Breath ( Harry Styles fan fiction )

You are best friends sins kindergarten. High school came and he wants to be popular. Suddenly he lets you down. Two years later he is back. Your friendship is stronger than ever, and then disaster hit you. He is the person that put you through the hardest time of your life. Would there be more than just a beautiful friendship ?


3. thought wrong

I just finished all my homework when the doorbell rang. That would be Harry. I sprint down but my mum was faster than me. My mom was shocked a bump when she saw him standing in the hall way.

"Harry, that’s a long time ago I have seen you? What are you grown, a real young man. '
"Thanks, you are also changed ,Alice"
"I’ll take that as a compliment, so what brings you here ?"
" Me and El are just going to watch a movie at my place”
"Ohwe have fun than"

My mum did some reared hand signal to me that means she doesn’t understand what Harry is doing here. My mum know the hole Harry dumping story.  So I was sure that if I’m coming home I should explain everything to her. And I really don’t have any idea how I gone do that. But that are problems for later because now there are much bigger problems were I have to deal with.

I told my mum that it’s not gone be that late tonight. She nod and we immediately went outside.

Once outside I let my tears go . Luckily, there was Harry. Harry, he was always there for me and then he was suddenly gone. I missed him so badly. The whole ride to the doctor I've been crying. Harry said nothing. He knows me, he knows that he don’t have to start talking to me when I'm scared. We arrive at the doctor.


The doctor has just took some blood. Tomorrow I’ll have the results of the blood test. He said that there is no reason to panic and that I probably just overact a little bit. I’m relived but still scared that there is something wrong going one in my body. It never been easy to convince me about something.

So it’s time to relax , and that with a good movie at Harry’s place. I hope this ride home not gone take long and isn’t as awkward as the previous one.

"Thank you Harry"
"That you going with me to the doctor"
" I liked to do that Ellie"

“ Without you I never went to the doctor.”
"Do you have time, or do I have to drop you home?"
"Yeah, I've already made my homework. Why? "
"We can go to my house and watch a movie. Like I told you." he glance at me.

Those dimples when he laughs. So cute. When he was younger and he want something from his mother and he don’t get it. He just had to show his dimples and he got it. Maybe that’s the reason everyone likes him ? His beautiful smile. Witch girl doesn’t like dimples ? common be true. Who wouldn’t like this smile. Just by thinking about his beautiful smile makes me happy.

"Ellie, is it good or not?"
"Euhm, yes of course. As long as it's not a horror movie, it's good for me. "
"Nooo, you're still so afraid of horror movies? Your nothing changed in those two years"
"And do you still hate Twilight movies?"
"Yes, hate."
"Damn, I just wanted to see the wedding of Bella and Edward "
"Not tonight"
"What movie are we going to watch?"
"How about 'Love Actually'?"
"Yes, do you still love that movie? '
"Yes, still my favorite"

“ didn’t expect anything else”

************************************************** **

“ That movie just stays a good movie even if you watch it a thousand times”

“ it’s the best movie ever, El”


I lie on his lap during whole the movie. When he was playing with my hear.

“ Let’s play a game Ellie. Truth or dare?”

“ Truth”

“ Are you still have a crush one that boy from you class ?”

“nooow, what are you saying that was years ago.”

 I smile and give him a small push in his belly. Oh gosh he really work out the past two years. I never noticed he god such abs.

“ Now it’s my turn. Truth or dare Styles?”

“ Truth”

“ Owe, since when do you choice truth ?”

“ Since, when there are now other people her it’s not fun to choice dare”

“ But I can give you a dare that you must to do on school”

“ El , I have choice. Just give me a question”

“ Okay , an easy one, what's your 18th birthday party looks like ?”
"What a silly question, really don’t can find any bather ?”

“ No, Harry, just answer”

“ Okay ,like the party in ‘Project X’ "

"Am I invited or am I not good enough? "

Ellie, this is really the wrong question. Why are you asking this. You ruined it.

