The Boss

This is the diary of a London career girl. Scarlett Jones. Regrettably single and most mornings hung over she decides to get her life on track and begin a diary with two simple resolutions. One: Loose 20 pounds. Two: Find the perfect man.

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1. Turkey curry

It was December the 25th. Christmas day known by most but for me it was the time for my not so thrilling mother's annual Turkey Curry buffet.

The taxi came to a halt as I approached the familiar, old cottage door before being over-excitedly greeted by my mother. Though I love her, I sometimes wonder if her mind is stable. "There you are Dumpling, come in".

"Hi Mum." I replied. "Hello Scarlett, Brenda where should I put the mini meatballs" My auntie Amanda shouted through from the doorway. "3rd shelf down from the mini gherkins". With a nod she left me to my mother who was helping me with my suitcase from the snowy front doorway.

"By the way the styles' family are here. They bought their oldest son Harry with them" Ah here we go,  every year my mother has experienced several failed attempts to set me up with another stuck-up, rich bore, I roll my eyes.

"You remember Harry? You used to play in his paddling pool, Lives in London, very well-off" she winks. I was correct another rich bore.

"No, I don't remember" I sarcastically spoke whilst removing my Topshop scarf.

"Well, he is actually fresh on the market, newly divorced" 

Moving on quickly and taking my coat from me, an unimpressed expression forms on her face as she scans my body, head to toe.

"Anyway what are you going to put on" referring to my already chosen outfit. Living in London I am fully up to date with fashion trends though they seem not to fore-fill my mothers' taste in style. 

"This" I scan down my own body stating my choice.

"Oh dont be silly Scarlett, remember the styles' are here. You'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you've just stumbled out of bed. Now run up stairs, I've laid out something lovely on your old bed"

As much as I knew her choice of clothes for me are hideous, I choose to wear them anyway as I know my mother would be disappointed and well it's usual for me to be publicly humiliated.

Taking my last step of the stairs, I immediately regret ever coming down as I tug on the not so stretchy cloth I seemed to be modelling. "I was wearing a carpet" I thought to myself.

Enthusiastically, I was greeted firstly by my rather perverted uncle who wasn't my uncle but insisted I used the title to address him anyway.

"There she is, my little Scarlett." He approaches me in a rather drunk manner, with open arms.

"Hi Uncle Jeffrey" I manage to say as he sloppily kisses my left cheek. "Wan' a drink" he speaks far to close to my face but I choose to ignore the overly close proximity.

"Oh, Yes" As I turn to walk he joins and places his hand on my bottom not so discretely. I cringe. We make out way up to my family's mini bar.

"So, how's your love life" he pours my drink and purrs to me whilst asking me the question dreaded by all singletons. "Super, thanks Uncle j" I lie. "Still no further then ey? I don't know" He knows I'm lying and shamefully declares it in his posh accent.

My uncle's partner Aunt Amanda creeps her way into the conversation that I wish to leave "New career girl, can't put it off forever you know?" she insinuated my love life.

Uneasily laughing to cover up how true I know she is, I turn away from the conversation and walk up to my dad. He is the only one I know similar to me in which we both share jokes about my mothers craziness.

"Hello Dad" I approach him. "Hello Darling" He seemed pleased and relieved to see me as he kissed my cheek and hugged me. "How's it going?" I ask as I know he will feel the same as me.

"Torture" he quite bluntly puts it. I smile as he smokes on his cigarette, glaring over at my mother who is chatting over excitedly to my Aunt Amanda in the doorway.

"Your mothers' trying to fix you up with some divorcee', publisher in London, nasty beast apparently." He muttered under his breath as I rolled my eyes, my father warned me of my mothers hopes. 

Later on I stood leaning on the wall thinking of why I am still here when I could be sat in my flat drinking wine whilst doing nothing with my non-existent boyfriend.

As I took a puff on my cigarette, I leaned to see the back of a rather attractive looking male with lush chocolate brown curls "Ding dong" I thought to myself. My mother might have got it right for once in her life.

"Come on, lets go and see if Harry fancies a mini gherkin" She breaks me out of my thoughts and  holds the silver platter holding the gherkins. I realise the male I was checking out was Harry.

"Good Luck" my father whispers as I walks by him, I give him an uneasy look. 

"Harry!?" My mother embarrassingly coos over to him. I  still hold my cigarette as I approach him. Maybe this was the mysterious Mr right I've been waiting my whole life to meet?...

As he turns he looks at both of us with a blank expression "You remember Scarlett?" My mother questions.

As I look at his choice of clothing which is a woolly reindeer Christmas jumper, I answer my own question mentally "Maybe not..."

"She used to run around your lawn with no clothes on, remember?" Oh lord. Trust my mother to be this embarrassing. I disconnect eye contact with him to try and lower my embarrassment.

"Er, no not as such" he looks down awkwardly again pulling a blank expression. He seemed to fancy himself... to much, what a waste of my time...

"Come and look at you're gravy Brenda I think it's going to need sifting." My Auntie Amanda demands in attempt to leave me and this Harry 'alone'. 

"Course it doesn't need sifting... just stir it Amanda." My mother dumbly replies as Aunt Amanda raises her eyebrow and winks at her. So she finally realises.. oh mum. "YES, of course Amanda. I will be right there, sorry, lumpy gravy calls" she jumps in realisation.

Leaving us to awkwardly just stand there, in attempt to break the unwanted tension Harry holds against me, I begin conversation. "So?..." I take another drag of my cigarette.

"So." he bluntly replies with no emotion what so ever displayed on his face.  "Are you staying at your parents for new year?" I finally manage to conjure up what to ask.

"Yes, you" he says in a tone communicating to me 'I really don't want to speak with you'.

"Oh no no no, I was in London, at a party last night. So, I'm afraid I'm a bit hungover.. wish I could be lying with my head in the toilet like normal people do" I laugh at myself as he just stands there arrogantly looking at the floor with no concentration of what I am saying to him. 

I begin to ramble on. Oh Lord. Scarlett STOP. "New year's resolution. Drink less, oh and quit smoking." I look down and laugh at myself once again with no response from Harry.

"oh haha, and keep new year's resolutions..." I awkwardly stand there holding up my cigarette and half consumed white wine

"And haha... err stop talking total nonsense to strangers, In fact stop talking full stop." I laugh lightly as I poke his chest playfully as he almost scowls at my gesture. What an idiot.

"Yes, well, perhaps it's time to.... eat" Harry thinks of an excuse to leave the not so flowing conversation with me. RUDE I mentally cursed. "Hmm" I smile and nod as he looks down and quite eagerly walks away from me and my alcohol, cigarette and carpet outfit.

As I approach the turkey buffet table I see Harry and his mother quite closely having conversation together. I manage to slyly eavesdrop.

"Apparently, she lives just round the corner from you." His mother does her best to fix him up with me just like my mother is. He quickly replies.

"Mother, I do not need a blind date, particularly not one that is a verbally incontinent spinster who smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish and dresses like her mother" I drop the spoon back into the curry rather loudly.

His mother turns to look at me from the other side of the table and his head follows, they realise I am listening in as I try to act as if I haven't heard a thing, as I wished I hadn't..

"Yummy" I smile as I pick up the spoon and scoop some rice onto my plate. "Turkey curry... my favourite" I say not so convincingly as they both watch me silently.

And that was it, right there, right there, that was the moment, I suddenly realised that unless something changed soon, I was going to live a life where my main relationship was with a bottle of wine. 

And I'd finally die of that. Alone. and then I'd be found three weeks later, half eaten by Alsations.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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