Held Back

Melissa, a 17 year old girl, has a sad story. Her life is not what it seems she wants it to be. With no friends, and a father who does not care about her. She feels, no one cares. This is her story.

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5. Alone

   I woke up the next morning well rested.  I sat in the bed thinking about these five boys and how nice they were to me.  It really surprised me about how much people could care and how nice they were.  But I was still unsure if they were true, and REALLY cared.  I got up, and ran down the stairs.  I found a note on the kitchen counter.  "Hey Love.  We had to go for a rehearsal.  Don't worry we will be back at around 1.  There is plenty of food, and we have left you some money for you to buy new clothes.  Take care, see you soon:). x- Louis, Harry, Liam, Niall, Zayn"  This life was all so new to me.  I couldn't really fully understand it yet.  It was like a total transfer from one world to another.  I felt kind of bad using the boy's money to buy me new clothes.  But I guess I kind of needed them.  I took a shower, threw my hair back up in a bun, and threw on the clothes that I had on yesterday.  I grabbed a quick breakfast from the fridge, grabbed the money and left.  I felt out of place here.  Like I didn't belong.  These feelings were not new to me though.  They brought back memories of my uncle.   My life there.  but who knows, my life could be heading in a new direction so I didn't really dwell on it that much.  After walking for several blocks, I reached a store.  I thought they had okay clothes so I walked in.  I felt people staring at me as soon as  I walked in.  I never walk with my head up. Never.  I could feel peoples eyes watching me.  Like they were to good for me.  I tried to make the feelings stop, but I couldn't.  I felt a tear run slowly down my cheek.  Instead of looking for clothes, I ran out of the shop.  I ran all the way back home.  I sat on the steps crying.  Sobbing.  I hated my life.  Nothing could help it.  I reached into my pocket, and what did I find?  A razor blade.  I stared at the blade like it was my only focus.  Would the boys want me to do it?  No.  Do I want to do it?  Yes.  I couldn't help anything, I really had to.  So, I did.  I thought I didn't do very much harm to myself.  My heart racing, still crying with black circles around my eyes from crying so much.  And then it happened.  I cut to deep.  I threw the razor and ran inside.  I couldn't tell them.  So I found gauze, and wrapped it super tight.  "I think I'm okay now.  I hope."  I said to myself.  I lied down on the couch, and cried some more.  Until I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and a strange whispering voice at the door.  It was only 11:45 a.m. so I didn't think it was the boys.  I was scared.  But, I didn't move.  I couldn't.  I just sat there waiting for something to happen.  Like I was expecting this to happen one day.  The door got slammed down, and the sight of who it was made me cry. 

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