Diary of a S.L.U.T! (So Lame at Utter Times)

Rosia shows her true affection to a boy in diary entries she posts daily. I'd like to say, these diary entries are made up. These are not my problems on Movellas.

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20. Day 20

Dear Diary,

So I'll admit it. Writing to you hasn't been on the top of my priority list. With all my college work coming up and my job in the supermarket... I just never really had the time. Glad we got the apologies out the way first. Now get ready for the big news. I ended things with Marty. He was like clinging to me like superglue. I had to force him off! It didn't go so well... the worst thing is that I did it over text. I know. I'm awful.

M: Hey babe. I miss u so much. When r u comin to mine? I want to give u a surprise ;) love u call me. xxx<3

R: Marty, you know I said I'll be round after work. I think we need to talk. I have a feeling that you know what I'm on about. I'll call once I'm on my break. Give me 5 minutes x

M: K whatever u say babe. so I was wondering if u wanted kids? or us to get married? u know how much I love u xxx<3

R: Well, that's what I wanted to talk about. I'm not so keen on having a family. Especially at this age. I erm, I think we need to take a break. I'm not sure for how long... but you and me? This isn't working. And you know it. I went home on Saturday and cried to my mum. I told her I didn't want to be with you anymore. It's making me uncomfortable. The fact everyone wants to be with you but I don't just makes me feel guilty. Be with someone who actually likes you... not me. I'm sorry. X

M: Thanks Rosia. U know i do love u xxxxxxxxx

R: I know. Just be with someone who actually wants to be with you though. x

______________________________________________________________________________________

I'm not going to lie. Ending it with him was not the easiest. In my head I could just picture his cute little face dropping. I held myself together. I know that there are loads of girls outside of school killing to be in my position. Why not let them have it if I don't want it? I would much rather have a relationship with Dave from work. No, I know what you're thinking. I'm not going to go for him... yet anyway. I'm done with boys you know. I'm going to focus on mu studies and on you. The wasteless time I spent with him I could have been writing to you. It would have been boring talk but it's something I want to do. Finally being able to tell someone how I was feeling at the time makes me feel better. I have that satisfaction to know someone actually cares.

Family. It's something I care about. Dad is recovering from his argument with mum. He spent more time with Jessica and mum's back at work. I have a part time home job to look after her. I'm not too bothered because at least I get to spend time with her. Tron... he's beeing acting strange. He told us he's not really bothered about seeing Jessica much because his family is more important. Like I toally understand that Neon is more important and stuff but his own mother? I mean it upset me to think that he didn't care about us, but I was more upset the fact my mum was crying. He did it over text too. He didn't call her... he didn't come up and see her or anything. He did it over the internet. If my child- no more talking about kids. It reminds me of Marty. 

I moved school... did I mention that? Everyone at my school was annoying me... they kept saying stuff like Martys girl... How's Paula? And I couldn't take it. I got mum to call Mr Glutt and ask him would a transfer be an option. He said of course. We moved down south and I moved to a better school. I ended things with Marty before we moved. I quit my job and I want to be more focused on my studies. My house is so much better now. My room is bigger then Jessicas (finally). I got a new mobile device. And my dad bought me an iPad. I mean moving here was a good thing. Not just for me but for my family. Mum and dad haven't been arguing as much. Jessica is growing up slowly and I am meeting new people.

So there is this new girl at my school, she's called El. (I think it's short for Elizabeth but I never asked). She's really cool! We hang out all the time. I tell her about my past experiences with males, friends and family. She was shocked to find out that I have older brothers. I explained the whole Marty thing with her. The underwear walk-in. The skirt ripping off. The pictures put around school walls. Him wanting to babysit my brothers million kids. It was a stress explaining him and his... way of life. But once I showed her a picture she understood. She was shocked that he was even at my school let alone my boyfriend. I told her about Papa. Yes Papa. I forgot he was an ex, you forgot we all forgot. It's all good. He called me the other day. Did I not mention? And then that's when things got a little weird. She said she had a boy named Papa here. We talked about him and ofcourse - a perfect match. All topics are about boys.

Now to finish talking about boys there is this totally perfect one called Dave at my new work. I said him before but I didn't elaborate. So, he is this 6ft, 190lbs of all man. I tell you. Tattoos, beards and stylish hair. He's 18. I'm 17. This is supposed to be a match. I mean I have never seen a girl with him. I have never seen a girlfriend on his Facebook so... I ASSUME he is single. Don't hold me to that thanks. I'm totally in love with him. I doubt he even knows me. I'm the checkout girl who says

'Would you like to see any of our offers?' and 'That'll be ...'

I'm trying to dedicate more time to you. I swear. But with the move and getting to know people it's difficult. Please don't hate me. Well I have to go. It's nice to have a little catch up.

Rosia xox

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