What Used to Be

It's been a while since we've talked.

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1. What Used to Be

It's been a while since we've talked. Properly talked, as in. 

We used to be so much closer. 

We used to be the cool kids at the back of the Spanish class, doing none of the work and barely scraping our grades but still blissfully happy. 

We used to be the funny kids in physics, laughing and joking and never taking anything seriously. 

We used to be the stupid kids in chemistry, who had no clue how to balance equations but didn't give a damn, as long as we could chat about something or other and forget about our grades dropping bit by bit. 

We used to be the smart kids in English, able to define a word or think of a good metaphor with a snap of our fingers, never doubting in our ability there. 

We used to be the quiet kids in maths, never in the same class except once, but both despising the subject with equal fiery passion that filled our hearts with hatred, but never saying anything. 

We used to be the laid back kids in biology, not really caring whether we got good grades or not, but still making the effort to learn sometimes. 

We used to be the perfect pair in Games (though she was my superior by far when it came to ability), never really trying but always making the most of these relaxed doubles, when we could take our minds off grades and homework and the stresses of life. 

We used to be so much closer. 

And now, when she's so untouchable, I wonder if all those happy memories were a lie, a falsification on her part just to draw a reaction, to take some kind of sick pleasure in my deception. 

But no. They can't have been. We were happy. We didn't care what people thought. We just got on with our lives, laughing and smiling and being together. 

At least, that's what I have to keep telling myself, to keep my fragile heart ticking on. To stop it from being shattered and twisted and ripped and torn and sliced apart, all at the same time. 

To stop her taking possession of it once more, and never letting go until I'm just ashes drifting on the breeze. 

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