Breath ( Harry Styles fan fiction )

You are best friends sins kindergarten. High school came and he wants to be popular. Suddenly he lets you down. Two years later he is back. Your friendship is stronger than ever, and then disaster hit you. He is the person that put you through the hardest time of your life. Would there be more than just a beautiful friendship ?

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18. just go

 

~~Harry’s back from school and fell asleep at my bed while we were watching a movie, again. He looks so peas full without any worries while he sleeps.

I’m at the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror. Harry gave me the confidents to accept myself and the way I look. But when I look in the mirror now, I just can’t see myself anymore. It’s like there is another person standing in front of me. My eyes aren’t that bright blue anymore and my skin looks so pale. My collarbones are sticking out more than ever before and you can count my ribs. And the thing I hate the most of all. My hair. There are some bald areas all around my head. I HATE THEM, I just HATE THEM. IT’S UGLY, JUST DISGUSTING !

I took a scissors and just started to cut it. Cut every piece of hair that’s left off , it needs to be gone. I started to scream and cry out loud. I can’t handle myself any more. It needs to be gone NOW! I felt two strong hands around my wrists trying to stop me, but I can’t , I can’t stop now. I started to pull and kick everywhere and now where. I know I’m hurting him but I don’t care, it needs to be gone. Every single hair at my head needs to be gone, and nothing will stop me.  Not even Harry.

“ LET ME GO ! “
“ Babe, calm down it’s okay , you gone be okay ssst”
“ I’m dying Harry ! just let me GO ! “
“ Ellie it’s okay , just calm down.”
“ IT’S NOT OKAY ! I’M NOT OKAY! CAN’T YOU SEE THAT?”

I was crying even more, screaming even harder and hurting harry even more.

“ it’s okay , we will be okay “
“ HARRY JUST GO “
“ I’m going now where, I’ll stay here forever with you.”
“ I don’t want you to see me anymore, I’m sick and I’m dying you deserve so much better than me. Just GO”
“ Ellie, I only want to be with you, I love you “
“ But I don’t love you !”

I never saw his face turning this pale. I saw a tear leaving his eyes and even more left right behind it. He turns around and runs out of my room, crying like he never cried before.

I’ve lost him forever. Is this what I want ? I know it’s better like this. He won’t see me dying and getting sicker. But I’ve lost the person I love the most. The one who I need the most, but we can’t be together. Even more tears where leaving my eyes. I felt my feet getting weaker and just felt on the cold ground surrounded by my hair and my tears. A nurse walked in and helps me up. Everything what happened next was one blur. The only thing I can think about was the hurt look in Harry’s eyes and the tears streaming down his face.

***************************

I hope you guys love this turn in the story !

Please let me know what you think about this and don't forget to like :)

 

love you all

xx Elke

 

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