Counting Stars

16 year old Lela Hemmings has never felt real love. Her father died when she was 15 and her mother died giving birth to Lela. Lela lives with her Aunt. She is depressed, insecure, and shy. She walks the halls with her head down and her mouth shut. She is bullied though. Pushed. Laughed at. Judged. Due to her shyness, she literally doesn't talk to people. At all. As a result, she is afraid to stand up for herself. Then someone walked into her life. She didn't want them to stay, but she didn't want them to leave. Can someone as simple as a person, as simple as a boy, change her life?

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29. Missing You

Missing You

 

I sit on my bed and close my eyes. I try and think of a happier time. A time without the tears and without the pain. Just, a time.

I thought of when my father was still alive. How he would sing to me when I was upset. How he wouldn't leave for work until he knew I was at school and that I was safe. How he would kiss my forehead every night and tell me he loved me before he went to bed.

I remember hearing the words so clearly.

The 'I love you.'

The 'Goodnight.'

The 'I will see you in the morning.'

The soft kiss on my forehead.

I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

I also remember the first night that i had to go without the, 'I love you.' 'Goodnight' and 'I will see you tomorrow."

The worst part is, He wasn't there the next morning either. He didn't wait for me to get to school. He didn't make me breakfast and tell me about a crazy dream he had, or a story he had made up.

Instead, I had woken up to pure silence.

I remember the stillness in the house. The bad energy. The mourning.

It made me sick.

Literally.

And my father wasn't there to hold my hair back and tell me it was okay.

No one was.

****

I remember Ashton.

The way he protected me when I was bullied.

The way tried to understand in any way he could.

The way he smiled at me.

The way he hugged me.

The way he kissed me.

So gentle, yet loving.

The kind of loving, when you get butterflies in your stomach, and when you feel like your in heaving.

You just know there is something special about this person. Something you cant let go.

It gives you a feeling, like you, you just know, you just know that they truly love you, and they truly care, and they truly want to be there for you forever and always.

They might not say it, but you just know.

***

I feel the tears burning my eyes.

I quickly try to blink them away, but it is no use.

I start to cry.

I cry, and cry, and cry.

 

God how I miss them.

I want them here. With me. Always.

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