Lyrical Remedy

Hazel Belle has only one cure to her problems...her many many problems. Life is tough for her, everyone in her life only comes and goes. No one truly stays by her side, they all leave sooner or later. School is hell for her she wakes up every morning prepared to have the mocking words pelted at her one after the other like bullets to the core of her heart, but somehow things slowly start to brighten up for Hazel. Music is her lifeline. Music is her remedy. Music is her cure. Music is happiness. Music is her comforter, her one thing that can talk to her. The lyrics are the answer to her problems. The rhythm is the flow to her life and the solo parts are where life isolates you and leaves you to fight for yourself. Something she has needed to do a lot. Kale is her bully the shepherd of the flock of haters, but he has a reason, what is it? And will he ever recognize how much he is REALLY hurting Hazel?

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3. Stay strong

For full effect of this chapter play 'Because of you' by Kelly Clarkson when Hazel closes her laptop. Thank you all so much, hope you enjoy :)

Thankfully after first period my day cleared up a bit, I had no other classes with Kale and hardly saw him. At lunch, I sat in a corner alone behind one of the lockers in my usual spot, it was either there or the bathrooms but I find near the lockers more quiet. I had my earphones in as usual and was eating the apple that I took from home this morning before someone came from behind me and bumped me causing me to drop my food, I turned my music down and looked up and to no surprise it was Kale, I rolled my eyes but he just did his  well known smirk and walked off shouting 'I always win these games love' disappearing into the distance only leaving the echo of his harsh voice behind. I choked my tears in and just put my music to maximum volume shutting out the world around me.

I arrived home and mum wasn't back from work yet as she had to work long hours since she had to take care of me and keep this house alone and I appreciate it a lot, I just wish it didn't mean her having to start work so early and finish so late but I guess she has to do what she does. I go upstairs, change into warm pj's and let my hair out then grab my laptop and sit on my bed. I log into lyricalchat.com, a website where music lovers like myself can talk together. My username is Pain_Escape, simply because music is my escape from the agony and pain in life, I've got two friends on there but I have become really close with one of them, who's account is called Livesformusic. We've been chatting for about 2 months now and although I have never seen him he is the closest thing to a friend for me. He obviously cares about me a lot and I have to say he is an amazing listener, a perk not many people have, I've told him nearly all my problems with school, how I feel, nearly everything except how dad left us and about Aubrey, my older sister, but I don't mention any names in case he is closer to me than I think. I click onto new messages and he's already on,

'hey beautiful' was his first text causing me to go a light scarlet within seconds,

'hey, how do you know I'm beautiful if you've never seen me? ;)'

'your heart and personality is beautiful and seeing that in someone can make you see the person as the most gorgeous being on earth, plus I'm sure you are beautiful (: x' he got me to go a darker shade of red, he was always full of cute stuff causing me to smile

'Aw, you're so cheesy yet you somehow seem to pull it off ;)'

'I'll take that as a compliment ;) how's your day been love?'

'Awful as usual, you?'

'Aw what happened bub?, and bad now, I don't want my baby to feel like this' I rolled my eyes at his cheesy comment but I couldn't help but feel special, he meant a lot to me, but I had never seen him so I didn't want to get carried away,

'Rough day at school that's all, you know the usual.'

'Aw, don't worry about those losers you have me (: x'

'Thank you it truly means a lot xx'

'And listen to Fix You by Coldplay, trust me I will always be here for you if you need me to x'

'I love that song and their lyrics, thank you so much x Love I gotta go, I have crap to finish, thank you for everything I don't know where I would be without you, talk tomorrow?'

'That's okay, and of course. Have fun ;) byee xx'

'haha I'll try xx' I replied and closed the computer putting it on my bedside table, I looked beside where I placed it at a framed picture of Aubrey and myself, remembering how I could always count on her to be here for me, I remember the day she left, the day I was told she was gone, I remember it like it was yesterday.

*Flashback*

I'm sitting on the edge of the hospital bed holding my sisters hand praying that everything will be okay, tears streaming down my face wishing that I could be in her place if I could. My mother's comforting arms wrapped around me her fingers stroking through my hair, stopping at every knot and starting from the top again. Both of us wishing that the situation could be different, wishing it wasn't her there on the hospital bed, wishing that stupid truck driver was more careful, wishing everything turns out for the best. I heard a long beep. I looked up from my entwined hand in my sisters at the heart monitor. The line had gone flat. No more ups. No more downs. It was flat. The door slowly opened and I stared towards the nurse that walked in, slowly shaking her head from side to side, reassuring us our worst nightmare was true. I collapsed to the floor, my hands in my face crying more than I ever had in my whole life. Wanting me to be on that bed not her. She did nothing to deserve this. She is the most amazing person.  She was gone. My lifeline. My sister. Aubrey Belle was gone.

*End of Flashback*

I now had tears streaming down my face faster than ever, as I stroked my thumb over my sisters face somehow hoping she would be here. I picked myself up and walked over towards my guitar that Aubrey had given to me for my birthday 5 years ago, my sister's picture still in my shaking hands. I picked up the guitar and dropped myself onto the floor my sister's picture in front of me, as I choked on my tears and began to softly sing knowing she is looking down upon me, hearing me, seeing me, wanting me to stay strong. I slowly played the first chord on guitar my trembling fingers having a mind of their own I closed my eyes and began to sing,


'Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid! 

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with'

I close my eyes stopping the constant waterfall, knowing she wouldn't want me to be like this, knowing I need to stay strong for her and for myself.

 

Songs

Because of you by Kelly Clarkson (Chapter reference)

Fix you by Coldplay (Chapter Reference)

It will rain by Bruno Mars

Thank you all so much, tell me what you think :)

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