Are You Insane?

This is my diary. Why are you reading it? Everyone always wants to know everything about me. Why can't anyone just leave me alone? I didn't kill that boy. Or that girl. Or those twins. I didn't kill that old man that kept talking to me. Why can't you see that I am talking to someone? There is somebody there. I know that I always have someone with me.

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1. October 19th 2011

Dear diary,

 

This is directed at mother. I know that she can read this because she is near me, she is always with me.

Mother, I can't do this any more. The people at school hate me, they call me 'the insane one'. Nobody sits next to me in lessons, no one hangs around with me at break and lunch, not one person speaks to me. Even during register, the teachers don't call my name they just search for me and mark me as present. When I was ill, nobody asked where I was. When I had that operation in September, people hoped that I had been taken away because I am insane. Although, in Biology today, one girl leant over the lab table and asked me whether I am insane. What sort of a question is that, mother? just because I can communicate with you. Just because I accidentally killed that horse when I was in year nine. I mean, come on, I was thirteen! I have grown up, I'm seventeen now! I didn't mean to, he cut his lower leg and I attempted at a tourniquet, okay so he got blood poisoning and died. How is that my fault? If I wasn't there, he would have bled to death anyway. I told that girl today that I didn't think that I was insane, she kind of blinked at me and asked about you, mother. She said that everyone thinks that I killed you. I would never do that! You died when I was eleven, it was the most tragic day of my life. They think that I did it because I was the only one in the home with you, they think that I did it because I was holding that clean carving knife. They think that I did it because you killed yourself, no one believes that you would do it. Even if they did believe that you took your own life, people would still think that I am insane.

People always have and always will believe that insanity is contagious.

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