She's Eccentric

A story of a boy that met a girl who changed his life.

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17. She's Eccentric Chapter 16

Chapter 16

            The truth that I have found out is now breaking me. I am now sitting on the floor in front of Aimee, not knowing what to do.

            I feel helpless and weak. I feel like I can’t stand and all my strength just left my body. I feel like I am anesthetized.

            The reality is making me lose my sanity. They are telling me that there can be more serious illness that came from insomnia?

            I can’t believe it. I refuse to believe it. I won’t lose the girl I love the most on a simple sickness like insomnia. No.

            I felt Aimee knelt in front of me and held my bleeding hand. She kissed it while her tears continue to fall.

            “I don’t want you to know. That is why I really don’t want you to love me from the start,” she started telling me with a wavering voice.

            She has no intention of telling me? “So, you never had an intention to let me know at all? What if you get worse? What am I gonna do, huh?” I said with a high tone.

            Her answer to my question is her sobs of grief. “What do you plan to do? Leave me once it got worse without telling me anything?” I asked.

            Aimee still didn’t give me any response. “You plan on leaving me without any idea why you’re leaving. How harsh and selfish could you be?” I asked while putting the blame on her.

            At this moment, I can’t think of anything else. I can’t feel any physical pain; I can only feel the emotional pain she has put me through.

            “I know! I know I am selfish!” Aimee screamed. “I have already accepted that I am going to die and its fine already!” she cried out.

            “But then, I fell in love with you. I didn’t mean to but it just happened!” Aimee continued crying but I can’t look at her.

            I am staring blankly at the wall with my tears starting to build up again. I don’t want the idea of losing Aimee.

            “It’s okay to die, but I decided to be selfish in the last few months of my life. I want to pretend as if there’s nothing wrong and enjoy my life with you. Is it too much to ask?” Aimee cried out.

            “I didn’t say it’s too much, but you could’ve informed me sooner. Why do I have to find out like this? If you love me, why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.

            “Because I don’t want to hurt you!” she replied. “Bullshit! You know I’ll end up being hurt any other way!” I screamed.

            “Because I would rather not see you hurt! If I died without seeing you being hurt then I can rest in peace! I can’t see you suffer in front of my eyes. Call it selfishness but I don’t give a damn!” she cried.

            She keeps on crying and it’s hurting me more. Aimee loves me. She loves me to the point that she doesn’t want to see me hurt.

            But, no. Aimee is not going to die. We’ll find a way because I cannot afford to lose he. If I have to call my parents and ask help then I’ll do.

            I pulled Aimee’s hand. “I’ll talk to my parents. They will help you; they are both doctors who know lots of good doctors around the world. They’ll help us.” I said.

            Aimee shook her head. “There is no cure for this, Chase. I have already accepted this a long time ago. Since my mom died, I know I’ll follow anytime,” she said.

            “No. It’s just insomnia. Even if we can’t cure it, we’ll find a way to make it better. We’ll find a way to stop you from… dying.” I said. I think I am making a sense anyway.

            “It’s not just insomnia, Chase. It’s called Fatal Familial Insomnia. It’s a very rare disease that doesn’t have any cure nor prevention.” Aimee said.

            Now that she named the sickness that she has, it made me imagine how insomnia can be so deadly and incurable. I still can’t believe it.

            “Now that you know about it, I think it’s better for me to leave. I don’t want to make you suffer longer,” she said.

            It shocked me. “What are you saying? Now that I found out about your sickness, do you think I can still let you out of my sight?” I asked.

            “But if I leave you now, it’ll be easier for you to move on. I have to go before you love me more,” she said while crying.

            I felt like my heart melted. I felt like I am hurting her even more because of being selfish. She already has a big problem.

            And yes, I am being selfish. I am putting the blame on her when I didn’t consider why she hid it from me.

            I pulled Aimee closer to me and embraced her. “Be selfish. If pretending that everything’s fine is selfish, then be selfish.” I said.

            “I’ll pretend I didn’t know. Forget that I know anything. Forget about me getting hurt. I want you to stay by me as long as you can.” I said and gently pulled away from her.

            I cupped her face. “I want you to stay with me as long as you’re breathing. I want you to be with me until time runs out. But we are going to fight together.” I said.

            I think more tears came out of Aimee’s eyes. “Be with me. Love me the best way you can. Let’s stay together until the end. Okay?” I asked her.

            Even though she’s crying, she still managed to smile. “Thank you, Chase. I am really happy I met you,” she said,

            I pulled her again and hugged her. “Shhhh. Let’s relax for now. It’s Christmas Eve so we have to prepare for later. Let’s have a good Christmas Eve.” I said.

