I Knew It Then

*Shortlisted as one of Movellas top 10 1D fanfictions* "I promise you, I will be worthy of you one day". One day. ︱Isla never believed in love. Much less that it would come to her, a size eighteen curly headed nervous wreck. So when Harry Styles enters her life abruptly, a true believer in love and its beauty, Isla must learn to accept all the things love entails, but the journey is not easy. Along the way she must learn to overcome the venomous voices in her head telling her that she is not worthy. In this vicious cycle of finding an even ground in the battle that is her self image, Isla must learn to love herself again. This is love story yes, but not only about the love between two people, Harry and Isla, but the love she must regain for herself. Because before she can love him entirely, she must learn to love herself.
©Ohhipstaplease 201

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8. Goodbye Isla.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Goodbye Isla

Harry's P.O.V

"Well love, I guess this is it."

She looks at me sadly, her hazel eyes brimming with tears.

"Don't cry Isla."

She shakes her head,"Don't worry about me Harry, i'll be fine." 

"NIALL!" screams Zooey from inside the truck. We both turn to look at her and chuckle. Niall comes out from the bus and smiles recognizing his favorite eight year old. 

"Princess." He says holding open his arms. She quickly opens the car door and sprints towards him full force. He hugs her tight as he humanly can. 

"Niall i'm going to miss you so much" 

"Aw princess, i'm going to miss you too" He smooths her unruly hair and smiles at her reassuringly. "But this won't be the last time you see me, I promise."

She looks up at him, stars gleaming in her eyes, "Really?"

He nods giving her one final squeeze. 

"Oh lord." Isla says sighing loudly.

"Niall really likes her, says she's like a baby sister to him." 

"That won't go down well with her."

I chuckle loudly, but quickly stop and face her, "This isn't goodbye Isla." She smiles at me, her face lighting up. I lean in towards her and ask, "I'll see you in two months love?" 

"Meet you in LA, Harry." 

"Meet you in LA, Isla." I say leaning in to give her one last kiss. 

As I press my lips to hers, it felt different.

But I couldn't quite explain why.

 

Isla's P.O.V

Zooey and I drive home, silence comforting both of us. She looks out the window sadly, the low hum of slow jazz creeping out from the stereo instilling a sadness in our hearts.

"Do you think i'll ever have a chance with Niall?" I clear my throat, not quite wanting to lie to her. 

"You're only eight sweetie, Niall is nineteen." She looks at me, tears brimming her green vibrant eyes. 

"So maybe when I'm older?"

I nod and smile at her sadly, "When you're older, age doesn't matter as much."

She smiles slightly at my answer and nods.

I wish she never had to grow up. I wish she could stay eight.

But she was already suffering from a broken heart, and nothing I could say would fix it. It made me sad to think she was already growing up. Growing up was anything but fun. Society no longer protects you from the ugliness of the world, you're suddenly thrown in the midst of it. You realize beauty is key to succeed, that people lie, that people hurt, that you're no longer protected from harsh realities and unfair stereotypes. As I watch her slowly wipe a tear away I slowly pull the car over and wrap her in my embrace.

"Sweetie, you're so young. Please don't do this to yourself." She sniffles a bit and looks up at me. 

"Isla, am I in love?"

"Oh, Zooey." I wrap her back in my embrace and pray that she'll start to mend her broken heart,

❇❇❇

"We're home."

As soon as we step into the doorway the strong smell of my mother's lasagna hits every single one of my senses. 

"Hi girls." My mother says walking into the hallway wiping her hands on a towel. She looks at Zooey and steps over to her, lifting her face to look at her closely. "Have you been crying?" 

"No."

"Don't lie to me Zooey."

"I'm not." She says swiftly removing my mother's hands from her face. Zooey turns and goes towards the stairs. 

"We're eating in five minutes." My mother screams after her.

"I'm not hungry." Zooey yells back. She shuts the door loudly and after a few seconds we here her stereo go off with loud One Direction music.

My mother rubs her temples and looks at me, "What happened?"

I shrug and she looks at me seriously. 

"She thinks she's in love with Niall doesn't she?"

I shrug again and make my way towards the stairs. The scent of delicious food wafting towards me, my stomach growls loudly. 

"Dinner in five Isla!"

"Oh, i'm not hungry either. I'll eat later" 

She sighs and starts clattering all of the plates as I open the door to my room and close it gently. I take out the small scale from the closet and remove my dress. I step onto it and flinch slightly before looking down. 

"245" I breathe out

I lost a pound so far, but it felt as if I had gained five. Dinner was not going to be happening tonight. I slowly put my dress back on, ignoring the mirror reflecting my image back at me. 

"I promised him I would do it." I say lifting the scale and putting it back into my closet. "In three weeks, i'll be someone new. Someone different" I close the door and sigh loudly. Carefully, I walk over to my mirror and trace my fingers lightly over it.

"Harry thought it wasn't goodbye, but it was."

I look at myself, my brow furrowed in concentration, my eyes alit with excitement at the thought that it was finally time to let go. Finally, I was going to be someone else.

"Goodbye Isla, it was nice knowing you." I say to my reflection, embedding this moment in my mind. This will be the last time I look at myself with utter disgust. This is it, this is goodbye.

"Goodbye," I whisper, a tear slowly falling down my cheek.

 

❇❇❇

I wake up and head downstairs carefully, making sure not to awaken my mother. The sun is carefully creeping up the horizon as I pass the large window in the corridor. I quickly grab the water bottle in the fridge and make my way back to my room. I open up my closet and pull out my box. Within it I contain the secrets that will finally make me worthy. I pull out three pills and swallow them quickly. Each pill containing the suffice amount of power to make me lose this weight. I place the bottles back in the box and put them back in my closet. I pull out the scale and weigh myself. 

"241" I sigh

Another pound closer at least. I put the scale back and write down my current weight. I crawl back into my bed and let the covers wrap around me. 

"Isla?" I look over to the door, creaked slightly open by Zooey.

"What is it sweetie?" 

"I can't sleep."

I signal for her to come over to me and she climbs into bed with me. 

"I miss him." She says sadly. 

"It's okay sweetie, just try to get some sleep" 

I wrap her to me and slowly we both drift into a dreamless sleep. 

Dreams only bring us heartache anyways. 

 

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