It's Like My Drug


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"Idiot." "Whore." Fat." "Ugly." "Pig." "Bitch." "Slut." "Freak." Echo through her head as she runs home, sprinting through her house and up the stairs. Tossing her bag on the floor and locking her door. Tears pour down her face as she grabs her blade, sliding the cold metal on her skin as she falls to the floor watching the blood travel down her hand and drip off her finger tips onto the hardwood floor. She does it a second time, then again and again. Until the pain is numb but she still sits there and cries, wondering what she did wrong. She doesn't cut too deep, not to die but just to take the pain away. It's the same routine everyday, she get up only to go to school and listen to all the harsh comments. She closes her eyes only to remember the reasons why she is cutting.

Reason one, her best and only friend died in a car crash, semi to car impact it killed her friend and her friend's mom. Reason two, her step father raped her. They solved that problem by telling the police. Reason three, she gets bullied. She used to be this really outgoing girl until the bullying started now she is very insecure and quiet, putting on fake smiles. Reason four, her dad left them and she couldn't help but think that it was her fault that he left.

"Juliet! I'm home!" Her moms voice echo's through the house. She quickly wipes away her tears and cleans up the blood, throwing on a sweatshirt before her mom knocks on her door. She takes a deep breath, puts on a fake smile and opens the door.

"Hello sweetheart. How was school?"

"It was good mom." She replies holding back tears.

"That's good. What would you want for dinner?"

"I'm not hungry." She replies. She starves herself cause she thinks that she is fat, that's what everyone tells her. Her mom hasn't confronted her about never being hungry and that's one reason why she believes that her mom doesn't care for her.

"You can order pizza or something if you get hungry. I have about a hour until I have to go back to work for night shift at the hospital."

"Okay." She replies before ushering her mom out of the room and shuts her door. She slides back down to the floor and mumbles, "Juliet. I hate my name. I hate my life."

 

 

 

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