            The truth is, I want to know more about this sickness that she has. I want to know how long I can still be with her.

            I embraced her tighter and we stayed like that for a long time. We just let ourselves embrace each other like there’s no tomorrow.

            Later on we got up. We were already making out when I thought of my brother again, I think we are gonna have a problem with that.

            And so, I stopped and decided to talk to Aimee about it. “Babe.” I called her out. I started calling her that since we got home from Leila’s house.

            She opened her eyes and looks at me. “Yeah? Is there something wrong?” she asked. I sit up and leaned on the head board.

            Aimee sat up too in front of me. I looked at the lovely face in front of me. Her eyes are beaming, her burrows furrowed, her lips pursed.

            It was such a beautiful sight that I won’t get tired of. “I just want to clear things so I can remove this anxiety I feel.” I said.

            She seemed focused on every word I am saying and gave me a nod. “I won’t hide anything from you anymore. I’ll tell you everything you want to know,” she said as she move closer to me. Our faces are inches away from each other.

            I can even feel her breath on my face. I gave her a smile and then hold her hand. They are so soft and smooth.

            I’d love to hold this hand ‘till I get old. I just hope I really can. “I want to know how you feel about Jake.” I said.

            I opened up the topic even thought I don’t really wanna hear that she still has feelings for my brother.

            I want her to deny any feelings towards him. I want to hear that she doesn’t love him anymore.

            She’s looking at me intently with a smile on her face. She slowly touched my cheeks and rubbed her thumb around it.

            “I don’t love Jake anymore. I don’t have that sort of feelings for him any longer. But I care for him a lot, the way you care for Rhea,” she said.

            She crossed the gap between us and kissed my forehead. Then, she kissed my nose and stopped to look at me.

            She looks straight into my eyes. “There is this one song that I really wanted to sing for you. Will you hear it?” she asked.

            I slowly nodded while still looking at her. She gently kissed my lips for a few second before she pulled away a little.

If I had no more time

No more time left to be here

Would you cherish what we had?

Was it everything that you were looking for?

If I could feel your touch

And no longer were you with me

I’d be wishing you were here

To be everything that I’d be looking for

I don’t wanna forget the present is a gift

And I don’t wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me

‘Cause Lord only knows another days is not guaranteed

So every time you hold me

Hold me like this is the last time

Every time you kiss me

Kiss me like you’ll never see me again

Every time you touch me

Touch me like this is the last time

Promise that you’ll love me

Love me like you’ll never see me again.

            That is “Like you’ll never see me again” by Alicia Keys. And that was the final straw. I pulled her close to me and kissed her.

            Yes, I’ll kiss her like there is no tomorrow. I’ll love her every time, like I will never see her again.

            I’ll hold her as if it’s the last time I can hold her. I’ll touch her like all we have is today. And I’ll see only her.

            This kind of feeling is crazy and new to me. When you know you are gonna lose that one thing any time soon, it makes you wanna cherish it.

            It gives you a different feeling over it. It’ll make you more intense, eager, make you feel like you are longing.

            When you know you are going to lose something important to you, you’d want to find a way to make it stay.

            And if you are unable to make it stay, you’d want to have the most out of it. You’d want to have it a little longer.

            It’s the same for some feelings. If you know you won’t feel anything like it again, you’d want to cherish it.

            And, it is the same for people as well. It’s such a crazy thing that you’d come up into something like this.

            You’ll love a person. When that person loves you too, somehow, the excitement vanishes. You’ll get used to the idea that the person you love is there with you.

            And then, if you somehow found out that the person you love is going to leave you, you’d want that person to stay.

            And if you can make that person stay, you’d want to spend time with that person as much as you can.

            You’d want to do all the things that you can with her. You’d want to take her to places she wanted to go.

            I pulled Aimee closer to me while I am leaning on the headboard. I am kissing her tenderly and feeling her lips on mine.

            Every second of each kiss makes me more intoxicated. I’m slowly losing sanity; I am slowly losing myself with this tender feeling.

            I pulled her closer, grabbed her tighter. I feel like I am crushing her to myself and not making any space between us.

            I pushed her face closer to mine. I held her back and pushed it closer to mine. I like I am being too possessive, but that’s alright.

            This is one way of removing the pain. I keep on telling myself that escaping reality like this can make the pain subside for a while.

            And it does, it’s helping me forget for a while. It’s making me high without the help of any alcohol.

            I feel like I am in another world, we are in another world; a world that exists only for the two of us.

