward at times or probably all of the time but I didn’t want to call it off because that would cause more arguments.

I straightened out my skirt and gathered my hair and pulled it onto my right shoulder. I decided to wear my bracelet Harry had gotten me as a birthday gift and the necklace my parents gave me.

I grabbed my phone and purse and walked over to my bedroom door but as I went to open it there was a knock that sent waves of nerves through my body, it was most likely Harry. I took a deep breath to calm myself and opened the door to reveal Harry dressed in black skinny’s and a white top showing his various tattoos on his skin.

“Uh are you ready to go? I mean if you still want to go.” Harry stutters and I nod.

“Y-Yeah.” I smile slightly as I walk out of the door with Harry following behind.

The car ride was silent apart from the music playing on the radio, great it was already awkward.

I was relieved when we arrived at the Greek restaurant, Harry told the man at the front desk his name and we were led to a table in the back of the restaurant which Harry must have asked for.

The only time we spoke was when we were ordering our food and drinks and by the time the drinks had come I was sick of us not talking so spoke.

“I-I’m sorry.” I stutter and he finally looks up from playing with the salt and pepper pots.

“What for?” He asks quietly.

“For being pissed at you the other day, you told the fans the right thing because we aren’t together and I’m sorry for giving you mixed signals ” I explain quietly, turning away from him to focus on my glass of coke.

“B-but we could be together.” I hear him whisper and I almost choke on my own breath. I shake my head as I look back at him, his eyes change from being filled with hope to disappointment and I feel guilty. Guilty for leading him along when I knew we could never be together. “Why not Emily?” He pushes me for an answer.

“B-Because it wouldn’t work.” I say before biting my cheek to stop tears from filling my eyes.

“How? I know we’d be apart for long periods of times but Eleanor and Louis make it work and-“ He begins but I stop him.

“It’s not that Harry.” I tell him quietly and he stops talking.

“Then tell me why it wouldn’t work.” He says looking deep into my eyes and I knew I would have to tell him.

“Because I have…cancer.” I finally tell him.

“Emily that wouldn’t affect our relationship.”

“Yes it would but you just don’t get it, I’m dying Harry, each day that goes by is just one more that I’ve luckily won, but one day I won’t win and I’ll be gone. I’ll have left you and I can’t do that to you Harry, I can’t leave you alone when you mean so much to me.” I explain, tears threatening to spill and Harry goes silent for a few moments taking in what I had just said.

“I won’t let you leave Emily, please just give me a chance.” He begs me and I could see hope in his teary green eyes and I almost fall for them but snap out of that trance and remind myself I couldn’t do that to him.

“Wouldn’t you want to live the rest of your life happily? Without any regrets?”

Gemma’s voice pops into my head and I knew she was right, I do want to live the rest of my life happily and without regrets and that would mean being with Harry.

No, no I can’t be with him, I can’t.

 

“I’m sorry Harry…” I stutter and all of the hope in his eyes disappear as he stands from his seat. “W-Where are you going?” I ask but he doesn’t reply, instead he slaps some money down on the table and heads for the exit with me trailing behind almost in tears and I knew we were causing a scene.

As we get into the car and drive back to the villa I continue to tell Harry how sorry I was but he ignored me and continued to drive in silence.

Why am I such an idiot?

“Harry I’m sorry.” I cry as he pulls up at the villa and he finally speaks.

“It’s fine Emily, it doesn’t matter anymore.” His voice cracks and he climbs out of the car, slamming his door before storming off to the villa.

Nothing about us right now was fine.

 

Harry’s P.O.V

 

I kick my shoes off as I enter my room and lock the door behind me, collapsing onto my bed.

Why didn’t she believe that I wouldn’t let her go? I love her too much to do that and she didn’t believe me. I didn’t care whether she had cancer or not, I would still want to be with her, I want to be able to call her mine, protect her from anything that could ever hurt her. But that couldn’t happen, she didn’t even want to be with me.

I just didn’t understand her, one second she’s upset that I didn’t tell the fans we were together and then the next she’s telling me she doesn’t want to have a relationship with me but I’ve given up now. She’s won, I won’t bother to impress her anymore or try to make her mine, she doesn’t want me so why should I want her?

I hear Gemma knocking on my door continuously whilst asking me to open it so she could go inside and when I finally yell at her to leave me alone the knocking and calling ends and I’m alone.

Alone, that’s what I’ll be for the rest of my life, alone. I’ve tried to be in relationships with other people but it never felt right. Even though me and Emily promised one another we would never date back in year 9 I couldn’t help but fall for her more and more every single day,  I wanted to be hers not someone else’s, just hers but my chances with her narrowed from slim to zero and I hated that.

After hours of thinking and becoming angry with myself for not trying hard enough to win her over sleep finally consumes me and all of my problems in life disappear from my mind.

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