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"He lets go of me, looking sadly down at his toes for a moment.
Then his facial expression changes and it goes hard.

He looks over his shoulder to make sure no one is looking, and then he graps my arm, hard, and pushes me up against the nearest wall. I feel the cold, hard brick wall against my back and Zayn is like 3 cm from my face. His hands are resting on the wall on either side of my head.
I cannot move and I feel completely trapped. I can feel his body heat and his hot breath on my face.
I shiver. He scares me, but at the same time he is god damn sexy.

"Who have you talked to? Are people talking?" How does he even expect me to answer this when he's literally crushing me up against a fucking wall?"

A fanfiction about a new girl and the bad boy, Zayn Malik.


20. Traumatized

Harry's POV

With a tight grip around the strap of my backpack, I knock on Louis' front door. 

He hasn't been answering any of my calls ever since Saturday, and it makes me feel all empty inside. 

We had never really talked about getting public, I mean it was just our private thing. And now I have no idea whether he wants to break up with me, or just having some bad days. Also I had no idea that it would be affecting me so much - that I's care so much.

It's not like Louis at all, to skip school and not wanting to see his friends - and me for that matter. He's so loud and happy, living life to it's fullest. I wish I was more like him sometimes. 
I think way too much. 

The door finally opens, but it's not Louis opening, it's his mum. 
- "Oh hello Harry, what can I do for you? You must know Louis is sick," 

- "Yea I know, but I just need to talk to him," I take a step towards the door, but Louis' mum doesn't move, blocking the entrance. 

- "I don't think it's a good idea, he's quite moody, I'm sure he'll be all right, give him a couple of days," 

- Oh ok, tell him I stopped by?" I say, trying not to sound too disappointed. 

- "Sure, bye love," She closes the door again, leaving me with my unanswered questions.

To be honest I never really liked Louis' mum. and I'm sure it's mutual. She's very uptight and strict. Not at all like my mum. 
I'm sure if Louis' mum found out about the two of us, she would never let us see each other again. 

In this town people gossip, and wound't it be a shame if suddenly your son walked around hand in hand with his boyfriend?

I walk back, the soles of my shoes scraping against the pavement of the small path leading out his front yard. 

Chewing on my bottom lip, I change my mind, and turn around to walk over the grass.

Luckily Louis' curtains are not closed. It's dark in his room, only the lamp over his bed is lighting up. 
My nose touches the window, while I try to block out the reflection of the sky behind me with my hands.

Louis is lying shirtless on his stomach on his bed. He has his headphones in, and seems to be flipping through a magazine. I observe the way his head moves with the music, and the way his soft lips mouths the lyrics.  

He looks so beautiful and perfect peaceful, that I can't get my self to ruin this moment and knock on the glass on the window. 

I leave him there, and walk across the lawn again. He seems to be doing fine without me. 

I walk home with my head held low.


Zoe's POV

After speaking with Harry on the phone for approximately 30 minutes, and skyping with Kayla for an hour, I try to call Louis. 
Harry told me not to, but I have to let him know that I'm ok with it, and that he's hurting Harry by ignoring him.

I call twice but doesn't pick up, so I let him be. 

Zayn had to stay at school, because his student advisor had called him in. I didn't ask why.

I turn on my TV, and sit on my bed with my laptop on my lap. I have an English paper due friday, but I'm struggling with it already. 

I have only written two sentences in the Word doc, when I receive a text from Sexy Zayn <3

- Hey babe, what r u doing? :) x

English paper :/ You? 

He answers right away.
Nothing. Want company? :P

You good at English? :*
I have no idea, since we only have art together, but I can't imagine him being very motivated in school in general.

Well not really, but I can be your sexy motivation ;) 
A giggle escapes from my throat. 

Always so full of yourself? :P

You don't have to play so hard to get babe ;) Be there in 5.



- "Are you reading that at all?" I ask Zayn, who's supposed to read the article I'm writing about, since he wanted to help me out. 

- "It doesn't make much sense," 

- "I know right?" I roll my eyes. 

Zayn is lying flat on my bed, with an arm behind his neck, and the article in the other hand, while I'm lying next to him on my stomach, slowly typing on my laptop. 

I'm not used to having a guy in my room. I've never had a boyfriend, only boy friends, but we didn't really hang out at each others places, and we were never really alone. We were always a group of friends hanging somewhere in town, or just us girls.