            “I love you, Chase,” Aimee said without pulling away from me. It’s like a whisper but enough for me to hear it.

            She continued kissing me. “I love you Aimee. And I’d love you forever. Even if it’s an awfully long time.” I said in between my harsh breathing.

            Later on, we prepared the food that we are gonna eat for our celebration. Rhea, Serena, Arvin and his brother John will pass by.

            But they will still celebrate the Christmas Eve with their family. We just decided to meet up here.

            John will be joining Arvin since their parents will not let Arvin go alone. Oh, I remember Rei will be joining us too.

            Rei, short for Reila, is Rhea’s older sister. We always spend Christmas Eve together so they decided to go here.

            We usually celebrate at their house but since I have Aimee here, I can’t celebrate there. We agreed to meet up in our place instead.

            Rhea already told Rei that I have a girlfriend that I’ll be spending Christmas Eve with. She didn’t mention that my girlfriend is living here.

            As per John, he knows Aimee is my girlfriend now. And like Rei, he only knows that Aimee is going to celebrate Christmas Eve with me.

            In short, there are only five of us who know that Aimee is living with me. We still keep it a secret to avoid any problem.

            I am helping Aimee with the cooking and other stuffs. She seems to be enjoying herself with garnishing the food.

            She is also baking a cake which is currently at the oven. I can’t wait to design the cake with the icing!

            I feel a bit tired so I sat down the floor for a while. While looking at Aimee, I saw the Tupperware that Jake brought earlier.

            It made me curious what it was so I stood up and went across the table where the Tupperware is located.

            I reached out for it and slowly opened its cover. Inside it is a bunch of brownies. Jake knows that I like brownies a lot.

            Jake made an effort to travel and go here to bring me this. And I hurt him when he got here and disregarded his intention.

            I feel really bad about it. We never had fights when we were little; we’ve never hurt each other.

            He’s never violent and so was I. But then, I lost control and hit him a few times earlier. I feel sorry for him.

            Now that I have already cooled my head, I realized that what I did is really wrong. I just can’t take what I found out that made me hurt my brother.

            I turned my head and look at Aimee who’s also looking at me. She slowly moved towards me and checked what I’m holding.

            And again, she looked at me. “It’s from Jake right?” she asked with concern. I gave her a slow nod.

            Aimee put her right hand on my shoulder. “He was a nice guy, Chase. He made a big mistake, like everyone else does,” she said.

            I just stood staring at the brownies while listening to Aimee. “Don’t hate Jake for what he did to me. I wouldn’t have loved him if he’s not a good guy,” she said.

            I nodded and smiled. “I know. He was never the type who’d hurt anyone. I never saw him hurt anybody.” I replied.

            Aimee went back to what she’s doing. “You should talk to him. I know he’ll understand,” she said.

            I know that he will. But, am I ready to talk to him when I know that he wants to take Aimee away from me?

            I don’t think I am ready to talk to him yet. Because we might end up fighting if he insists on taking Aimee.

            But if making a decision is up to Aimee, then I know she’d pick the choice to stay with me. She loves me.

            That thought made me smile. Sometimes, truth hurts. But sometimes, it doesn’t. Sometimes, truth become lies.

            Sometimes, the truth is scary. Sometimes, it’s expected. Sometimes, it gives you agony. Sometimes it makes you happy.

            But sometimes, it doesn’t matter. What matter is, what’s in front of you. Sometimes the most important things are the things that you can see.

            And when I open my eyes, I see her. The most wonderful woman I am sharing my most precious feelings with.

            I took one of the brownies then went towards Aimee to make her taste it. I know she likes pastries so I think she’ll like it.

            We shared the brownies together and it was great. I helped her again after the cake is baked.

            We designed the rectangular cake with the words ‘Merry Christmas Everyone!’ in the middle and some Christmas tree designs all around.

            We also put small candies in it and they look like Christmas balls. We enjoyed designing it together and it looked nice.

            Time flies by and I noticed it’s almost evening. I checked the time on our wall clock and it’s already half past seven.

            Our friends will be here by eight so we should put the food on the table now. We started putting things in place.

            Suddenly, the telephone rang. I know it is my parents who are calling so I immediately picked the phone up.

            “Hello?” I said. I am not mistaken since I quickly recognized the voice on the other line. It was my mom.

            “Chase, darling. I think you forgot to tell me something important,” my mom said. There is no excitement in her voice at all.

            I’m trying to think why my mom would say that. And then a thought came flashing into my head. That must be the only reason.

            There is a big chance that Jake called mom and told her about Aimee. “Mom. Get straight to the point so I know how to defend myself.” I said.

