Inner Demons

Lucy Karahem lives with her twin sister Lara in a neighbourhood built for families with twins. She has a major crush on Harry Styles, not Edward, Harry. She is a singer, she is having her first live performance soon and when she falls off the stage and into his arms... She really falls.
1DAU.
Used to be called "Falling Into Your Arms"

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20. Problem Solving.

After a night full of nightmares - well technically it was just Edward over and over, but I was classifying that as a nightmare. 

Anyways, after a night full of nightmares, I decided to stay home. No way was I facing Edward after everything that happened yesterday - the voice, the closet, the nightmares... 

So I changed into some comfortable clothes, because there's no point in dressing like that if I wasn't gonna be showing off. My outfit consisted of grey yoga shorts, a salmon floral bustier top and grey bunny boot slippers. I guess it's just habit now dressing to show off my body. 

I grabbed my phone and headed into the living room where I flipped on the t.v and channel surfed till I found a good show that I liked and wrapped myself up in blankets and made myself comfortable on our couch. 

Now that I think about it, I miss how I was before, just liking Harry - well, Edward - and being shy and sweet... Lux was a big leap, I don't know how I talked myself into it, exposing my body in a way I never have before, and not caring... 

I guess you don't think about that when your blindsided by hate and deep sorrow. And maybe it takes a while to really sink in that what you're doing is wrong. But then by that time it's too late, you're already in too deep to dig yourself out now.

Maybe that's why I didn't realize this till now... But now I've dug myself a hole so deep I can't climb out of it, I've gotten myself out of reach of help and there's only one person who can help me now. 

But I don't want their help, I don't want to face that person. That person couldn't be allowed to help, if they did, there's a big chance I could get hurt again. If I get hurt again then will  be able to keep myself together? Or could I just crumble?  I barely held on the first time, and that was because there was something to fall back on, and if I get rid of that I won't have anything to fall back on this time. I would just crumble. 

You get yourself in so deep that you can't get out and any help could backfire on you and you'll fall deeper. 

Reflecting, I realize that, though I hated being stuck alone in the closet with Edward, if I hadn't then I might not ever come back, Lux would dominate forever. 

Maybe Edward took my advice, maybe he gave up and stopped trying. What would happen if he did? Would those walls grow higher again and force out those thoughts that are giving me this argument now, or would they crumble and I'd be stuck between two people for the rest of my life? 

So now I'm stuck with the decision to either accept help, or push it away. 

It's not the easiest thing to decide, whether or not to accept the chance that you could get hurt again. It's harder than you might think, actually. 

Everyone's afraid of being hurt, that's why we live in the society we do. People don't wanna get hurt so instead they push others away or hurt others so they don't get hurt. 

But the answer has always been right in front of us. 

Don't care. 

If someone hurts you, think about it. Are they really worth your tears? If so, why? If not, stop crying and forget about it. They aren't worth your time. 

I froze. 

Now I see the answer, it's so simple and the only thing I needed was some courage. Which I had plenty of right now. 

I grabbed my phone and punched in the digits and held it to my hear, praying she'd pick up. 

"Lucy? What's wrong?" 

"I need you to do something for me, Lara." 

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