"Of course, Ellie. You're my best friend "


Does he just say that ? That I’m his best friend. He must to be kidding me. I’m chocked. How coot he dew that to me. He knows that I’m not just forgive somebody. he should know something like that. I don’t understand that he just thing that after 3 hours being together we are back best friends after two years. I’m sobbing a little. He looks at me. You can see the confusing in his eyes. I look down but I can feel that his eyes are still focus on me.

There was an awkward silent until he starts the conversation

“ Have I say something wrong Ellie ?”

I looked at him. No shit Sherlock ! Nice work Styles.

"You let me down for two years Harry. And now I'm back your best friend? I'm not an object  you can use back after 2 years ! I have feelings too! I can’t pretend like everything is OK. That I just forgiven you for all the pain I’ve been through. You know that I can’t just forgive somebody. ”
"Sorry, you're right"
"Do you really think we can be best friends again? You have said it yourself yesterday. You don’t even know if you dare to say anything to me at school. Nobody knows we have been best friends for years. Even Lucy don’t know it. Because I was ashamed. What should I say. ‘Harry was my best friend until high school but I was not good enough for him anymore and he just let me down’ that sounds nice huh? ”

Is he crying now? Oh no, I hurt him. That was rude Ellie! Stupid !

"I'm sorry. "

He is really crying right now. I want to conform him bud I just don’t know how to do it. He just looked at the floor. I thought that giving him a hug maybe was a good idea. I rubbing is bag when he looked up at me and put him out of my hug.

"No, you're right. You're absolutely right "
"But I've hurt you, isn’t it?"
"Why are you crying then, Harry?"
"I'm not hurt. I'm disappointed in myself. That you are ashamed for me. I'm even mad at myself. That I have dropped you so suddenly. The person who know me the best and who I trust for 100%. We have been best friends for years and I have dropped you just because I wanted to be the cool and popular guy, and what am I now? "

Again there was a silent. I thought it doesn’t was a real question.

"Ellie, what am I? Who am I ?"
"The popular guy you always wanted to be"
"Yes, and I've lost my best friend and hurt her a lot. It’s just something that I can’t forgive myself"

He looked me straight in the eye. It was even a little scared. He really is sorry but I don’t know if that’s enough.

"Will you please bring me home, Harry?"
"Yes, of course"

It was quite the way home. He’s not even trying to say something. I have hurt him? I’m absolutely sure about it. He is hurt.

"Once again thank you for going to the doctor with me. See you tomorrow at school, Harry?"
"I don’t know, but let me know the result of you blood test, do you?"
"Okay, I would do it"

“ Promise ?”

“ yes, I promise”

“Hey wait, don’t forget the promise shake”

“ Owhe, euhm yeah, of course”


Our promise shake, he isn’t forget it. It make me smile and happy that he isn’t forget it. Our shake is something very difficult. We start bay just a high five then shake with the head, clapping three times in your hands and then something that I really not can explain and then we end with a pinky swear. We always did sedge a rear things together.

The first time we doing our promise shake was when we were five.

We were sitting at Harry’s.


“ Are we best friends, El ?”

“ yeah, of course”

“ Promise me that we’ll be always best friends ?”

“ Yes, I promise”

“ We gone do a promise shake”

“ A promise shake ?”

“ Yeah, like this”


Harry do the promise shake. I was laughing at him. It looks so silly. It was too difficult. I never could do that, not in a million years.


“ Owh, I can do that to”

“ No, I gone teach you !”

“ I can do it. Look !”

“ Yeah, you do it right. Good, El. So now we must to do it and then we have promised it !”

“ Ooooh really was it right !! ” We are jumping for joy raid now.

“ Okay, now we do them together and that me have promise. We will be best friends FOR EVER ”



I think we have broke that promise two years ago.


I really want to avoid my mum. I just don’t want  to talking to her right now. But of course my mum want to know everything.