            “Very clever, Chase. As expected of you,” she paused for a while. I turn to look at Aimee and check if she’s listening.

            I don’t think Aimee is listening since she’s very busy preparing the table. I just waited for the next thing my mom will say.

            “I received a call from Jake. He said you are living with his ex-girlfriend. Is that true?” my mom asked.

            I have no choice but to defend. The way she said it makes me look like I am the bad guy. “What a nice topic for Christmas Eve mom. Merry Christmas too!” I said.

            I know she won’t laugh. “I am waiting for your answer, Chase. I want to hear if it’s true,” she said. It’s a bit annoying.

            “Okay, I’ll tell you everything but tell me what Jake told you, the exact thing he told you.” I requested.

            She didn’t speak for a while. “He said that he did something terrible to this girl that he loved that made her go away. And he’s looking for her a long time now but suddenly found her in your house. He said she’s sick and needs some help.”

             “But I want to know first if you’re really letting a girl stay in your house,” she said with a commanding voice.

            I had no choice but to tell her the truth. “Yes, that’s true.” I turned to look at Aimee again making sure she has no idea of what and who I am talking to.

            “Damn it, Chase! How dare you bring a girl to our house! You are not thinking at all! Where are your senses?” she said.

            Here is the reaction that I don’t want to hear at all. “You’ll love her mom. She was very beautiful in and out. You’ll love her.” I said.

            She stopped talking for a while and sighed. “It seems like you’re hooked to that girl. Your brother sound like he’s madly in love with her too,” my mom said.

            Oh great! What kind of trouble did Jake brought me to. “She’s wonderful. But Jake is right mom, I think we need your help.” I said.

            “Just great, Chase! You kids are going to give me and your father a heart attack,” she paused for a while.

            “I heard from Jake that it’s Fatal Familial Insomnia. Am I correct, Chase?” she said changing the topic.

            I am not entirely sure since I’ve only heard it from Aimee once. But that must be it. “Yeah. I think so.” I said.

            “I know it will be a disappointment to you, but as far as I know, there is still no cure for that,” she said.

            And here goes the dramatic feeling again. My mom is a doctor and now she’s telling me there is no cure.

            “But hang on there, darling. I’ll see what your father and I can do. We don’t specialize in FFI so we have no clue but, we are going to see what we can do,” she said.

            Tears started to build on my eyes. “Thanks mom. Thank you so much. I feel so helpless now, and thank you for giving me hope.” I said.

            I can’t see my mom but I know she’s smiling right now. “You must’ve really loved her. Your brother begged me to help you out. He’s even crying while talking to me,” she said.

            “She must be one heck of a lucky lady to get you and your brother madly in love with her,” mom said.

            It still leaves me confused with something. “But, aren’t you angry that I am letting her live with me?” I asked her.

            I heard mom laugh. “Why would I be mad? I know that you are a responsible person, dear. You’ve never gave us any problems even when you were little. You never asked help from us, you are so independent.”

            “We left you there alone when you entered high school but we never heard any complain from you. Sometimes we are thinking that you don’t need us and we are a failure as parents.”

            “But we are proud of you. You always think a lot before making any decision and so we trust you. And now, you are asking help from us for the first time, we can’t help but just be glad,” my mom said.

            “But what about Aimee? Aren’t you supposed to be against her or something?” I asked. I am so confused with my mom’s reaction.

            “Would you like me to be against her?” she laughed. “Again, your father and I trust you and we know you won’t love just anybody. She must be a fine woman to make you and Jake love her that much,” she said.

            At this moment, I am just so happy. “You’d love her too. She’s wonderful. And oh, she sings really well. I swear you’d love her.” I said with my voice full of excitement. I can’t stop this happiness I am feeling.

            “If you love her then we’ll love her. We are going to talk to other doctors that we know. But I think there is a research about it somewhere in Cleveland. We’ll call you if we get any information so hang in there,” my mom said.

            “Thank you, mom. Thank you so much.” I said. I was so thankful that my parents are like that. If it’s another person’s parents, I wonder how they will react.

            “It’s the least we could do for you. Anyway, I have to hang up now since I am running out of credits. Give me a call if something came up, okay?” she said.

            “Yes. Thanks again. And mom, I love you.” It is the first time I’ve ever said that to my mom. I was never the sweet kind when I was small.

            “I love you too, dear. Take care, and take care of your precious girl,” she said as she hangs up.

            I will. I will really take care of Aimee. Now that my mom gave us hope, I can’t give up. We will continue on fighting together.

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