Drowning

I'm drowning.

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1. Drowning

I'm drowning. 

I'm drowning and in flaunting helplessly and all I can see is her eyes. 

I'm drowning in her eyes. 

I'm drowning in her eyes and I know I'll never resurface, there's no chance of rescue by a brave lifeguard. 

I'm a lost cause. 

I'm a lost cause and in drowning in her eyes and I'm hopelessly, utterly waterlogged and my shoes feel like they're weighed down with lead and my clothes feel like an iron fist squeezing and squeezing until my lungs just cease to exist, are compressed out of existence. 

I can't breathe. 

I can't breathe and I'm drowning in her eyes and my lungs are the size of peas and every breath I take is just carried away on the electric currents sizzling between us and I'm a lost cause and no one can save me now. 

I'm lost. 

I'm lost with her and without her.

I'm lost both with her and without her and I'm drowning in her eyes and I can't breathe and she makes it hard to breathe and she makes my chest feel clear all at the same time. 

Even though she is but a stranger to me now, a shadow of the girl I used to know. 

A shadow of the girl I used to love, still love even now, when I'm faced with this cold stranger with hard unforgiving eyes and another life and another world that I'll never be able to cross over into, because I'll never be welcome there. 

I'm lost, and I'm drowning in this stranger's eyes, and no one can save me now. 

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