"And how was the movie with Harry, Ellie?"
"That was really a long time since you have done something together?"
"Yes, that's true. Almost two years "
"He is become a handsome young men."
"OKAY Mommy enough. I'm tired I go to bed. I have school tomorrow Good night "
"Good night, sweetheart"

I went upstairs put a t-shirt on and went in my bed. I ‘m not tired at all. So I just put my headphone one and listen to the most beautiful voice of the world. Ed Sheeran. I’m thinking about Harry and what he said. That he not want to see me at school. We were today at least 3 hours together. That has nothing changes? Did he really not know that I want to be friends with him again? Not best friends but just friends. I have missed him very hard and now I have him a kind of back, he is already gone. AGAIN.

************************************** (Next day)

I'm gone pick up the pieces,
and build a Lego house
when things go wrong we can knock it down

My three words have two meanings,
there's one thing on my mind
It's all for you

I really love Ed Sheeran and as specially Lego house but not at 8am. I already missed the weekend. I love school ,actually I love seeing my friends and Harry maybe. Sham, sham.

I went downstairs. My mum was already up and make me some pancakes. Ooh dear they smelt terrific. I just greeted my mum because I was pretty sure she would start about Harry again and I’m really wasn’t in the mood today. I just took some pancakes and go back upstairs. I put my black skinny jeans on and a pink top and some studs on it. Brush my teeth and put my hear in a pony tail.

I take my bag and put all my books in it for the day. I’m a little late today. I look at myself in the mirror and then run fast to the door. I was just at time and go straight back in the bus were my bestie Lucy was waiting on me.

“ Hey Ellie, how were the finals this weekend ? Please say you have win ?”

“ Then I have good news for you because I did”

“ Aaaaagh really omg congrats !!”

“ Thanks”

“ Come on, what’s going on, you supposed to be happy ?”

“ Nothing just tired”

“ Are you sure ? You doesn’t look tired.”

“ yeah, not slept that well”


The rest of the bus ride she just was saying how here weekend was and how great her date was whit Tom. Yes Tom, as in like Harry’s best friend and my ex-best friend.

Actually I don’t hear a lot about her date. I just was thinking about Harry and about the blood test. Actually more about Harry than about the blood test. I’m a little bit nervous for seeing him today. I’m wondering if he would say something to me today. I guess not.


Lucy and me were walking dawn the corridors. There he is. He is standing across his lockers together with Tom and the other popular friends. I saw him and Tom looking at me. I main Tom at Lucy and Harry at me. He smiled at me. So I smiled shy back. His friends push him in his side and nod to me. They were laughing with me. Harry said something to his friends. They even start harder laughing. But then I saw it.

He wasn’t smiling at me but at that stupid fake girl, Amy. She was walking behind me, and was walking straight to him. She start to flirt with him and of course he flirt back. What got you expect Ellie. He is not your boyfriend. Not even a friend.

They were laughing about something. Here hand with her perfectly done fake nails landed ride one his torso. He enjoyed it. He had seen me good enough. I just can take it anymore and turn my back and walk away without saying anything. I heard  Lucy calling my name behind me. But the only thing I can think about was getting out of here. I was out of the school building, running now. Running away from al the pain he have done to me. All the scars are back ripped open again. I never have forgive him from letting me down two years ago, and I think I just have realized I never would. He has hurt me to much the scars are just too deep.

But I also realized I can’t imagine a life without him. I need him. It’s just sedge a reared feeling. I can’t explain it but at the same time I know it’s so right. After yesterday I know it for sure, and I also know he would never ever gone see me like I see him.

I love him like my own brother. That brother that was gone for sedge a long time and now finely he is back. He would never see me like a sister.

He just see me like a best friend. He have told me I’m his best friend and I have refused that. I have hurt him with doing that. We never can be that good friends any more like we were two years ago. Time is changing. Harry is changing and he is moving one without me. And I.

I just staying that girl, like two years ago. I doesn’t want to change or moving one with my life without him but I think I had to do it. I don’t have any choice. He is moving one so I need to do it even.

I has to move on without him. If I wanted to do that or not. I don’t have another choice. He is ashamed of me and I am for him. It’s pretty hurt to think like this but it’s the trued.

Harry Styles is not fitting in my life anymore.

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