It feels weird to have Zayn in my room alone, so close to me. On my bed. He doesn't seem to think much about it, just seems to feel like home. I'm glad, or else it would be awkward.

- "What was is with the student advisor anyway?" I ask, still looking into the screen of my laptop. 
Zayn sits up and shifts his weight onto him elbows. 

- "Nothing serious, just got a lot of catching up to do, you know, from last year," He shrugs. The light streaming in through the window, creates a halo around his beautiful silhouette, and makes him look almost angelic. I don't ask further. 

- "Have you spoken with Harry and Louis?" His lips form a cheeky grin. 

- "It's not funny," I say, protecting my friends, but Zayn's grin is too contagious.

- "And it's not like they were just kissing, I mean it looked like it was pretty heated, " He tries to hold his laugh back, with a hand on his shaking stomach. I love it how he wrinkles his nose when he laughs.
He is clearly referring to how Harry's hand was down Louis' pants. 

I shake my head, lifting an eyebrow at him, but I can't help but smile. 

While I type in some more, I catch Zayn looking at me out of the corner of my eyes, slightly tilting his head. 

- "What?" I ask, in a small voice, feeling the blood rush to my face. It scares me how he makes me feel just by looking at me. 

- "It's funny making you blush," he smirks confidently. 
I shake my head, ignoring him and keep typing.

- "Did you live in London before?" he looks at the framed picture standing on the night stand. It's my favorite picture of me and Kayla. It's from one of the many times we went shopping in London, and it's taken in front of Big Ben. 

- "Just outside," I nod, thinking back on my old home.

- "Do you miss it? Bradford's kind of far away," he studies my face again. 

- "I like it here," I shrug. "What about you, have you always lived here?" his accent suggests so anyway. 

- "Yea, my dad grew up here, so," he shrugs as well, but he looks down at his torso, avoiding eye contact.  

- "So are your parents divorced, or?" I ask, since he's being quiet. 

He freeze with the question, his eyes completely distant, his mouth forming a thin line. He looks like he's on edge and about to lose it. I regret asking.  

- "Oh.. Zayn I didn't know I'm so sorry," I try to make him look at me, and when he does his eyes are cold, like his dark side has gotten the best of him. 

Zayn pushes himself up on the bed, to sit rather than lie down. His jaw is flexing.
- "No it's not.. He's not dead," his voice comes out as a strangled sound. "If only he was! He just left! Leaving me and my mum still waiting Jawaad," I reach out to take his hand. He pulls it from me. 

"It's not like he was any good anyway... Always beating me up to do as told or for crying when he hit my mum," 

His eyes are red and tearfull, which makes him even more angry and frustrated. 
He breathes fast, his chest rises with every breath. He closes his eyes to keep in the tears, trying to hold his tough facade. Even I tear up at the though of Zayn being beaten up when he was just a kid. He must be traumatized.

I can't help but put it in psychological perspective, since I've taken a class last year. It really explains alot about how violently Zayn reacts in certain situations. Should I be worried?

I move a bit closer to him, and since he doesn't stray away from me, I wrap my arms around him, letting his face rest in the crease of my neck. 

When his breathing has slowed down into normal again, I release him. 

- "What happened in the past doesn't matter anymore anyway," I know he is not just talking about his dad, but alot of other things he has in mind and regrets. 

I move back to my old position by my, not closed, laptop, but Zayn smirks and reaches out for me, pulling me back towards him. I lie down beside him, and he rests on his elbow, hovering over me. 
Every single feature of his face is breathtakingly perfect. 

- "I never told anybody," he leans down, his mouth meeting mine in a kiss. All my worries disappear, and I feel deep and utterly in love.
The kiss deepens and I'm overwhelmed by the alien feeling of wanting more. 

I gently tug at his hair with my right hand, while the other slowly travels down his torso. 

I can feel his hot skin and the curves of his tense muscles through the thin fabric of his shirt.  My hand stops at his waist, just over his belt. 
He bites down on my bottom lip, and without thinking further about it, I grab his belt, pulling him down on me.

He pulls away, and I open my eyes in confusion. 

- "Better not do that, or I'll lose my self control," he smirks, looking as sexy as ever with his now ruffled hair and slightly swollen lips. 


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